Why would you be surprised that people who ascribe to AP, which is ultimately about being able to put yourself in your child's shoes, are also able and willing to be empathetic to another mom's feelings and/or situation? Or that they tend to respond to what seems like judgement, regardless of how you're saying that you're not judging this person--since most AP people have felt the sting of someone judging them at some point?
To me, the folks who practice AP (and not just a checklist) tend to be very easily able to have empathy for other people--even when they disagree.
I will also echo the sentiments of many of the WOHM here. Three hours alone with the kids after a day of work would be scary - as would an entire weekend day. Business trips were often my salvation. Sometimes you are just in such a business groove that you really can't switch gears and check-in at home. I didn't check in with my husband when I did my Reserve Duty either. I was just in a different role - not wife and mother, but in-charge.
I spent a LOT of time chatting with my caregivers at the end of the day. to be honest, I felt it was VERY important to have a good rapport with my caregivers - and here I thought everyone loved me 'cause I was the chatty mom that asked about them or shared a laugh about my own day. Honestly, my way of connecting to my children was to connect to their caregivers. I guess that makes more sense at the baby stage, but it's carried over into the after school care.
Finally, I was never so happy than when my daughter started kindergarten (at 5.5 yo) and could drop state mandated naps. It moved the sleep time from after 10 pm to closer to 8:30 or 9! I don't know that there is a solution for anyone there. But where does the state get off telling someone when to nap kids!?