Talk me back down and help me be more realistic! - Page 2

[MommaKitten21]

Originally Posted by MammaB21

Good luck to you and I hope your LO will cooperate and come out to meet daddy. If not, remember that you can do this!!! A doula is a great idea, and it sounds like your midwife is increadibly supportive. You will find the ability to care for your children while your husband is gone. That strength will present itself and you'll get through it!!!

Thank you for this! It was just what I needed to hear.

DH and I just keep bouncing back and forth. I honestly don't think we will make a decision until the day we plan to induce. We have decided, that if for whatever reason we decide not to... that we are going to lie to family and just say it didn't work

This way, we avoid the drama in regards to our sudden change in plans. Like I said, we keep going back and forth. I think we will discuss things with our midwife closer to time and just see what she says.

[MommaKitten21]

Well, the decision has been made for us

DH received a phone call. They have decided to change his ship out date from July 17th to July 6th. So no chance to induce. 13 days until he leaves for 286 days. I'm not sure how I feel about things right now, but now I need to think of things to do to make him as included in the birth experience as possible. Pictures are a definite, but besides that I'm not sure for ideas.

[somegirl99]

I'm sorry he has to leave so soon.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Oh mama I'm so sorry you have to do the end of pregnancy and labor/birth without your DH. That would be so challenging. I will be praying for you both!

[MonP'titBoudain]

Oh no! Sorry it's even earlier. I can't even imagine... you are such a strong mama!

As for other ways to help him feel included in the birth, can you ask someone to take some video? Or can he write a letter to the baby that you can record yourself reading to her/him after s/he's born? Then you can send him that? Or if you have a voice recorder, he could record the letter himself and you could tape her listening to it? Likewise, he could record himself reading favorite bedtime books to her or singing favorite bedtime songs. I would think anything that he can leave that is a little bit of him (voice, thoughts, etc) that you can then share with the baby, especially in those newborn days and then record that sharing of so he can then see it later might be helpful. A sort of virtual bonding. I don't know if any of that is helpful, but maybe it will get your creative juices flowing!

[MissMorgan]

Originally Posted by MonP'titBoudain

Oh no! Sorry it's even earlier. I can't even imagine... you are such a strong mama!

As for other ways to help him feel included in the birth, can you ask someone to take some video? Or can he write a letter to the baby that you can record yourself reading to her/him after s/he's born? Then you can send him that? Or if you have a voice recorder, he could record the letter himself and you could tape her listening to it? Likewise, he could record himself reading favorite bedtime books to her or singing favorite bedtime songs. I would think anything that he can leave that is a little bit of him (voice, thoughts, etc) that you can then share with the baby, especially in those newborn days and then record that sharing of so he can then see it later might be helpful. A sort of virtual bonding. I don't know if any of that is helpful, but maybe it will get your creative juices flowing!

Those all seem like really sweet ideas. I second the video of the birth if at all possible and then keep up with videos throughout his leave.
I'm SO SO sorry that you have to do any of this. I think you are awesome, brave and super strong..

[MammaB21]

Originally Posted by MommaKitten21

Well, the decision has been made for us

DH received a phone call. They have decided to change his ship out date from July 17th to July 6th. So no chance to induce. 13 days until he leaves for 286 days. I'm not sure how I feel about things right now, but now I need to think of things to do to make him as included in the birth experience as possible. Pictures are a definite, but besides that I'm not sure for ideas.

Oh no. I'm so sorry he's leaving earlier than expected.

Some ideas to make your DP feel as involved in the birth day as possible:

-Pictures and definitely video if you can. You could even edit it afterward and add captions for what was going on in your head at the time.

-Get foot prints of baby stamped on a canvas. You can then write time/day/weight/height/name of baby in an artsy way and frame it to send to your hubby.

-Have a NB sized onsie secretly inked (or you and DH can do it together before he leaves) with something like "Dadies little angel". Then have it be babies very first outfit. After it's been worn for a little while and all full of that special baby smell, send it to your DH with a pic of baby wearing it after birth.

-Have DH help you pick out all of your birth music/candles/whatever you use for comfort. Have him help with your birth plan so he feels included.

-Do something fun with the pregnancy like a belly cast or henna with DH before he leaves.

Things to make you feel close to DH while in labor:

-Have DH do a voice recording of encouraging phrases like "I love you" "You're doing great" "You're so strong" "One contraction at a time" "Relax and open" etc........Hearing his voice during labor might help remind you of his support even from far away.

-Get a picture of your DH doing something silly or making a kissy face (or whatever would reflect his personality best) that you can use as a focal point.

-Use one of DH's shirts (unwashed) to hug, squeeze, or wear during labor. (I know this sounds cheesy but I'm a smell person and I know that would feel comforting to me).



Some other general suggestions for labor: get a doula!!! Also, don't try and be too strong. Emotional issues can cause labor to stall, so if you feel yourself missing your DH allow yourself to express that. Cry if you need to. Let the sadness go and then push forward in your labor. YOU can do it!!!

Once that little bundle of joy is here, take lots of pics and video to send to your DH. You can have him record himself reading a story or something to have the baby listen to and learn his voice. I know it seems like forever, but that baby will give you strength and purpose and the time will fly by.

[AmyKT]

Oh, MommaKitten! That sucks!

You've gotten lots of good ideas on how to help your DH feel included. I wish you both the best with this.

[MommaKitten21]

Oh you ladies are wonderful!!!

Thank you for the wonderful ideas! I even cried when I read a couple of them

I will definitely be planning some of these ideas! I even visited cafepress.com for some onesie ideas!