gifted play group - Page 3

[Holiztic]

Originally Posted by connieculkins

but I really don't want her to come to anymore because her children are far from gifted

(bolding mine)

You do realize what people think when you make a statement like that, right? "Far from gifted" implies below average or perhaps barely average.

Then we hear this:

Originally Posted by connieculkins

I talked to my friend and she now thinks that her child is gifted . Apparently, her oldest maxxed out 2/3 end of the year assessments at the school with 100s (math and analysis) and is reading a couple of years ahead too. Also, he made straight As all year with little effort according to her. The principle told her that her child is one of the smartest in the school based on the results of his tests and is going to have the teacher differentiate the curriculum in the fall. Out of curiosity what do you guys think about her kid? Gifted or bright?

Between the "far from average" exaggeration, the eyeroll, the need to ask us if we think the kid is gifted...it really sounds to me like you have some competition/insecurity issues with this friend (or perhaps in general) that you might want to look at honestly and work on before trying to lead such a group.

I expect a leader of a group to be kind, warm, welcoming, and above all not competitive! I could not imagine walking into a LLL meeting and being asked how long I plan to nurse or if I supplement and then being discouraged from joining if my answers didn't line up with their standards!

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by connieculkins

Then why are you in this sub-forum then?

Originally Posted by mamadebug

This thread caught my eye from the front page and I thought the topic/conversation was interesting. I'll bow out now.

Sigh. This thread has been about exclusion. I think the general advice leaned toward encouraging inclusion and welcoming those who want to contribute. It would be ironic if the very same real-life situation that started this entire discussion was allowed to play out here.

mamadebug, I for one hope you won't bow out unless you have nothing further you'd like to contribute to the conversation.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Sigh. This thread has been about exclusion. I think the general advice leaned toward encouraging inclusion and welcoming those who want to contribute. It would be ironic if the very same real-life situation that started this entire discussion was allowed to play out here.

mamadebug, I for one hope you won't bow out unless you have nothing further you'd like to contribute to the conversation.

Well said.

[stik]

I think any time a conversation goes to a place where people are asked to justify their participation, that's a bad thing.

I am a teacher, and a parent. I do not see many gifted children in my classroom, even though I work mainly with AP and IB students, many of whom were identified as gifted in elementary school. I have one child of school age. She is gifted, but has not been identified as gifted by the school. And I'm fine with that. I know exactly why she wasn't identified as gifted on the district's testing, and I could arrange other testing which would rectify the situation at any time. But it doesn't make a lick of difference - there is no budget for gifted services, so children ID'd as gifted aren't getting anything special. Further, her gifts are not such as will be well-appreciated in her school years. Because honestly, the ability to recognize and understand the implications of generic conventions and symbolic motifs in media, however awesome that may be in a small child, doesn't get you very far in the third grade.

Her peers know she's smart. Her teachers know she's smart. She knows she's smart. She and I know that last week's homework is probably still buried at the bottom of her school bag.

Thus, I can well see why teachers can easily identify giftedness in their own children and not necessarily do as well with other people's.

[Hoopin' Mama]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Sigh. This thread has been about exclusion. I think the general advice leaned toward encouraging inclusion and welcoming those who want to contribute. It would be ironic if the very same real-life situation that started this entire discussion was allowed to play out here.
.

Since you expressed this welcoming sentiment, I (a mom to a delightful average little boy) will share my two cents

I have two good friends who have gifted children. For one of them, I didn't even realize until very recently, it's such a social nonissue. The other I knew for a long time b/c he is so much more outgoing.

As the friend, I would understand something along the lines of being told the purpose of the group. If I decided to attend anyway, I imagine I would stop going if the discussions were not useful to me.

OTOH if my friends were rolling their eyes at me on the internet and saying they feel sorry for my far-from-gifted child, then I would like them to stop calling me.

If you keep your playgroup open, natural relationships will blossom and you could always try to get together with just a handful of Moms over dinner to discuss things like IQ's and curriculums.

[HeatherB]

I believe all useful points have been shared on this thread. It is now closed.