When other kids act out - Page 2

[number572]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

I would probably have dealt with my own child differently- oops-a-daisy, mwah-mwah-mwah, off you go, and definitely would not mention the other child's behavior. Certainly not threaten to take the toy away if he didn't shape up. I'm not opposed to social consequences or anything, it's just that it's not my kid.

I would more likely re-direct the play generally if I had time to assess what was happening. For example, was he hounding the baby? Did he need directed play? (These are rhetorical questions I'd consider myself, I'm not asking the OP.) Was there a toy they all wanted? How could we arrange to share it? That type of thing. Especially at his age--babies really excite them.

"Maybe the best thing is to step in before any aggressive stuff happens and try to prevent it."

I agree but I always think, well, since we're not perfect, stuff IS going to come up, and when it does, that is when these threads and discussions are useful.

I'm not in this situation yet, and really love this way of thinking/dealing with incidents like these (edna marie's way). Its so true that we encounter pushy people as adults all of the time & its a great skill to ignore the other person's bad behavior and to try to focus on how to redirect the situation altogether. OP, I think you handled it awesomely (is that a word??) as a spur of the moment event tho!! You sound like a great mom.

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

I just wanted to add one more thing. If my child were very passive like you describe yours, I would really focus on helping her express her self and assert her needs to the other child. It really helps children to have adults model the appropriate language and to have adults encourage them to practice using that language to get their needs met.

While she has NO problems asserting her needs, we do try to help her be more assertive towards how others are making her feel (note my comment about how proud I was of her the time I caught her standing up for herself LOL), but I'd actually be interested in hearing more comments on this as well. She doesn't talk much though, so she's unable to use words to express herself (which makes it a bit challenging for us to help teach her how to hold her ground... Right now we're just happy that she's not fighting back!).

This is an important lesson!

[seawind]

coming back one more time- it IS the age and the stage. there is a reason why there are books on dealing specifically with the ages of a child, the behaviors at that stage and ways to deal to them.

but, you now add that he has been evaluated as well. have you ever wondered if his mother might well be stressed about dealing with it all. plus, she has a 12 month old to care for too. meanwhile, you have some good suggestions on helping your daughter in these situations.