12 mo old cries at mealtimes--don't know what to do - Page 2

[woodchick]

I'm a little confused because you say that he isn't progressing with eating finger foods, but you also say that you aren't offering him any finger foods.

And by offering I mean putting something like black beans in front of him and letting him at them. Doesn't he try to eat little things like that? I can't imagine he wouldn't try. Don't pressure him to eat them.

It sounds like you're on top of his possible issues and are getting some good advice here. Good luck!

[alegna]

If he can't handle solids (not liquid purees) then he's not ready for solids. MANY babies get the majority of their nutrition from breastmilk until 18 months or beyond.

-Angela

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

The only finger foods I have offered are the cereal puffs and bits of fruit. In the past, anything of a thicker texture would make him gag/vomit so I would wait a bit of time. I did get him to eat some mashed/whole lentils and split peas a couple of times, but now he refuses them both. So, I recently started introducing fruit chunks. Not sure what else to offer next. That was major progress to have him eat the very small fruit chunks. I've tried a small pancake and a bit of bread, but he just spreads it around his tray and makes it into crumbs that can't even be picked up by him. Anything else is foreign to him and he just smears it around or throws it off the side of his tray. I suppose that is part of the learning process, but he does need to eat something.

Popular finger foods around here:
Pinto or black beans, squashed a little (but not pureed).
Carrots or parsnips or sweet potatoes, cooked soft but still holding their shape.
Broccoli - again, not al dente.
Brown rice, sometimes with a little shredded cheese.
braised meats: chicken, pork, beef

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

Also, what do you do about foods like oatmeal, purees and yogurt, as a few examples? Do you have them self feed foods like that that are not really finger foods? Do you just let them smear it on their fingers and put their fingers in their mouths to self feed?

Actually, if you wanted to give him a shot at applesauce or yogurt, you could just hand him the spoon and see how he does. Dd2 (15 months) pretty much demanded it when she was about 12 or 13 months old. we helped a little at first, but now--so long as she's hungry--she does a good job with the spoon, albeit with assists from her hands. You know, the entire hand into the container and then the mouth! If she's not hungry, the food winds up smeared all over everything and on the floor.

Re: reading his cues, you could try a little baby signing, if you haven't already. We'd been working on 'more,' but after awhile figured out that dd2 takes that sign to be 'I want.' So she is able to communicate when she's hungry. And sometimes, as much as she loves solids, she really does only want to nurse.

[LadyCatherine185]

As far as the hunger "cues" go, before my DS could verbally tell me that he was hungry and what he wanted, it was crying/fussing and I would usually offer the breast. I only offered solids when I sat down to have breakfast, lunch and dinner. As he got older and became more verbal, he could tell me if he wanted a "snack" (solids) or "milka" (nursing). Once we started cutting down on nursing, if he asked for milkas I would offer a cup or snack in place. He was able to understand what I was saying, though, and was eating a lot of solids on a regular basis before we started cutting back on nursing.. My milk did dry up though, so that made him eat more solids to fill up rather than relying on breastmilk.

I agree with PP's about teaching some sign language. Also, weaning him to milk or formula rather than pushing solids. Offer him a sippy cup/straw cup/bottle every couple hours, and offer solids only during your mealtimes and don't push it.

[nukuspot]

My DD would refuse being fed with a spoon. But she loves to self feed mushy stuff and make a mess. It's harder for me with all the cleaning but she eats much better this way. I give her a bowl of oatmeal (for example) and she picks it up with her hands and shoves it in her mouth. She's very picky too, though not as much as your LO. I might add that for a finger food the #1 best hit here was fresh organic blueberries (I chopped each one into quarters at first). Now she also really likes peas and black beans and grapes. I think babies have to like both the taste and texture to get excited about food. Our ped also worried us too about having her eat more food, but I think that all babies will go at their own pace. I may have less worry than you because she is still BF, though, and you are trying to wean. I can't imagine the stress on me if I was trying to wean my LO, and she is a good 2 months older than yours. I just don't think she can possible eat enough food to not need milk! But I understand where you are coming from. One last thing that I found really was great is homemade smoothies. Today DD had one with a whole carrot, a handful of parsley, a banana, a date, and goat milk kefir. I put it into a shot glass and she makes a huge mess

[nukuspot]

Oh, and totally still processed and not whole foods (but organic and not as gross/GMO as cheerios) are Happy Baby puffs http://www.happypuffsfood.com/.

They were something that helped my DD get used to finger foods at around 11-12 months...Maybe you can try them?

[wife&mommy]

What does he do if you are eating around him? Is he interested at all? Like does he have any interest in food on his own when not in a high chair or in the typical "I'm going to feed you this" mode?

[Lisa85]

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

Ironically, my worries are based on comments from others leading me to believe that things aren't "normal".

"Food before one is just for fun". Okay, so now that he is almost 13 months I thought there was cause for concern since he isn't getting much solids and he is small. And, I read posts from other moms with kiddos who eat a lot more than my LO.

To add to my concern, his pediatrician was concerned enough to write an Rx for a feeding clinic because she said that he should be well on his way with finger foods and 6 mo on purees is very sloow progress. She has raised 5 kids herself.

So, I figured there was something I should be worried about. I mean if his dr is concerned...

His dr suspects oral sensory issues since he was a preemie and it's common in that group, so that is why she thinks we need to nip this in the bud before the feeding issues carry through to toddlerhood.

There is a bit more to that, but I posted a separate concern on that in another group, so didn't want to get into that in this post.

I just wasn't so sure that he had sensory issues, which resulted in my initial posting on not eating well and thinking I was doing something wrong. I have since researched more and heard from other moms and think it could be an issue for him based on the criteria.

I have been wanting to wean, but that was a secondary thing to this whole eating issue because of his ped's concerns.

I do make my own organic pureed fruits and veggies (he only gets organic foods), though I have supplemented with some store bought organic options since some things I couldn't puree smooth enough for him. He is progressing, but very slowly, and he seemed to be regressing on some days. Due to my inexperience in momhood, I didn't know that is common.

I had to do purees because that was all he would eat without gagging and vomiting, which is probably tied to the oral sensory issue. I waited until he was 7 mo old before doing solids.

I probably have about a 5 mo stash of frozen BM from what I can estimate, and I have started to give that to him in a sippy cup to drink throughout the day. It's probably about 10-12 oz. I thought it was more that that. I'll have to measure the contents of a bag next time. I was determined that he would get BM for as long as possible as I transition to weaning. The past month or so, I have been able to go 4-6 hrs without BFing him during the day and at night, and yesterday, went as long as 7 hrs during the afternoon. He was too busy playing.

I guess what I needed to hear from others is that this eating behavior was "normal" because I have not been around babies before and didn't know what to expect with my own LO. And, hearing from many of you, I now know that it is quite common. I still need to have him evaluated for oral issues per his ped.

I do need to chill out. I wish I were wired that way. If I could be "reprogrammed" I would be the first in line, as I want to be the best mom possiblef or my LO.

((Hugs)) He is totally normal. There is a wide, wide range of 'normal'. You see other babies eating lots more, but what you don't notice are the ones that aren't eating much solids at all (because there really isn't anything to notice). I visisted a friend when my dd1 was 14 months old. Her son, a few months younger at the time, absolutely devoured a graham cracker. I have never seen a kid eat something so fast. I had given dd1 a graham cracker before and she nibbled on it. Looked like a rat had gotten to it and never did she eat more than a quarter of a 1/4 section. And as I posted before, she has never had an eating issues. She just wasn't ready to eat solids when the textbooks said she was. She knows her body better than a textbook does

Originally Posted by woodchick

I'm a little confused because you say that he isn't progressing with eating finger foods, but you also say that you aren't offering him any finger foods.

And by offering I mean putting something like black beans in front of him and letting him at them. Doesn't he try to eat little things like that? I can't imagine he wouldn't try. Don't pressure him to eat them.

It sounds like you're on top of his possible issues and are getting some good advice here. Good luck!

It actually is really normal for a child not to. Dd1 just simply did not have an interest in eating. We offered foods 100% no pressure at the same age as the OP's son and she did nothing with it. Maybe 4 or 5 cheerios on a good day. I've since talked to several other moms whose dc were the same.