Montessori class request (long)

[lach]

My DD is going to a well established and very popular Montessori preschool next year that I hear only raves about. They have four 3-5yo classrooms, including a new one that they just added last year. Last year it just had 3 year olds, this year it will have 3 and 4 year olds, and next year 2011-2012 school year) it will be complete.

I really don't want my daughter in that classroom, and I'm wondering if I should say that. Part of it is that one of my very favorite things about Montessori is the age mix. I want her in with the complete age range, including kids who had 2 full years. I think the youngest kids can learn so much from the older kids. And it concerns me that the 4 year olds in this classroom were in a class all by themselves this year and never got that experience.

Part of it is her personality. I don't really know how to say this politely without sounding like an awful mother, but she has a very strong personality. She is very bossy and strong-willed. She was in a 2yo program last year, and by all accounts she was the class leader and all of the other kids followed her around and obeyed her every order. This sounds completely crazy even to me, because I had no idea that 2 and 3 year olds behaved like that but the teachers spoke to me about it a bit and I witnessed it myself. It is not behavior that has ever been modeled for her at home or in any other environment, it is just how she is. I want her in a larger class with older kids who she can look up to and learn more appropriate social interactions from. She loves older kids and looks up to them and I think it would be a great experience for her to interact with them on a daily basis and form friendships.

Part of it is the classroom itself. She did her visiting day in that classroom, and while the teacher was wonderful it was definitely a completely different vibe from the other classrooms that I had observed in that building. Little work was being done, and the social interactions among the much smaller group of kids were not what I would like from a Montessori preschool. That is as polite as I can be about it. Maybe it was just the day that I visited: I'm sure even the most peaceful, lovely, best-led Montessori classrooms has days when everyone is in a funk and the kids are all fighting and no one does any work. Maybe I just visited on that particular day. But it's still not something that I really want to chance.

So I'm wondering if you think I should call the school and ask that she not be placed in that class? There's a 1 in 4 chance of her going into that classroom. But I guess I'm a bit worried that since she has Montessori experience, unlike most (maybe any) of the other incoming kids, they'd be more likely to put her in the class that is just forming.

But I don't want to make it an issue if it's not an issue. If she's assigned to another class, I have no issues.

And I swear I'm not a PITA parent and I don't want to start out my relationship with this school by being "that" parent. On my honor I never once made any sort of ruckus at the last school! Or at any Gymboree or infant/toddler type class that we went to! But I just don't want her in that classroom, and I'm paying a lot of money for a private school and I sort of feel like I should advocate for what I want from that experience. If she is assigned to that class, and I ask to switch, I'm sure they'll try to talk me out of it, and then what am I supposed to say? My daughter's a bully and that classroom was chaotic and not real enough Montessori for me? That'll go over well I'm sure.

Sorry this post was so long, but I would love some advice. Do you think it's worth getting off to a bad start with this school by being an annoying demanding parent (when I SWEAR I am not) over something that I feel this strongly about, but which may not even be an issue?

[sapphire_chan]

I'd think if they're any good as a school, they'd rather have your dd succeed. "I think my dd would do better in one of these 3 classrooms" is a perfectly reasonable request.

Mind you, I do wish they had some way of introducing the new 3 year olds to the school, such as having small groups of the 3-only class go to the mixed age classes on a regular basis, or bringing in older kids. My understanding is that seeing the experienced children is an important part of the normalization process and I'd be a bit worried about how well the 3-only class will normalize to the environment and, therefore, how well they'll fill the role of the older child when the next round of students enters.

Ah, and I see from your OP that my concerns about this are valid:

Part of it is the classroom itself. She did her visiting day in that classroom, and while the teacher was wonderful it was definitely a completely different vibe from the other classrooms that I had observed in that building.

The kids don't have the peer models for behavior and it shows.

Please tell me they put experienced teachers in with the new class??

[lach]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

I'd think if they're any good as a school, they'd rather have your dd succeed. "I think my dd would do better in one of these 3 classrooms" is a perfectly reasonable request.

Mind you, I do wish they had some way of introducing the new 3 year olds to the school, such as having small groups of the 3-only class go to the mixed age classes on a regular basis, or bringing in older kids. My understanding is that seeing the experienced children is an important part of the normalization process and I'd be a bit worried about how well the 3-only class will normalize to the environment and, therefore, how well they'll fill the role of the older child when the next round of students enters.

Ah, and I see from your OP that my concerns about this are valid:

The kids don't have the peer models for behavior and it shows.

Please tell me they put experienced teachers in with the new class??

Yes, a very experienced teacher. She's been there forever, and was the teacher of a friend who is my age. And that student's mother, who I know, said she's absolutely the most amazing teacher in the school and I should definitely try to get her. So that does make me feel better if my daughter is put in that class. But I just felt that the environment, with just the 10 kids all age 3, didn't work. And I don't think that's the teacher's fault, I just think that the large, multi-age classroom is integral to the Montessori experience. In watching the other classrooms (and at 2 different Montessori schools) I just felt that the quiet hum of activity kept everything chugging and all of the kids concentrating on their own thing. In this classroom, it just wasn't like that. The kids all just kind of followed the leader and no one really worked independently.

Thank you for your advice. Maybe I will try to call tomorrow.

[sapphire_chan]

One thing that should help if she did go to that class is that she'd be one of 20 kids with 10 kids a year older than her, right?

Did you observe the class at the beginning of the year or later?

[lach]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

One thing that should help if she did go to that class is that she'd be one of 20 kids with 10 kids a year older than her, right?

Did you observe the class at the beginning of the year or later?

Yes. But the 10 kids a year older were never in a multi-age classroom before.

I observed it at the end: just a few weeks ago. We were late in applying.

[sunshineafterrain]

I think my dd would do better in one of these 3 classrooms

I think sapphire_chan put a good spin on it, phrasing it in the positive.
When you explain yoursefl further you can just expand upon your love of the mixed age group in Montessori etc

I think you should tell them now, I think your concerns are valid, and it will probably be easier to address, and rectify, now;

if you wait and she is placed there several classrooms will be disrupted, where now they are just in the planning stage and it might only require removing her name from that class and adding it to one of the other three

Good luck

ETA Plus by addressing it now you won't worry about it all summer

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by lach

Yes. But the 10 kids a year older were never in a multi-age classroom before.

I observed it at the end: just a few weeks ago. We were late in applying.

Bother, that's not good then. I was hoping that maybe they were still settling in or something.

I wonder what the usual method for creating new classes in a Montessori school is? For instance, how do schools start from scratch? Maybe what the school is doing does work out eventually, but I definitely would ask to have my kid be away from that process.

[Lisa1970]

I would say something. We have schools here that call themselves Montessori, but then you can tell right off that they are not as they will have 3 yr old room separate from 4 yr old room, separate from 5 yr old room and so on. Then they have a lot of teacher led lessons. Then they claim they are still Montessori because they have some hands on activities. I have wondered if maybe some of these schools started as Montessori and then got away from it.

I want the age range. One big thing in Montessori is learning from each other. I would absolutely not want my children to be in a classroom with just 3 and 4 yr olds. So go ahead and say something. I completely agree with you!

[lach]

Thanks everyone for your advice It turned out to be a non-issue. I'm very happy with her class assignment.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by lach

Thanks everyone for your advice It turned out to be a non-issue. I'm very happy with her class assignment.