First night away from LO--need emotional and practical tips!

[annemoonstar]

This is x-posted in working parent forum...

DS is almost 15 months old, still BF at night and sleeps with us. With a few exceptions he has almost always nursed to sleep and rarely will go down for night time for anyone other than me (he does fine with our nanny for naps).

I have to go out of town for 2 nights for a work related training. We considered me taking him and our nanny/my sister, but the cost was just way too prohibitive for us. So DS is staying home with DH, my sister (who is our daytime nanny), and my mom is coming to help.

I know he will be fine! My mom will put him down and DH will be there with him if he wakes in the middle of the night. And yet, whenever I think about this trip I feel totally panicky! This is especially true when he wakes up in the morning and reaches for me. I feel so sad at the idea of not being there when he gets up!

Any ideas for how to get through this trip emotionally??

I also have some practical questions.

What to do about EBM? DS hasn't used a bottle in about 3 months and doesn't usually drink BM during the day. He uses a sippy cup for water, juice and occasionally coconut milk. My sister has tried to give him BM in a sippy cup, but he hasn't taken it. So what should they do while I"m gone? Reintroduce the bottle? Or try BM in the sippy cup? One thing I really worry about is him weening because of this trip. I'm fine if he wants to ween, but I really don't want it to be because I am out of town! Any ideas?

Second, DH has intermittent back problems that prohibits him from carrying DS too much--which is why my mom is planning to put DS to bed. However, DH does the bedtime routine and DS sleeps in bed with DH and I. If DS wakes after my mom goes to bed, DH will have to just hold DS in bed until he goes back to sleep--which will almost certainly mean crying. So I wonder if I should just ask my mom to sleep with DS all night and have DH just do the night and morning routine? Or is being near daddy better, even if it means crying?

I really want to be able to skype or talk to DS on the phone while I'm gone, but I'm afraid that will be more confusing and upsetting to him. What do you all think?

Any other tips for those of you who have had to do this??

Thanks!

[Jend1002]

I don't have any practical tips in response to your questions, but I did want to tell you that I had a 2 night work trip when my son was under 12 months and I was a mess emotionally prior to leaving. But when I got to my destination, I relaxed and actually enjoyed some time away. It sounds like you have made some excellent arrangements for your DS and he will be surrounded by family. Try to enjoy some time alone!

[NEastMomma]

Hi there,
Sorry, I don't have any tips, but wanted to agree with the PP who said that you clearly have great arrangements in place!

My gut says that DS, though he'll miss you, will get the message that his loving Daddy, Grandma and Auntie are all here for him to help him and love him. I also wonder if he gets as excited about Grandma as my 10 month old does? If so, this will work wonders in your (his) favor. He'll have a special visit from exciting Grandma to distract him.

Though it is not exactly the same, I was a WRECK when I returned to work part time when my DS was only 3mos old. DS would not take a bottle for me or DH and I was FREAKING OUT about going back. I could barely sleep, seriously. Well, day 1 back at work, I called my sister (who babysat him) to check on baby and guess what? He took a bottle from her no problem! I was floored. Perhaps your little guy will surprise you too?

I can so appreciate how you are feeling. You are clearly so wonderfully attached to your babe - what a lucky little fellow he is. But you will get through it with lots of calls to home.

Hang in there!

[ellegoat]

I think the trip will be much harder on you than it is on him! I recently left my LO for the first time (at 20 months) for two nights for work as well. She did fine, while I was sad and anxious the whole time.

One thing I did was to record some short video messages for her using the webcam, just saying hello and what I would be doing and singing one of our songs. The webcam software also came with avatars (so you look like a cat or a shark talking, instead of yourself) so I used those, which were apparently a big hit with her.

When I finally came home, she was like, "Mommy! Mommy! Oh yay, and you brought the car back too! Okay, put me down to play in it now!" So she was fine.

[annemoonstar]

Thank you all for your posts and encouragement. I leave tomorrow. I still feel super anxious about it but have the intention to do things that are relaxing and reminiscent of my pre-baby life while I am away (like sleep through the night!). Its good to hear from other mamas who have been away and had ok reunions. That is the part that I get anxious about. I know he is only 15 months and he will be surrounded by loving family members, but I keep worrying he will experience some kind of implicit abandonment.

I am looking forward to being back and having this behind us! Thanks again for the words of wisdom! Wish me luck! (and sleep!)