does anyone else prefer to labor alone?

[caedmyn]

My 4 YO wanted to watch some videos of babies being born, so we watched a few homebirth videos on Youtube. It seems like all the ones that show any part of the labor, and most of the ones showing the actual birth, have other people doing labor support (mom leaning on dad, midwife rubbing back, that sort of thing). It made me feel like I'm kind of abnormal or something since I prefer to labor alone (ie pretty much in a room by myself though I don't mind if people wander in occasionally), and to push without "labor support" as well (people there but hands off). I am sure I am not the only one though...anyone else prefer to labor alone or not feel like they need "labor support" during labor?

[loveneverfails]

YUP! 5 births now, and I hate people hovering during labor. I actually have a very difficult time telling people that I need to push, because I don't want the attention. I ignore labor, so people trying to support me through labor tends to be weird and makes me feel like a watched pot.

[rad]

I'm the same as you. I really prefer to be left alone to labor. I need very little support during labor and if I do it's usually just some back rubs right at the end of labor.

[broodymama]

I do better laboring alone also. I don't like to be touched or talked to in labor, I'm more like a cat that wants to hide in the back of a nice comfy drawer of clothing and have her kittens in private.

[flitters]

I've only labored once, but it's split for me:

Mentally I think I prefer aloneness - really don't want to talk or interact or anything.

Physically I wanted (as in as much as you can want something without technically needing it) someone to press on my lower back the entire time.

[mommyfied]

Yes, I love being alone - and I wouldn't be wanting someone video it, so that may partially explain why the videos have lots of people around.

My last birth was fast and ended up being unassisted and I liked it that way. The midwife showed up right after to help and that was perfect.

[fairydoula]

You're definitely not alone!
I liked just laying in bed, on my side, or with my rear in the air for both of my homebirths. I laid quietly in the dark until things got more intense, then I asked dh to come in and just let me hold his hand tightly. He didn't talk, and I just breathed or growled.
It was just what I needed till I needed to get on the toilet and in the tub. Then I again, just quietly growled and held his hand.
Dh's hand was the anchor that helped me keep from floating completely away into laborland. He was my grasp, literally, on reality. But, fortunately, he was a quiet anchor.
I just remember him asking, once, if it would be much longer. He's very lucky that that didn't annoy me much at the time. I do remember thinking, "it'll take just as long as it needs to, buster, so shuddup and hold my hand". But I didn't say it! LOL! And it wasn't much longer, LOL!!! Baby was born less than 20 minutes after he asked that.
- Jen

[Peony]

All 3 labors I preferred to be alone. I couldn't stand it would people would come and check on me. There was only one time when I wanted someone around, towards the end of my labor with DS (he was posterior) I desperately needed counter pressure on my back but if I would of been happier if I could of done it myself.

[dziwozony]

I prefer to labour alone! I actually have a vivid memory of a time later on in labour of my 2nd birth when I was left completely alone while my partner was sorting out hot water & my midwife went on a walk with my toddler. I felt like it was a bit of a sacred moment.

When I'm actively labouring, I definitely like people around to find an immediate solution to any need I might have, like rags or hot water or something to drink or to help me up onto the birthing stool! But I don't need much interaction (occasional back rubs, but mostly I don't like to be touched) & I DEFINITELY don't need a labour coach! I cringe at the idea.

I always feel a bit disempowered during pushing, so my midwife offered some quiet, supportive words which were really helpful. But that's all I needed.

[JamieCatheryn]

I did best and felt best in labor when I was pretty much alone, but being waited on and had people to call on for whatever I might need. Come to think of it that may be why I made so many requests of my husband, sure I actually got hungry and thirsty but it also helped me to know *I* was the one doing this birth thing, even alone in the room it went on beautifully. At home I felt safe enough to be alone, no strangers would come bother me with him gone. He was there to keep my company a lot and I was clearheaded and happy much of the time, and when it got tough for a bit I did need him and later my MW to be there to tell me I could do it. I think we struck the right balance of alone and independent versus support.

My first time I had incorrectly taken from the Bradley class that I had DH trained for this so he had to be there and I couldn't and shouldn't do it without his full participation. Yes he could be and was a huge help both times, but my mindset of reliance held me back some. Not so with the second.

[momasana]

I definitely prefered to labor alone with DS's birth and I would like the same for this next baby. I did need support during pushing, though. I felt really out of control during the pushing part and I really needed someone there to tell me what to do! I am curious to see how it all plays out this time. If I were to my perfect birth I would labor and push the baby out all by myself (and it would be really fast and pain free, as well )