How to spend a night away from a cosleeping baby...

[jenniegann]

Hi there... I'm very very new here, discovered this site about a month ago and just now joined the forums, so I'm sorry if this is covered elsewhere... My daughter is 22 months now, we cosleep and love it, but my husband and I are starting to wonder about the possibility of her spending an occasional night with my parents if we want to stay out a bit later or possibly spend a night out of town. She spends two afternoons a week with my parents, they babysit frequently in the evenings, and they have no trouble getting her down for naps.

My daughter always nurses to sleep, and she usually wakes up around 5:30 or 6 for a feeding and then sleeps a bit more. My mom is confident that they could rock her or walk her and get her back to sleep. They probably could. But I guess my main questions are these:

How do you recommend preparing a baby to sleep elsewhere? Should I just be talking to her about it and just jump in and see what happens? My parents have a crib over there, but I told my mom I thought it would be too much to expect my daughter to sleep in a new place AND alone, so the plan is for my mom to sleep with her and my dad to take a night in the guest room. Does this seem reasonable?

I'm probably just being overcautious, probably the worst that could happen would be that no one would get a good night's sleep, I just want to do what I can to best prepare both my daughter and my parents. She's my first and most likely my only, so I'm pretty attached and have spent an awful lot of time with her. I guess since it's not a real necessity for her to spend the night away, I just want to be sure it's the best experience it can be. Thanks for any advice.

[karika]

I would firstly recommend waiting until child is older and can tell you how she feels about the idea. If you do elect to have her stay the night with mom, having them sleep together is a great idea. You should pump some milk to leave with mom that your child can drink from a cup when she wakes. I worked for a short time when dd1 was 1 and she would only take my milk cold from a glass. But given your dd is older, she would probably be fine with water and grandma rocking her. Another possibility would be to have your parents stay at your home, so you can come back to join them, sending your mom to sleep in the guest room with granddad. How long would you be away from dd? If it will be more than 3-4 hours of awake time, you should probably have some milk pumped off I would think. Any time away from your breasts is moving further into weaning also....

[Maluhia]

I think you have a great set up wth your DD comfortable with your Mom who is willing to rock her back to sleep with love, sure make sure to have pumped breastmilk at hand but if you get the chance for one night away and your DD is in loving capable hands than take what feels right. You may do it once and she does great, so there is your answer, or you may try it and she's super clingy afterwards and you'll understand that she needs a little longer. My DD was not ready for one night away until about four, and she was great with grandma before then, but only you as your DD's Mom really can ascertain what she's ready for.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

I think you have a great set up wth your DD comfortable with your Mom who is willing to rock her back to sleep with love, sure make sure to have pumped breastmilk at hand but if you get the chance for one night away and your DD is in loving capable hands than take what feels right. You may do it once and she does great, so there is your answer, or you may try it and she's super clingy afterwards and you'll understand that she needs a little longer.

We had our first night away when DS was around 16 months old, and he did great. Didn't cry, didn't miss us at all. At this time he was waking every 1-2 hours all night, which he still did with grandma but he went right back to sleep. He has since spent 2 more nights with my mom (and he sleeps much better now, and is not nursing much since my milk supply is gone) and did great those times as well.

[jenniegann]

Thanks so much for all the advice, ladies. I think we're going to hold off a bit longer until maybe my daughter has a better idea of what's going on and so we can talk to her about it, but I will definitely do some pumping beforehand. We're just starting to think we may like to go out of town for a night or something not too far, but we wanted to do a trial run where we would be close by to rescue if needed. I know I need to read more in this forum, it just helps to know that I'm not the only one who's used to sleeping with her baby and really digs it. Really, I'm not sure that I'm ready for a night away just yet...

[sarahsmiles]

My DD started having "overnights" with MIL around 18 months. MIL also had spent Fridays with DD for about a year at this point, and often had her over to "play." Even though she still nursed, she was fine with just a bit of cow milk or water when she woke, and slept fine (and still does) whenever she goes over there.

I think when you are feeling like you are ready for a night out, or even a night in, don't worry! Your child is loved and supported by people who are respecting your wishes, so you are golden. I wish all parents had that option!

[TerraNoelle]

yeah, it's probably good to hold off a bit.

My oldest is 3.5 and he can tell me how he feels. My youngest turns 2 next week. We do the family bed and he still nurses to sleep and through the night. It would not be a pretty site if we went away for a night right now!

I think next March [our 5th wedding anniversary] we may look at spending the night in a Bed & Breakfast that is 5 minutes from our house!! lol That way my 2 y.o. will be nearer to 3 and can understand more. Even then I'll see how he's doing and what the nursing situation is.

My DH would love to have a night away like NOW, but I just can't bring myself to leave the 2 y.o. yet. My 3.5 year old stayed with my mom once [when I gave birth to Aaron] for 2 nights. He loved it, wanted it and did great. Aaron is a whole other ball game!!

[Peony]

My moms always cosleeps with my kids when they spend the night at her house. We don't do nights away until age 3 though and none of them have been nursing at night by then. My 7 year was over there the other night and spent her first night sleeping with my dad who always sleeps in another room when DD1 is over. She loved it.

[staceychev]

My daughter co-slept with my mom from about age 2 (maybe a little before) until my mom bought her princess sheets for the twin bed a couple of months ago. :eyeroll

Anyway, I never pumped... just sent her with organic cow's milk which she also drank at daycare from about 18 months on. She still nursed until age four. I think that if you're set up for pumping (which I wasn't), pumping is a great idea. But, if you're not, don't feel like you're going to wean your 22-month old because of one night away from the breast.

[Jassey]

How to spend a night away from a cosleeping baby...

Hi My baby is only for two years old and except me never sleep with any body even with my husband. I am also addicted for his sleep. Now i have to go for a company meeting out of station. I feel much problem for both of us. any suggestion. cleveland launcher irons