How alternative is your alternative parenting?

[mamaofthree]

I consider myself pretty "alternative" in my parenting style. But there are some things that although they aren't weird, are even alternative to me.
So what do you do that is WAY unmainstream?
Like :
Unassisted childbirth
elimination communication
babywearing (Not just slinging... but wearing your naked baby against your naked chest( had a friend do this for the first 3 months of her babies life. Very beautiful... not sure how she did it) and not taking them off except to change a diaper or something like that)
Or anything else that you can think of!

H

[charmander]

Hmmm... what is elimination communication?

[Wildcrafter]

Elimination communication is something I WISH I knew about before ds was born. With this system diapers are only used for a short period of time, and the infant pees/poops on potty from very early age. I have a friend who has done this with her 18 month old who hasn't used a diaper since about 5 weeks. It's a lot of work from what I hear but so isn't diapering a baby all the time and the laundry to boot.

I'm sure some of the Mom's here can give you better info on it.

The things I get the most stares for in public:

nursing my toddler (that's gotta be the biggie)
hugging and cooing him while or after he is having a tantrum
talking to him all the time
not reprimanding him about stuff as much as I can, trying to just gently inform

Once the VBAC homebirth that I plan gets out I am sure that will raise some eyebrows!!

People around here think I am whacked but they love my son who is an absolute joy and very socialable. of course I'm partial!

[moss]

we try to tcs (take children seriously). basically, that means that instead of coercing our child into doing what we want him to do that we try to find common preferences that meet everyone's needs. we're not perfect at it by any means, but it's something that we strive towards.

I also wish that i'd known about ec when ds was an infant. I always knew when he needed to eliminate, but somehow i didnt ever make the connection that we didnt have to use dipes.

[mamaofthree]

Oh, yeah and the very extended nursing was another I wanted to add. Like past the first 5 years.

I want to add I don't think anyone is wrong or weird for doing any of these things. I was just wondering how alternative some families are.
I my family we are total freaks! But I love it!

H

[lunamomma]

unassisted childbirth

hi mammas,

i'm new to this board, but my dh and i just had an unassisted water birthh with our second son who is now 12 days old. it was wonderful. i made soup while i was in labor. granted i was omly in labor 4 hours but it was intense when i told my dh to jump in the tub with all his clothes on because the baby's head was right there. so yeah i'd have to say that and talking to my almost three year old giving him respect turns a few heads ...oh he has dreadlocks like his baba and a whole host of other things that makes people ask questions orr stare. the biggest one is that people assume i'm much younger than i am and get very confused. lol



lunamomma




mommy to Apsu 7/3/01 and Kush Amen 2/29/04 and married to Akil 8years

[Daffodil]

The only thing I do that I think anyone would consider way alternative is elimination communication, which I think is a really sensible idea. I thought it sounded like something I might consider the first time I read about it, way back before my baby was born, back when I still thought AP was just a little too baby-centered.

EC is working out great for us. My dd hasn't worn diapers (night or day) since she was 8 months old. Whenever I read threads on here about people who are frustrated because their 3 year old (or older) kids just aren't interested in using the potty, I think how glad I am that we won't have that issue, and how much more stressful it must be for a kid to spend years using diapers and then be told that he's going to have to switch to a totally new system.

There's an EC forum right here at MDC, for those of you who didn't know. It's a subforum of Diapering.

[Leonor]

Yay, a thread for me! I like freaks! I mean, alternatives

I birthed unassisted. I did cut the cord too early when I wanted to do a lotus birth. I also dressed the baby, and he wouldn't nurse with clothes on! I think the problem I had with breastfeeding in the first month was also due to lack of skin to skin contact, but my mother was always around scaring me into dress him clothes.

I wanted sling skin to skin, baby completely naked but never figured it out. I got a Maya Wrap, which is a good sling, but not good for that, and I've found out that it helped my baby immensly for to go out fo the house for long walks carrying him and I couldn't just have him naked, society doesn't understand that
I think you need one of those slings that needs to be tied by someone else to do skin to skin.

I did sling him until he was about 2, after that the Maya Wrap didn't hold (he was huge). I used to wear a big coat to hide him under the sling without putting too much clothes on him. My dad offered it to me and I was very happy he was supporting me on that.

I did EC until he was 9 months old, but never outside, he loved to be outside a lot. When he started crawling he stop signing and hated me to interrupt him to go potty. I quit EC but I would still have him diaperless when I got the chance.

My kid was barefoot all the time until he was 2. It was a joy to see him walking all over everything! It was a shock for people, burt he didn't like shoes and I thought they can cause medical problems, are unethical, so I didn't force. I think my abusive ex scared him into wearing as he only starting wanting them when he was taking care of him (and I was unsuspecting of abuse that time, but should have taken the clue).

I still breastfeed, and he's 4, but that's not after 5, so not too alternative yet

[Leonor]

Daffodil, even when going out your DD is diaperless? How do you manage? Do you have accidents?

I failed on EC and my child was potty trained late. I wanted to know what I did wrong.

[Irishmommy]

Lets see, homebirth, breastfeeding a 3.5 yo (heck, breastfeeding a baby over one).

Umm, that's about it.

[Piglet68]

It's funny because when I'm on this board I don't feel super alternative.

But we had some friends over for dinner a couple of weeks ago. A former colleague of mine and his wife. I think they were pretty shocked when I nursed my 20 month old. They were also really surprised to hear that she had never slept in a crib (it's a 1-bedroom apartment and the lack of crib was obvious, lol). Then I brought out my cloth diapers (which he, at least, was on the ball about). By the time they left I wondered if they thought we were freaks, LOL.

So I'd say that our family bed and nursing a toddler are what make us stand out from the crowd. Slinging doesn't seem so weird to me.

[Dar]

I suppose co-sleeping with an 11 yr old would count.

I "only" nursed her until she was almost 4, but it was her choice. It was interesting, 'cause at 3 1/2 I was sure she'd nurse forever.

When Rain was three, I was breastfeeding her on the grounds of the arizona state prison, in the visitation area, which is probably the first and last time anyone has done that.

Radical unschooling seems pretty alternative to most people, too. Also not punishing, and not having a bedtime Oh, and she's selectively vaccinated...

Dar

[insahmniak]

So glad you started this thread. I'm living in a very conservative town right now and I feel like such a freak. It's so nice to hear that I'm not alone.

We attempted an unassisted. Our house was still a mess (remodel) at the time, so we went to a hotel with a jacuzzi! I got to 10 and pushed for 4 hours until we saw what we thought was a bit of the cord. Not knowing for certain, I did hands-knees and we transported. Birth 40 minutes later just fine, except the docs wouldn't let me have the babe right away (babe was fine -- it was just a power-trip). I wanted the placenta and cord to dry and but didn't want to raise suspicions more than we already had. Didn't want the gender shouted out to me, which I was able to request before babe popped out. They thought we were freaks. I'd do it all over again, especially the hotel/jacuzzi part, but we're only having one -- by choice, which also seems freakish in some circles.

We ec and have a huge family bed. We'll homeschool/unschool. We don't vacc. We chose a new clan name for our family. We shop both sides of the clothing aisle, and I'm not at all willing to assume that our babe is hetero.

[bloobug]

I've had both my babies at home, second one unassisted. We don't vax. And we had our kids never believing that life would still be convenient, like most expectant parents.

Megan

[raleigh_mom]

I LOVE this thread!! I don't think I'm alternative at all. Especially when I read some of the posts on here. But other people seem to think I am alternative.

We co-sleep with our 3yo and 10mo. I breastfed DD1 to 18 mos and am sorry I stopped so soon. Have no idea when I'll stop with DD2. Cloth diapers with DD1. (shh-disposable with DD2) Carried DD1 most of the time - didn't know about slings. I sling and use a hip-carrier for DD2. No preschool for us except one year for DD1. (And here I am a preschool teacher, too!) The girls' bedtime is between 9 and 10pm. I am a SAHM. My house is a mess most of the time because I choose to spend most of my time playing with the girls. Oh, and I am a vegetarian who also likes to get organic snack food. Did I mention we plan on unschooling?

In my family I now qualify as a freak.

[Daffodil]

Originally posted by Leonor
Daffodil, even when going out your DD is diaperless? How do you manage? Do you have accidents?

Yep, even when we go out. We do have accidents, but only very rarely when we're out. They're much more likely at home. I take along her little potty and give her a chance to pee in the car before we go into a store, and we also use public restrooms. Sometimes I put a waterproof diaper cover over her cotton training pants if I'm worried about accidents, but I usually don't even bother.

Accidents are mostly not a really big deal, anyway. I can usually tell right away when she's peeing, and I can often pick her up and change her before she has a chance to get anything wet. (At home, we have hard floors downstairs and old carpet we want to replace upstairs, so if a little pee gets on the floor we just blot it up and don't worry about it too much.)

[layla]

No home births here. Four c-sections . But, what's done is done. We co-sleep...how many are in with us tonight? Don't vax (we've done some selective, but have since stopped), BF 'til they're done, which hasn't been that old, use cloth & disposables (Tushies), homeschool, use homeopathy, herbs, holistic approaches, but do treat with allopathic meds if absolutely necessary, are vegetarians who don't eat dairy, but do eat eggs and some fish, no refined sugar or fake stuff in our food, love to be outside, my babes never liked the sling much, probably cuz I wasn't that comfy with it, so I always just held them-you should see my arm muscles! I mean all day, every day! Do use the back pack for outings and hiking, they've all loved it. My babes love to be naked or in underwear, even if it's cold, my boys have REALLY long hair. No-one in may family raises their children like we do, but everyone is okay with it, and some even think it's pretty cool!

[FreeRangeMama]

Ds2 was born unassisted. Wish I knew better the first time around.

We did EC with ds1 (although at almost 3 he still hasn't "graduated" because "being wet and peeing in my underware makes me happy mama" :LOL) and we do it part-time with ds2.

Babywear, but not naked (although that would have been a good idea). I wear both at once sometimes, but not too often (35lbs ds1 and 23lb ds2 are just too heavy to wear together for too long).

I tandem nurse and will let them self-wean.

We will homeschool/unschool.

No vax.

Great big family bed until they choose to leave it on their own.

Veggie (we were vegan until recently).

No shampoo, almost no soap, no chemical cleaners.

No punishments.

Lots of naked time.

No haircuts (unless they ask, which ds1 does when its really hot).


It sounds 'weird' when you write it out, but I feel pretty normal. Or maybe everyone just thinks I beyond hope so they don't mention it anymore
:LOL

[siddie]

Well, I wimped out at birth and had an epidural but after that I came to my senses. No circ (they thought that very wierd in Nashville), co-sleeping, ebf, selective vax on my schedule. Tried to sling but it didn't work for us so used the Baby Bjorn. NO cow's milk, we drink rice milk and try to do as much organic as possible. No beef. No preschool until recently and I suspect we may be asked to leave because I don't agree that my ds should have to go 5 days a week but that's another post Lots of parent-child playgroups and really trying to do gentle discipline. NO character clothing, only 100% cotton. Naked time and bare feet when possible. Our home is very child centered.

[Leonor]

I'm afraid to have my child naked at home now because of the social worker doing surprise visits. I think it's so healthy for kids.


Daffodil, you're very relaxed with accidents. I only tried once outside and he peed in a shop and I freaked out. No wonder you're so sucessful