are we doing something wrong?

[walkinbluesmama]

I just read the No Cry Sleep Solution (LOVED IT!) and am doing my first 10-day trial of new sleep strategies with my almost 6 mo. old daughter. We are on day 5. At first it was going fairly well, now things seem to be backsliding. I am working on reducing the "suck to sleep" association since she loves to nurse for HOURS at bedtime, trying to get her down at night in a reasonable time period (an hour or two, instead of 3-4) and reducing night wakings if at all possible as she typically is up every 2-3 hours overnight. She is a breastfed baby and we do cosleep.

The irritating problem we've been experiencing the past few nights is she is so exhausted at bedtime, we do our routine of bath, book, nursing in bed- and she may doze for an hour or so nursing and then-BOOM. Wide awake. She wants to keep nursing while we are laying down, but when she is awake and antsy like that, she is usually pretty rough on me (biting, pulling the nipple, etc), so I detach her. My husband and I try to rock her, do gentle play, let her lay in her bassinet, etc to get her to wind down- which does work- but it usually takes a couple of hours, and by that time we are all exhausted and cranky.

We start our bedtime routine no later than 7pm, last night she was so tired I started it at 6:30. She is a good morning napper, not so great afternoon napper. I would say we get about 2-3 hours of napping out of her per day.

Are we doing something wrong?? Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep and stay asleep at bedtime??

thanks for your help. MDC has been a lifesaver for me as a new mom, particularly with nighttime parenting!

[LadyCatherine185]

Maybe try starting bedtime routine around 6? Waking every 2-3 hours is normal, and pretty good for 6 months old as well. You aren't doing anything wrong, trying to change baby's sleeping patterns is VERY difficult. If it is something you are dead set on, keep trying using the NCSS.

[akind1]

I wouldn't say you are doing anything wrong. For us, the morning, early afternoon naps are the best/longest. I have found that often DS will take a cat nap (30-45 min) around our dinner time, 6-7. then he will be up a good 2-4 hours. At the end of this stretch is when we put him down for the night. He goes down between 9-10 usually, and sleeps through until 3-4. he will nurse and go back to sleep until 7-8 a.m.

Is it possible she's just not really ready to go down for the night at 6:30/7? and just needs a little nap then? Just curious. I know plenty of parents with babies that sleep like 12 hours at night. I just don't have one of them.

[walkinbluesmama]

Both of your suggestions/feedback is helpful. I actually had both thoughts last night- should we be starting bedtime routine sooner? Am I waiting until she is strung out/overtired? Or perhaps she just needs a little nap around 5 or 6, then start the bedtime routine around 7 or 8? I kinda thought nap after 5pm was a big no-no, but if it works for some, maybe it will work for us.

I guess we'll keep experimenting. ARGH. Poor baby. I would like to be as consistent as possible for her, but it's hard to know what is the best routine TO be consistent!

[MamieCole]

I second the notion that 6:30-7 might be too early for bedtime. If you are spending 1-4 hours getting her down for the night, most likely she's not sleepy. Maybe just expect a nap in the late afternoon/early evening, then try bedtime around 8-9pm?

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by walkinbluesmama

I kinda thought nap after 5pm was a big no-no, but if it works for some, maybe it will work for us.

Ooops, posted at the same time.

But to address this, it's only a no-no if you have/need a strict bedtime because you have a strict wake-up time. If your life allows for it, I have found that following baby's cues for when to sleep (even if it isn't "typical") is the easiest route and makes everyone in the family happier. My boys don't go to sleep til after 9pm, usually closer to 10. Then sleep until 8:30-9am the next morning. But if you have to be up at a certain time to go to work, etc, then obviously this would not work.

Just do what works for your fam and ignore everyone else.

[walkinbluesmama]

thanks also for your reply! No, we don't need a strict bedtime/wake time, I was just kind of hoping for a little respite at the end of the day- baby in bed and time to spend with husband. Plus, isn't that what parents are "supposed" to do? Have a bedtime for their kids? Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself and my baby. We all do try to go to bed around 8 or 9pm b/c my husband needs to get up very early in the morning for work.

Perhaps I should be paying less attention to the clock and more to my baby's cues?? But how do I distinguish between I need a nap cue and bedtime cue?

thanks for all of your help and support!