I tried to read the whole thread before replying, but that just ISN'T going to happen.
I have to say that am astounded at the number of people saying that if their kids don't want to eat a meal, they are welcome to eat pb&j or yogurt. I consider those to be EXTREMELY unhealthy foods and yogurt is considered a dessert here. Even the organic yogurts that dd eats are chock-full of sugar. If they're not organic, they are full of artificial colors, flavors and HFCS, too. Same goes for peanut butter. It's full of sugar and partially hydrogenated oils, again unless organic. Even my homemade jam has more sugar than I'm going to give her of an evening. No way in hell would I let her pass up a healthy meal for those alternatives. She would go to bed hungry if those were the only things she'd choose instead.
Last night we had quesadillas and salsa for dinner. DD only wanted to eat the salsa and took maybe 2 bites of quesadilla. I told she was going to be hungry later, but she didn't care. An hour later she ate a huge bowl of yogurt and applesauce. I didn't care b/c she'd already had plenty of whole grains today and it doesn't matter to me if she gets dairy/protein in my having the cheese from dinner or yogurt an hour later. All I had to do was put the food in her bowl and she fed and cleaned up herself (she's only 20 months so there was no way I was going to let her spoon out her own yogurt).