waking up too close

[prone_to_wander]

Twice now, I've woken up right beside DS who is 2.5 weeks old. Like right beside. This morning, I woke up because he moved his head away from me.

I'm scared! Is this too close to you guys? We have him on his own special blanket in between us. He was gravitating towards me, so I rolled up some muslin for each side of him so he couldn't come to close to me and now I'm practically sleeping on top of him!

I could possibly order an arm's reach but who knows how long that'll take to get here.

I was thinking perhaps I should get a snugglenest.

I'm so scared of rolling on top of him. I'm normally a really light sleeper but because of the lack of sleep I feel like I'm sleeping much harder. Any suggestions? We don't have much space.

[fruitfulmomma]

I would not have any small blankets on or around him. They could tangle around his neck if they were moved or he could roll into them and not be able to move away.

As far as how close it too close, could you give more details? I mean I am right next to/against my babies all the time. But their faces are faced away from me. I usually feel more comfortable facing them outward on their side - my tummy to their back, with my arm above their heads.

The other thing I do is hold them on their backs with their head in the crook of my arm and me on my back.

[prone_to_wander]

We swaddle him and then I used the rolled up muslin like a back positioner. I position them down by his torso, not near his face. He also tends to move onto his side, so the muslin helps keep him on his back.

When I woke up this morning, he was on his back and his face was towards me and my tummy was by his face.

[fruitfulmomma]

When I woke up this morning, he was on his back and his face was towards me and my tummy was by his face.

How does he start out the night in relation to you? It sounds like you moved up quite a bit for his face to be at tummy level.

This is actually one of the reasons I prefer to face them out. I know, contradictory to current recommendations of back-to-sleep but then again they don't recommend bedsharing either.

I wouldn't panic. I think all bedsharing mommas have had moments like this. Some believe the fact that we wake up when this happens is proof that the mother-baby bonding is working properly. It is scary though.

Do make sure you are getting enough rest because being overtired can be a problem. This is one of the main reasons I started bedsharing. I was so exhausted getting up and down with my oldest that I was afraid I was just going to fall asleep and drop him wherever we were.

[Annie Mac]

Is close bad? I sleep with my baby (2 1/2 mo old) cradled in my arms facing me. I make sure her face is far from my body and I am very aware of her. It seemed to me the safest feeling way to sleep. Is this wrong?

[nola79]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma

The other thing I do is hold them on their backs with their head in the crook of my arm and me on my back.

This is what I do.

[SomethingAnonymous]

I've always slept with my kids right up against me. The baby probably did try to move closer to you. I sleep with my youngest facing me, with my arm under his neck/head like a pillow and his face is near my breast. I actually think the closer you are, the more aware of them you'll be.

[dziwozony]

My babies have always slept right against me, since they've fallen asleep after nursing. Sometimes I would scoot them away a bit, but especially in the early days, I would fall asleep while I was feeding them & only wake up hours later with neither of us having shifted position!

I know a lot of people like swaddling, but for me that would be a safety concern. Even when they're really little, babies can move their heads & arms to get more comfortable or shift into a safer position (say, if a blanket is on their face of if they roll onto their tummy)...at least, I noticed my babies doing this very early on. If they are fully swaddled, they would not be able to do this, you know?

[jenrett]

Originally Posted by dziwozony

My babies have always slept right against me, since they've fallen asleep after nursing. Sometimes I would scoot them away a bit, but especially in the early days, I would fall asleep while I was feeding them & only wake up hours later with neither of us having shifted position!

I know a lot of people like swaddling, but for me that would be a safety concern. Even when they're really little, babies can move their heads & arms to get more comfortable or shift into a safer position (say, if a blanket is on their face of if they roll onto their tummy)...at least, I noticed my babies doing this very early on. If they are fully swaddled, they would not be able to do this, you know?

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by dziwozony

Even when they're really little, babies can move their heads & arms to get more comfortable or shift into a safer position (say, if a blanket is on their face of if they roll onto their tummy)...at least, I noticed my babies doing this very early on. If they are fully swaddled, they would not be able to do this, you know?

Yes, I agree with this. I think swaddling worked well for my babies when they were not co-sleeping, but when they were in the bed I just left them loose.

[Llyra]

Mine always slept in direct contact with me. Mostly they slept facing me, with me on my side and them on their sides, facing me at breast level. That's because we mostly fell asleep with them nursing, and they'd just let go of the nipple when they hit deep sleep, but by then I was usually already asleep. We'd wind up with my head sort of just above their heads, sort of breathing right onto them. Anyway, I was always very comfortable with this way, because I was so extremely aware of them. I would definitely sleep soundly, but I'd wake in an instant if they made so much as a peep. Plus, I am thin and very small-breasted, so there's not much there to block a nose or a mouth. But I've never heard that it's unsafe for fleshier mamas to sleep next to their babies, either. What I HAVE heard is that face-to-face sleeping allows your exhaled breath to stimulate baby to breathe in. (This may be one reason why smoking increases risk-- because a smoker's exhaled breath isn't as "clean.")

I did keep my own covers down around my waist, and very far from baby, though. And I used only a very small flat pillow, and kept my arm between the pillow and the babies.

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by Llyra

Mine always slept in direct contact with me. Mostly they slept facing me, with me on my side and them on their sides, facing me at breast level. That's because we mostly fell asleep with them nursing, and they'd just let go of the nipple when they hit deep sleep, but by then I was usually already asleep. We'd wind up with my head sort of just above their heads, sort of breathing right onto them. Anyway, I was always very comfortable with this way, because I was so extremely aware of them. I would definitely sleep soundly, but I'd wake in an instant if they made so much as a peep. Plus, I am thin and very small-breasted, so there's not much there to block a nose or a mouth. But I've never heard that it's unsafe for fleshier mamas to sleep next to their babies, either. What I HAVE heard is that face-to-face sleeping allows your exhaled breath to stimulate baby to breathe in. (This may be one reason why smoking increases risk-- because a smoker's exhaled breath isn't as "clean.")

I did keep my own covers down around my waist, and very far from baby, though. And I used only a very small flat pillow, and kept my arm between the pillow and the babies.

Same here.

[dakotablue]

When I started co-sleeping with my son I was worried about rolling over as well. I did an 'experiment' accidentally. I leaned over him to turn off the light and he freaked out! This is what babies do to protect themselves so you will notice if for some reason you get too close. Try it!

I wouldn't swaddle a sleeping baby for this reason. If somehow the bed gets shifted and they are rolled over they can't lift themselves to turn their head and the can't fight off an 'attacker' like mine (then 2 week old, now 8 month old) did.

I will admit though, for the first month and a half I felt more comfortable with him on my chest then next to me, but then he started being able to roll off.

[Friday13th]

DS1 slept on his side wedged into my armpit with his face smooshed into my boob for pretty much his first 6 months of life. I actually worried more if he scooted away from me and I couldn't feel him breathing against me.

[party_of_seven]

I have co-slept with 5 kids now. All of them have slept like the last poster said....right in my armpit with their face smooshed into my boob. It's where they end up when the finish a feeding. We have never had a problem, and I wake up at the slightest sound or movement. It's amazing how aware of them you can be even when you are sleeping. I worry about them if I'm not physically touching them.

[Hokulele]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma

I usually feel more comfortable facing them outward on their side - my tummy to their back, with my arm above their heads.

The other thing I do is hold them on their backs with their head in the crook of my arm and me on my back.

That's what I did when mine were little. The other thing I did, was put their head at my head level, rather than down lower. I'd have my head on the pillow, but on the very edge, and they'd be in between my pillow and DH's pillow. This was both to keep my sheets from reaching their faces, but also because then if their head ended up against me, it would be against my face. (And for sure I'd wake up to that). That never lasted very long, every time they nursed they ended up back down near my chest.

[Hokulele]

BTW - this post is making me wish I had a new little baby to snuggle at night. My youngest just turned two. She's still in our bed, but she's all over the place now, feet in my face, head on DH's tummy, etc.

Once you get over that fear of hurting them when you sleep (and that fear IS a hurdle), it is the most most wonderful thing to snuggle that wee baby in the night. I can't believe so many parents don't cosleep.

Sorry... off topic, but this post is bringing it all back to me. *sigh* Enjoy it!!