Questioning EVERY direction I give

[JamieCatheryn]

DS (4) lately has started to ignore everything I ask of him, talking back about what he wants to do instead, at best asking for a full explanation before complying. He loves to know why of everything and when we have the chance to stop and chat about stuff I'll indulge it so he can learn, maybe be able to make decisions himself when called upon to do so. But often I have to say "do it now, and we'll talk later" but it does not work. A lot of times it's not dangerous, but simply rude (like not coming to dinner because he'd rather play computer). Often I NEED him to listen the first time, in the past 2 days some examples are when I asked him not to drop wooden blocks on me as he was about to, when I told him to get out of the road and stand on the sidewalk when we got out of the car, and when I repeatedly have to tell him put his baby brother down and don't squeeze his head. After, I point out the danger and how these things are the reason doing it right away is important but it falls on deaf ears. What do I do??

[mizzoh]

I have similar issues with my 4 yo. I find that the less I say, the more cooperation I get. For example, instead of telling him ( for the millionth time) to close the door because mosquitoes are getting in, I just say " bugs!". Another tactic I use is describing what I see instead of telling him to do ( or not do). Instead of "don't splash water on thr floor!" I will say "The floor is getting wet" ( and I have already explained to him why I don't like the floor wet). When you think about how many times a day we tell them that they need to do something ( or not do something) it's easy to see why they start ignoring us.

[quietserena]

Mine is not gonna be 4 until September but she does a fair amount of this too. I'm wondering if it isnt a stalling technique in addition to it being a request for explanation. I don't have any really good advice aside that it seems it is a phase.