Counseling for an 8yr old questions...

[yarngoddess]

Hi! I'm starting to think that my oldest DS needs some counseling. He has anxiety, OCD and some sensory problems, and other issues. He has the attitude of a pissed off 16yr old Often he's wonderfull, other times (a split second later) he's crying because of something small...

I worry about him starting counseling at this age. What kind of things are done at this age? I also worry about him getting counseling services through the county health department (we are on welfare), and worry about how much experience they have with children. We also HS and wonder how many HSing parents have their kiddo's in counseling and what their experiences are. Any input, personal experiences, advice or suggestions are much appreciated.

[Alenushka]

I would worry about not getting counseling and proper diagnosis. My son started like that. He has bipolar disorder. It was horrible at first, but with therapy, medication and proper education placement he is now an amazing teenager. In fact, it is because of therapy that he is considerate, hardworking and amazingly behave teenager.

Get an IEP at school as well.

My son was qualified for country mental health service. There were the greatest advocates for his placement at a private therapeutic school. It was god send.

I recommend family therapy too.

I hope you will find a job soon as you have better therapy choice with private insurance. (If insurance ever denies you, do not forget to mention an attorney and Mental Health Parity Act to them)

[*Lisa*]

I don't have experience with getting counseling through the county health department, but my almost 8 year old is in therapy for anxiety issues.... In her case, they taught her some strategies to use when she's feeling anxious (mostly relaxation and self-talk techniques). She put together a fear ladder with her therapist (with things that scared her a little at the bottom and things that scared her a lot on the top), and then they started exposing her to things going up the ladder. I suspect that similar therapy would be used for kids with OCD symptoms...

We homeschool, and that hasn't been an issue at all in therapy.

I hope you're able to find some help for your son!

[MindfulBirth]

I was hesitant to get counseling formy 7 1/2 yr old, but we've been going for 6 months now, and I'm glad we did it.

At this age, they are going to play. Puppets, sand tray, dinosaurs, draw pictures... No laying on a couch and venting about their mother, I promise!

My daughter is also on medicaid (considered "uninsurable" due to her condition), so we go to the local Parent Child Resource Center. Her counselor is an intern, but has been just the right fit for us.

I would say try it. If you don't feel that the counselor is a good fit, you can ask to be switched. If you don't feel that it is going well at all, you can always just move on.

Many county health dept's will also have parenting classes that you can take to help you deal with a "special needs" child if you feel you are not coping well at home or just want some other suggestions.

(((HUGS)))

[NightOwlwithowlet]

My 8 year old sees a therapist, we all do. Originally, it was due to anxiety and to help us parent better (he has ADHD, SPD, and some anxiety). She is wonderful and very supportive of our homeschooling. A lot of DS's issues are under control, but I'm pretty sure 11-17 years old will be tough for him so I want him to have a therapist he knows and trusts. At worst, it is another loving and supportive adult in his life.

He did see another therapist who was very pro medication for his ADHD and wanted a second medication for anxiety and a third med to help him sleep. I'm not anti med, but this was crazy. This therapist was very anti homeschooling, DS was in school at the time. When I floated the idea, he told me it was "the worst possible thing" we could do. He was well intended, but very much about adults as authority figures. He also spent a lot of time telling if we didn't do things his way, DS was pretty much doomed. I realized he and I had philosophical differences that couldn't be resolved. Then we found this therapist through another home schooler. We all love her.

[Oubliette8]

I just wanted to add that around here, you can get counseling from private therapists if you're on medicaid, although you might have to search a little to find one who takes it. Our county counseling center is pretty good, although also seems to promote medications fairly often. I imagine it might vary on the quality of county services depending where you live- although you can find bad therapists in private practice as well.

[yarngoddess]

Thanks everyone! Your support and insight into the world of child psychology is interesting. I will be doing some research into how experienced they are with kids, and then make our decision after we move. This is such a hard step to take, as I don't want to make his life harder than it already is- especially if he's in a place that's not good for him- ya know? Like, if he's not getting something out of this counseling, I don't want to have him pay for it for years or even months. He holds on to these "mistakes" and internalizes them- even if the fault isn't with him. I'm just nervous, this isn't something I can really "help" him with, and it's intimidating.

[Starflower]

My DD just turned 7 and we took her to a therapist this past winter for anxiety. Our insurance ran out after 6 visits. The therapist we found was very friendly with homeschooling. She did play therapy with DD - it was the only way DD would speak to her. Sometimes we'd all be there as a family and other times, DD would be with the therapist on her own. She liked her.

I actually think DD would do better with more therapy and am going to call and see if we can continue to see her using DH's insurance for family counseling.

You seem concerned about getting a counselor that is a bad fit. If you do, you will need to find someone else. It can seem overwhelming. I hemmed and hawed for a few months before finally calling someone. I thought I found the right one, but she wasn't taking new patients. However, she was the one in the office who helped match people. There are also therapist who will do meet and greet type things so you can get an idea if they might be a good match or not. The therapist we went with called me back on the phone and we chatted for half an hour before she decided could probably help us and I decided to make an appointment. Then we had to wait a few weeks to get in. I feel like she is a good fit for our family, even though I was worried at first because we are rather non-traditional in many ways.

FWIW, I wish my parents had had the knowledge and tools to take me to therapy when I was young. I have OCD, depression and panic disorder and sensory problems myself. Mostly it's under control now, but I think it would have helped me a lot to have had knowledgeable support when I was young.

Good luck.