I can't do it anymore

[memz]

I wrote a big post and lost it all.....So here I go again...my DD used to sleep fairly well during the night, 5-6 hour stretch and then every 3 hours. Then around 3 and a half months the dreaded 4 months sleep regression started. So it was every 3 hours, then every 2. Then it came back up to 3 hours. She was moving so much that she would wake herself up with her arms, so we restarted swaddling her which helped a bit. She would do a 4 hour and then every 3. Now for the past 2 weeks it's a 3 hour and the every hour and a half or 2. On top of it she used to be up for the day between 7h30-8h30, now it 6h00

Last night was the absolute worst. I nursed her at 8h30 and she went down at 9h30. She was up at midnight and then 1h20, 2h15, 3h50 and then 4h30 and would not go back to sleep. Finally I was able nurse her back to sleep around 5h30 and she slept for 3 hours but waking up every so often so I would just switch her from side to side.

I don't know what to do...I am beyond tired. We cosleep, but I usually can't nurse her side lying during the night because she just starts kicking and flailing her arms everywhere. So I usually sit up nurse her and lay her back down beside me. Hubby is not here for 2 weeks so that is not helping. I can't really sleep during the day because she will only sleep ON ME and for 30-40 minutes at a time.

Now of course everyone is telling us to CIO which I don't want to do but I don't know what to do at this point...I just get sooo angry during the night. And for the record she doesn't always nurse to sleep. So if she wakes up after an hour or so she doesn't really want to nurse because she pulls off so I just take her in my arms and walk a bit and she's out fairly quickly....

I know it'll pass.....but when I can't do this for a couple months...I'm already so tired I sometimes cry in the morning

Sorry for the rant, I don't know what I'm looking for, experiences, solutions....arghhhh

[Abraisme]

I don't have any advice really, but that is the same sleep pattern my DD has. However, I can nurse her while laying down and stay semi-asleep. I would say that my DD woke up at least 4 times last night, I often stop counting or looking at the clock. I think that waking a lot is actually more common than kids that sleep through the night. All of my friends have babies that wake up every few hours.

Good luck, I know it's hard to cope when you're tired.

[star*mora]

no specific advice either, but just want you to know you aren't alone and i go through the same frustrations at times (ds2 went from sleeping 6-7hr stretches to every 45min - 1.5hrs now). yes it will pass, but man is it hard when you are living through it. ds1 also had rough patches with sleeping - he's 3 now and has been a great sleeper since he was about 18mths, so i look to that for hope in my situation

so sorry mama, it's so hard to feel positive when you are exhausted.

[greeny]

It's so rough!

If you can, keep working on the side-lying nursing.

My 9.5 month old sleeps with me and wakes several times during the night still, but I can nurse lying down, so I barely wake up. If I had to be actually getting/sitting up all night, I'd be miserable.

Hope things improve soon!

[miami mommy]

Originally Posted by greeny

It's so rough!

If you can, keep working on the side-lying nursing.

My 9.5 month old sleeps with me and wakes several times during the night still, but I can nurse lying down, so I barely wake up. If I had to be actually getting/sitting up all night, I'd be miserable.

Hope things improve soon!

I think I'd go crazy if I couldn't nurse lying down. It makes a world of difference. The other thing that helps me is that DH and I have a deal that I take care of DS when he wakes up during the night (he nurses back to sleep easily), then when DS is up for the day at 6 or 7 am, DH takes him and I get an extra hour or two of blissful sleep. When your DH gets back you should get him to help more with your DD so you can get a decent nap each day.

[Super~Single~Mama]

!!!!!

Deep breaths! How often is she nursing during the day? Can you take her into a quiet room, turn the lights off, and get some good long nursing sessions in every 2-3hours during the day?

When my son was going through sleep regressions at that age, that really helped. Even when we were out and about, if I knew he was getting hungry (he did every 2-3hours) I would find a place to sit down, let him get used to the surroundings, and then he would usually nurse really well. That helped, but did not eliminate the night wakings (I would get a few 3-4hour stretches of sleep every night).

It doesn't last forever, take naps with him if you can, or find someone to take him while you nap! You'll be fine! The phrase I always use to remind myself how brief all these stages are is "the days are long but the years are short" - I can't believe that my son is 17mo now b/c I remember being where you are like it was yesterday! Truly, this too shall pass!

[Knitting Mama]

Can you try swaddling her and then side nursing? My almost 3 month old is swaddled for all night sleeps and a few naps here and there when she's really fussy. She gets kind of pissy when she's first swaddled, but once she's latched on it's like the magic relax button. We use SwaddleMe blankets for easy swaddling.

Here's how our night routine goes: I get her into jammies, clean diaper and swaddle around 9. We nurse on the couch in our usual way until she's asleep, and then we move to the bed. Throughout the night, I side nurse her, and flip over once to get the other boob drained. We're generally up around 5 or 5:30. When I free her from her swaddle, she does the cutest grin-and-grunt-and-stretch routine for about 5 minutes.

I hope this helps!

[HeliMom]

like PP mentioned sidelying nursing is a godsend!
also napping during the day!

one thought not mentioned:
maybe she hates having a wet diaper? My LO will not sleep is she has to go, she hates wet diapers so we go diaper free at night and keep a potty near the bed. When she rouses I comfort her stick her on the potty and back to sleep we go. Figuring this out really helped me feel less frustrated by the night wakings.

[memz]

Thanks for all the suggestions...So here goes she nurses every 2-3 hours during the day and since she naps on me on top of her regular feed she does get a bit of milk while comfort nursing. So I'm sure she gets enough during the day. Also I have tried side nursing while she is swaddled and she is not happy trying to fight it off the whole time.

As for napping during the day, like I said she naps on me so can't sleep then and I have no family nearby to help. Hubby does let me sleep in on the weekends even if he wakes up as much has I do during the night but during the week he leaves for work at 6h30....

I would love to just be able to nursing while laying down, but for some reason she is restless that way....arggghhhh

[BeckyBird]

I know everybody here is not a fan of letting the baby cry it out. But, in your case, I think letting her cry a little is better than letting things get to the point where you are tired and angry.

This is what you can try....put her to bed a little later than usual, so she is really tired by bedtime. Then, at night when she wakes up, you lie there next to her. Change her if needed, and try to nurse lying down with the lights out. Keep it dark in the room. If she still wants to get up, just lie there next to her. She might start to cry at this point, but as long as you are right there next to her, rubbing her for comfort, then she will not feel abandoned.

I'd let her cry for just a few minutes, then hold her for a little, still in bed in the dark. Then put her back down and try to nurse and get her to sleep. After a while, she might get the idea that it is bedtime. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting the baby cry a little bit, if you are right there next to her.
This is what I have tried with my daughter, and we only had a few sleepless nights, around 2 months old. I didn't let her cry for long periods, but I'd let her cry a little, then soothe her, put her back down, cry again, etc. Until she got tired of the cycle and went to sleep. We cosleep, so it's not like I put her in a crib and left her there all alone to cry. Whenever she cried, I was always right there, rubbing her back.
Some people think that letting a baby cry at all is wrong. I don't feel that way. When I am sad, I like to cry. It is a release. Just my opinion, but I did this with my second child, and both she and I get a full night's rest. We have been for months. I wish I tried the method with my first child. I remember that I didn't get a good night's sleep for the first 6 months. It was awful.

[loulie]

You poor thing... I do have a suggestion but again it's just my opinion and may not be a popular one ... But in my view better than CIO. Have you considered giving a bit of baby rice? I know all the advice says to wait until 6 months, but I have introduced a small amount of pure baby rice with dd2 who s 4 months and it has made the world of difference to her sleeping. I did the same with dd1, when 'they' all said to start weaning at 4 months and so whilst I tried to wait longer with dd2, my exhaustion had to be a factor that was considered, as I was becoming no good to either of them...

Whatever you decide, I hope things improve soon for you

[Knitting Mama]

Why can't you sleep during the day when she naps on you? That's how Cecilia and I take all our naps. She sleeps for 1-2 hours in her swing in the morning; otherwise all naps and longer sleeps are on me or in my husband's arms.

[Tattooed Hand]

I know exactly how you feel. I was there last month with my DD who woke every 1-2 hours for 3 solid weeks. Before that I was getting at least one 3 hour block before she went to every 1-2.5 hours. But the loss of that REM cycle was killing me. And I was visiting my (totally unhelpful) mom so I didn't even have DH's help. It's really really hard.

I followed the advice of the No Cry sleep solution and I got her to start taking naps alone and started breaking the association between sleep and nipple in the mouth. We still nurse down for naps and bedtime, but I remove my nipple from her mouth when she's done eating and sleepy, but not asleep. In the beginning she would root around for it like 3-4 times and I would always give it back to her and then take it out again soon after. Now I can usually get it out on the first try and she will snuggle down and sleep. After a few minutes, I slip away and she naps for 1-2 hours this way. It took 3-4 weeks before I began seeing results. But if you want to avoid CIO, this is the way to go.

We're still working on her nighttime sleep, and some nights it's still every 2-3 hours, but some nights she only wakes up 1 or 2 times in a 10 hour block, which is fine with me (though I side lie nursing).

Another note on nursing lying down - I am convinced she slept badly at my mom's house because she was uncomfortable on the too soft mattress. We went to a friend's recently and she slept really well there and their bed is harder than ours. (For this reason I am thinking of getting a harder one). I think she is more disturbed by my movements on a softer mattress.

I hope you get some relief soon!

[MamaChicken]

With my twins, I reached the point you are at. Angry, irritable, falling asleep while driving and in meetings. Horrible! Like a PP, I started letting them cry, with me right there loving on them, patting their backs. It got worse before it got better, but within 10 days there was dramatic improvement.

On laying down while nursing, both boys wanted to latch at once and I learned to nurse while I lay on my back, a boy on each side. Each one was cradled in my arms to prevent the startle reflex and to support their heads a little higher. Took a little practice.

[memz]

Thank you all for your support, it helped to have people to talk too that understand since I'm alone for the next 2 weeks. I feel a bit better this morning, we had a better night last night, still woke up 4x, but she just fell right bach asleep and woke up at 8 instead of 6.

So I guess it'll be a hit or miss for a while. And when it's harder I'll try out your suggestions..

Thanx again ladies