10 m.o. startles himself awake/ screams in his sleep constantly- any ideas? In danger of losing...

[mouso]

And here I thought my DD was the worst sleeper ever with her all-night nursing and inability to sleep over 45 minutes straight for YEARS.
We now have a new winner! DS, 10 months, will barely sleep alone. Sometimes (rarely, so rarely) I get 40 minutes- much of the time I get 5. This is the time after I put him to sleep but am not in bed myself.
Problems may be:

1. We cosleep and he sleeps fairly well with me, only nurses a couple of times all night. I have been watching him the past few nights and it seems he's sleeping and then all of a sudden his arms and legs flail and he jumps- and starts crying. I'll get him back down and he'll do it again in 1, 2, 3 minutes, until I just hold him.

2. I don't know if the above is what it always is- he cries a lot in his sleep and even when he seems soundly asleep he will suddenly just start wailing inconsolably (even when he's on me at times).

3. He also will rub his eyes and move all around while sleeping- and wake himself up. Or start writhing and crying, but doesn't seem gassy. There have been nights of teething but now it's been every night for months.

I have no idea what to do. I am so frustrated at this point, I spend all evening holding him and can barely pee when I need to. I now have chronic back pain as he is also high need during the day, and often needs carrying and he's 26 pounds(!) of (undeniably delicious) but wiggling, angry baby!
Did I mention I am the only person on earth who can stop him crying when he's 1/2 awake and screaming like this? And it's not even that he wants to nurse.

Anyway, much like my brain, this post is all over the place. Any ideas? I am seriously debating tummy sleeping but I am super neurotic about it. Will it help with flailing?
Maybe a straitjacket? For one of us, at least.
Help, please! Thank you!

Help me sleep, Mamas!

[Maluhia]

Night terrors?
Eliminatin diet?

[Chamomile Girl]

Awesome picture!

Ok, my kid did this for awhile too...at the same age. Then it stopped (although his ability to be put to sleep got super-crappy instead). I think it has to do with milestones...like the more that your baby is trying to do the more they have to process at night. 10 months is a time for huge milestone; leaps in neuralogical development and often an accompanying physical leap. Some babes will actually practice their skills while asleep, and some instead have intense dreams.

I'll tell ya the few times my kid did this it scared the begeebies out of me. Now he just rolls all over the bed...when I can get him to sleep at all. Sigh.

[mouso]

Hmm... I did cut out dairy & soy for about a month a few months ago- nothin'!

My DD had a few bouts with night terrors and they seemed a bit different, although sometimes the screaming out of a deep sleep while still half asleep reminds me of them in that aspect- but the sheer terror screams aren't there. It's more like he is really mad he's awake and wants to be asleep, yk?

Maybe I should try the full-on elim diet? Sigh, I love food so much...

[mouso]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl

Awesome picture!

Ok, my kid did this for awhile too...at the same age. Then it stopped (although his ability to be put to sleep got super-crappy instead). I think it has to do with milestones...like the more that your baby is trying to do the more they have to process at night. 10 months is a time for huge milestone; leaps in neuralogical development and often an accompanying physical leap. Some babes will actually practice their skills while asleep, and some instead have intense dreams.

I'll tell ya the few times my kid did this it scared the begeebies out of me. Now he just rolls all over the bed...when I can get him to sleep at all. Sigh.

Thanks!
Yeah, he's crawling and "dada"ing and trying to cruise, etc. He also has a flip-out about going to sleep even though he's exhausted. Sometimes I have to squirt milk into his mouth and then he's like "Oh yeah, Boobs!"
I was thinking about milestones but you would think after a couple of months of this he would even out and sleep- at least 2 hours or something! Oy. I'm sure you're right and that's part of it at least, maybe now he's in the habit of waking?

[mouso]

ATM he is tummy down on the couch next me (extremely firm couch plus I'm right here). Maybe if it seems to help I will get brave enough to put him in bed like that.
He can crawl, so that might make tummy sleeping a bit safer, no?

[Maluhia]

For me, when they could crawl, I was okay with it. I kept less blankets up high though.

[LadyCatherine185]

What a CUTIE!!!

At 10 months I would be more than ok with putting him on his belly. If he can crawl/roll he will be fine, IMO. We started putting DS down on his belly around 5 months (he was crawling by 6 months so a little ahead developmentally) and it helped him sleep by himself for longer stretches (first part of the night). Also, can you nurse and roll away? Have you tried blackout curtains and white noise?

My DS was a terrible sleeper as well, woke every hour or more for the first year of his life (around 8 months it was every 15-30 minutes most nights) and then every 1-2 hours (with the occasional 3 hour stretch) from 12-18 months. Some babies/children just have a harder time settling than others, and need more help sleeping. With my DS, a lot of it coincided with teething. Plus I think he got into the pattern of nursing with each wakeup, and his body got used to getting those calories around the clock. Around 18/19 months (due to pregnancy, cavities, and I was DONE being sleep deprived) we started nightweaning. It was the best decision I've ever made. It really made me realize that some kids (when they can understand and are old enough to handle it) really do need firmer boundaries and help towards indepenance. We did a slower version of Jay Gordon, and saw no tears. Just a little fussing. The longest he stayed awake after me telling him "no more milkas, go to sleep" was probably 2 minutes. The kid who woke every hour (and would stay latched on from 4-6 AM each morning! ) started sleeping 3-5 hour stretches. We then moved him to his own bed, and had DH start taking over nighttime.. He started sleeping 6-10 hour stretches every night!

it will get better. All on its own, or you can wait until he is able to handle some changes and make those changes. I would check out the book Sleepless in America.. it has some great strategies for structuring your daytime routines, etc to help maximize nighttime sleep as well.

Also, it sounds like your DS is a very light sleeper. Have you tried blackout curtains and white noise? What about sidecarring a bed/mattress so that he is still right beside you but can't feel you move as much?

[mouso]

Thanks, ladyCath. I totally understand- my DD sounds like your DS. We nightweaned around the same time and it finally made her able to sleep 3 hours straight (although at 3.5 that's pretty much still all she'll sleep without waking). And that 3 hours didn't happen until she was over 2.

My DS has me puzzled b/c there seems to be no rhyme or reason. 1 minute, 20 minutes, screaming, startling, nursing, not nursing... DD at least woke up, nursed, 40 minutes sleep, woke up, nursed, 40 minutes, etc.

I agree, he is a very light sleeper and very sensitive to noise. We do use dark and noise machines, sleeping bags (he seems to sleep marginally better in those). He dislikes swings, hates carseats, etc. So those don't work.
Even on me he will start crying in his sleep. sigh.

I'm trying tummy, I think. He seemed to settle easier when he startled 800 times last night. Even cried out and settled again with no help! Now I need a video monitor b/c I'm completely insane- I saw one on Craigslist.

[LadyCatherine185]

Yes, my DS used to do the random cry outs, wake up hysterical, try to stay latched on for hours, etc. I never really found a rhyme/reason to it and always assumed teething. He did however have reflux and food allergies/intolerances. Have you looked into those? I think my DS was able to sleep better (as in, sleep for an hour or two, wake up and nurse and go back to sleep) once he outgrew those. I never quite got it right, but he is still sensitive to dairy. We did have to put him on medication for the reflux (Prevacid worked a miracle) because he was refusing to nurse (even refused bottles, syringes, etc) and would scream through every feeding. I would seriously look into the reflux and allergies. Also, DS never spit up, which is why it took me so long to figure out that the screaming was because of reflux. He had "silent" reflux, where he would swallow the acid back down.

[penstamon]

Not sure what the night screams are but my DS would do that too pretty frequently up until ~9 mo or so and then they kind of fizzled out. He does practice his skills in his sleep, as Chamomile Girl noted, and he often wakes crying because he is standing or crawling. He is a beautiful child and I wish I had answers for you. DS is a very light sleeper too and on nights that he seems to thrash a lot and wake even more frequently I try to get him in his crib (next to out bed) for at least a few hours and we might end up with 2-3 hours of sleep.