Please calm my fears about home-schooling!

[Mebsy]

Our plan has always been to put our kids in public school, despite the fact that my husband was home-schooled and loved it, because I just have always assumed it was not something I could do. Our oldest is approaching kindergarten this fall and all the sudden I'm getting cold feet and just have an uneasy feeling about it. I've been thinking about home-schooling and I really think I might want to do it. I have some fears about it though that are giving me a lot of anxiety. First of all, I am most worried that I am going to feel extremely tied down to the kids, being here with them all day, every day. I have sorta looked forward to having a little extra time when the kids go to school, so now when I consider that I won't have that for like 15 years, it kind of freaks me out. I'm worried I have have 0 time to myself to do the things I enjoy. I know it sounds selfish, but I just really need some time to myself for my sanity. I am barely making it through my days right now with my 5 year old and 2 year old. Thinking about this being my life day in and day out for the next 15 years is really scary to me.
I'm also worried about having to re-learn all the stuff I have forgotten in order to teach it. Long division, for example.....holy moly, I never thought I'd have to even think about that ever again in my life, and that's only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to all the math I'll have to know to get the kids through high school.
And what about being prepared for college? How can I know I have prepared them enough? And speaking of college....our plan has been that I would work part-time when they go to school and all of that money would be saved for college. If we home-school that means I will never earn a dime and it's daunting to think about finding a way to save so that they can go to college when we finally finish all this.

Does anyone have anything that could help ease my fears about these things? I've been tossing and turning the last few nights, thinking about this stuff.

[chfriend]

First thing, you're not looking at 15 years...because they really do grow up enough that you can comfortably leave them with trusted carers, then by themselves.

Second thing, long division is a good ways off and there are so many resources and good advice that when you get there...it's a snap to get it rocking and rolling. You can always hire out the subjects that you don't enjoy.

Third thing, what's working now? What's not working now? It's just not that different to "homeschool" a kindergartener than to have playful learning with a preschooler. Lean on what's working now; shore up what's not working.

What did your husband love about homeschooling? What did he not love? How does he want to be involved now?

[AllieFaye]

I've been rereading John Taylor Gatto to gear up for the fall term. He's great about reassuring me and diminishing any hesitation that might flicker through my mind.

[LilyGrace]

The life you have now is not the life you will have for the next 15 years. Children change so much, and they do sprout wings and start to discover their own interests and passions.

I have hs'd for the past 4 years. Wow, it sounds weird to write that. 4 years. There's been ups and downs, learning curves...but I wouldn't trade it. I find I have more time now than I did when he was in public school. I don't have to rush everyone out the door, drop off here and there, pick up a few hours later, rush home for homework and dinner before scouts/sports/etc, hurry everyone into bed and take half an hour to relax before collapsing myself. Not to mention always being available for the inevitable half days/hurt child calls/teacher conferences..

Even so, I found I had to carve out "me" time. I joined a social group that met once a month. I made it a weekly standing that I would go out with friends or myself, without kids in tow. I needed a break. Dh and I had date nights, even if it meant not leaving the house. 8pm, bedtime or reading time, depending on the age, and mom and dad date time on the sofa.

And I don't know everything. And I don't care that I don't know everything. That's not what homeschooling is about. To us, it is the home taking charge of educational decisions. That means that for learning a foreign language, I don't have to speak it. I just need to find my son the resources and/or teacher. I don't need to be a math expert. We have extended family that each has a perspective and willing to teach, we have a math curriculum with a video and manipulatives to help, we have online classes and others in the community that I can reach out to. My job is to help guide and provide. It's not to be a walking encyclopedia.

Our plans for college involve scholarships and junior college to start out with. Being able to pay for it all would be nice, but that's not going to be in our future. So we make do.


Everyone does it their own way. You'll find yours.

[pigpokey]

I think you do need to carve out me time. Many of the moms around here (regardless of schooling choice) seem to rely on gym childcare rooms like at the Y. You could use that for a few years ... just to chill on a couch and read if you don't want to participate in a class or work out by yourself.

Really they do become more independent.

Mine are 5 and 6 and are going into 1st / 2nd. Although I am generally aware that there are going to be many opportunities in later grades for them to study with professional teachers as home schooled students, and I am generally aware that if they follow an independent track for precollege in their teen years I will need to do a nice portfolio, I do not need to do a lot of planning beyond : today, next week, next school year. I mean I needed to sit down and plan for the summer season because the class times / practice times / etc all change and then I will need to bang out a schedule for the fall by August. I have to make decisions like, will I make my son start choir with his sister or let him do what he wants to do (that is, not do choir). I do not need to decide where and how they will be doing trig and calculus, though I assure you you can affordably buy or subscribe to computer programs and paper based programs to do that.

It will get easier. 2 year olds can be very needy.

[Mebsy]

Thank you, everyone, for the thoughts!