What would you say?

[BetsyS]

My first cousin's wife had a baby about 10 months ago. We're friendly enough, and we enjoy talking to each other on Facebook.

She was unable to breastfeed. I don't know all the details, but I know that the baby was full time on formula when he was a week old because "she didn't have enough milk."

She has ended up parenting a bit differently from me--went on a date with her dh, leaving the baby at 6 weeks old for several hours, she found baby-wearing too hard, she left her baby overnight for 2 weekends in a row at 9 months old, etc. Not that these things are *wrong*, just they are different from how I've chosen to do things.

Today, she posted an article on FB about primary lactation failure, and how it happens to "lots of women". I don't know if I should say something, or if it's worth it, you know?

For us, breastfeeding has been easy. My milk came in with #1 at 5 days old, with #2 at 3 days old, and with #3 at 2 days old. Sure, they nursed every hour until the milk came in, and they nursed every 2 hours after that for the first little while. But, I always somehow just thought it was normal, and I've never questioned my milk supply. In fact, I've asked lots of friends how they knew that their milk was low, and much like they all say they "just knew", I've never questioned my supply, and I've always "just known" that I've had enough milk. I had thrush one time, and other than that, no problems. My older boys both self weaned at 18 months (when I was pregnant again).

So, no problems on my side, and I'm concerned that whatever I say won't be well received because I had such an easy road to it, you know?

So.....what would you say, if anything?

[spughy]

I wouldn't say anything against it unless there were provably incorrect statements in the article. Unfortunately, the way that birth is managed in most hospital situations makes it more rather than less likely that women *will* have trouble breastfeeding. All you need for primary lactation failure in many cases is a very small amount of retained placenta, which happens more frequently than you'd think, especially with medicated births, or impatient OBs who might give the cord a wee tug just to hurry things along, or if the baby is whisked away and not allowed to suckle, causing insufficient oxytocin release in the mother AND later problems nursing, which in turn has a negative effect on milk production. If you follow that up with a general lack of knowledge of and interest in breastfeeding on the part of the hospital staff, gp, and pediatrician, failure is pretty predictable. What you *could* comment on, and I would advise it, is that many lactation problems are preventable with good birth practices, or treatable following an unavoidably unfortunate birth, and how important it is for hospital staff especially to have good training in lactation, especially the huge impact that the initial post-birth latch has, and the negative effects of any bottles in the first few weeks.

As lactivists, one of our goals should be for women who did not succeed with breastfeeding to STOP blaming themselves or their bodies, and to start looking at the processes and procedures embedded in our hospitals and the lack of education on the part of doctors and nurses as a cause.

[jessjgh1]

What article was it? Could you post a link to the direct article? It might be more helpful to see what the article was and respond directly to that- or provide an alternate article. True failure shouldn't happen to a "lot" of women although there are a lot of reasons that the system fails to support women.
Is she going to have more children? Is she maybe wondering if it would be as hard again, or assuming she can't breastfeed ever?
I'm sure there might be ways to respond and still be sensitive to her needs and I can see some value in making sure she is getting (and spreading) good information.

Jessica

[chiropractic4kids]

I would love to see the article, too. I was "unable to breastfeed" both of my boys... DS1 was born at 36 weeks, peaceful, unmedicated, no interventions, DH "caught" him, laid him on my chest, put to the breast to snuggle, nursed within 20 minutes. He did, however, suffer a premature clamping of his cord. I had to induce my supply with Reglan, it never came in on its own, supplemented at breast with SNS from day 3, he had completely refused nursing at 8 months. He was born at 6 pounds and by week 3 was still 5 pounds, 7 ounces, had severe jaundice issues (2 hospital stays) which were complicated by his lack of food (my lack of milk). We went through a whole host of herbs, tonics, rounds of Reglan, etc. with no real success. I was determined to succeed with DS2.

DS2 was born at 40w0d, at home, same birth experience as DS1 except no idiot there to clamp the cord before we determined it was time (an hour later). DS2 was 10 pounds, 4 ounces, happy nurser, super strong. Day 3 he was 9 pounds 7 ounces, weak, fussy, had to supplement again, I was NOT happy. Luckily I had saved 5 ounces of my milk from DS1 - nearly 3 years later, it thawed fine! I also got milk from an overproducing friend whose DD was 3 weeks older than my DS2 and I started on Domperidone in addition to another carnival of herb and supplement experiments... We have since received milk from 6 other women, and I was comletely weaned from the dom at 8 months postpartum. He was supplemented at the breast, no pacis or bottles for the first 3 months, I pumped, supplemented, and nursed on demand 24/7. Now he gets about a bottle a week of either my saved milk or donor milk and eats 3 POUNDS of food a day in addition to nursing on demand. At 11 months he is only 18 1/2 pounds but healthy, thriving, and never had any artificial milk. My kids are just skinny kids - tall and big-headed, but skinny.

I have taken every herb/supplement and drug known to induce or support lactation except for shatavari root powder, spent hours consulting with 7 different lactation consultants, read every book known to them on breastfeeding, and spent far more on LC consults, doctor's visits, and blood work than I ever would have spent on formula. My license plate is a breast cancer awareness plate that says "BRSTFD". The back of my car says "Normalize Breastfeeding, Nurse in Public", "Affordable healthcare begins with breastfeeding", "reduce your risk, breastfeed your children" (with a pink ribbon), HOMEBIRTH, and of course, the international breastfeeding logo.

I tell anyone who will listen about how wonderful breastfeeding is. It is my child's birthright, but it has not in any way come easy to me. I have struggled through more challenges with nursing than any other breastfeeding mom I know, but I will not give up. My children want to nurse, it is my responsibility as their mother to make it happen. I will nurse my son for as long as HE wants to nurse, regardless of what I have to do to put milk in my breasts. I am a lactivist who was "unable to breastfeed".

[Maisea]

Here is a great article that you could send her, that talks about lactation failure (from a accurate, pro-bf stance). I think someone whose baby was on formula at 1 week but is still thinking about bf a year later probably is regretful of the decision. Being sympathetic may help her approach you in the future if she were to want to try to bf again.

http://bfmed.wordpress.com/2010/04/2...n-doesnt-work/

[Laneybug]

Originally Posted by chiropractic4kids

I have taken every herb/supplement and drug known to induce or support lactation except for shatavari root powder, spent hours consulting with 7 different lactation consultants, read every book known to them on breastfeeding, and spent far more on LC consults, doctor's visits, and blood work than I ever would have spent on formula. My license plate is a breast cancer awareness plate that says "BRSTFD". The back of my car says "Normalize Breastfeeding, Nurse in Public", "Affordable healthcare begins with breastfeeding", "reduce your risk, breastfeed your children" (with a pink ribbon), HOMEBIRTH, and of course, the international breastfeeding logo.

I tell anyone who will listen about how wonderful breastfeeding is. It is my child's birthright, but it has not in any way come easy to me. I have struggled through more challenges with nursing than any other breastfeeding mom I know, but I will not give up. My children want to nurse, it is my responsibility as their mother to make it happen. I will nurse my son for as long as HE wants to nurse, regardless of what I have to do to put milk in my breasts. I am a lactivist who was "unable to breastfeed".