breastfeeding until 8 y.o....?????

[P.J.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R...eature=related

I'm curious what you all think about this short (4 min) video about a woman who's still BFing her 8 y.o. daughter.

So, should there be a limit, or is this alright? Everyone says that children can naturally self-wean, but apparently it doesn't always happen as soon as we'd think!

I found this a bit weird and disturbing, but hey live and let live, right? I wonder, though, for myself what this means. I am a new mom, my DS is only 4 weeks, and I would like to BF him at least 2 years and let him lead the weaning process. However, I will certainly not let it go on 8 years!!! But, what's the limit? I'll have to wait and see how I feel about it then, but I would say after the third year I might say enough's enough, I don't know though.

Your thoughts / experiences?

[PatioGardener]

nak

i think it is a beautiful story of a mother who is meeting the needs of her children. every child is unique. some have to be coaxed to breastfeed until 2 years old, others self wean at 3,4,5 etc years old. it is just the same with other types of nuturing - for example my brother stopped asking for bed time stories when he could read at 4 yrs old, but i asked for them until i was 9, even though i could (and did) read chapter books to myself.

congratulations for you baby! mine is 8 weeks old and i can't imagine him being 1 never mind 8 years old! i plan to nurse him until at least 2 years old, and then until he doesn't need to anymore

[hillymum]

I did end up weaning ds when he turned 4 because I had just had enough of a monkey hanging off my breasts so much of the time. Two years before that I thought 3yrs was beyond my comfort zone. Eight is way too long in my opinion but honestly, if it's behind closed doors what does it matter. It's not hurting anyone.

[lifeguard]

There was a time when I didn't think there was any way I would go past one year. I always knew I would breastfeed & very much looked forward to it but it was only for "babies". Now I'm not sure when we will stop. When I look down at his big brown eyes looking trustingly up at me he is still just my baby. I don't think that will change anytime soon.

I no longer try to predict how I will feel about something I haven't reached yet.

[AllyRae]

It's beyond my own personal comfort zone, but I look at my 6 1/2 year old DS and he's such a big kid to me...reading, writing, having his own circle of friends, having "girlfriends" (as he calls them), and planning his playdates. I just can't see nursing a child who is old enough to do all of that. He has other ways to self-soothe and to be comforted, and he doesn't need nursing anymore. Nor would I be comfortable with nursing him if he asked, especially if he was 2 years older (he'd be entering the 3rd grade in 2 years!) He nursed until he was 3 1/2, and that was old enough for him and for me.

I don't believe in putting upper limits on nursing--just because it's past my comfort level means it should be that way across the board. It's just not something I would do. :

[poppan]

I recall seeing that before and I think it's really weird, still think it's really weird, but to each their own and it's none of my business.

[tinybutterfly]

I am returning this thread.

I have removed some posts to keep the conversation on track and focused on your thoughts and experiences with child-led weaning and about this video.

Please remember to be kind and keep the UA in mind when posting. It's in my signature if you'd like a refresher.

Thanks!

tinybutterfly

[Meredith&Alexander]

If it's the video I'm remembering, the girl in the video weaned on her own before her 8th birthday. So she weaned while she was 7, which is at the upper age that K. Dettwyler's research supports as the natural age of human weaning. I think people see 2-7 as a range and assume that their child will be on the early end of it, not the later end of it.

My older son is 6.5, and I think he's weaned, but not quite sure. It's no more strange for me to nurse him as a great big guy as it was when he was smaller- it's still him, and he's only getting older a day at a time. He has girlfriends, and comforts himself in other ways, but that doesn't mean he didn't need to nurse on occasion.

Nursing a 5-6YO is as different from nursing a toddler as nursing a toddler is from nursing an infant.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by poppan

I recall seeing that before and I think it's really weird, still think it's really weird, but to each their own and it's none of my business.

I agree.

[pumpkinhead]

Well beyond my comfort level, but I don't think that my comfort should apply to every nursing relationship. I don't think there should be some kind of enforced limit.

I encouraged my 3 year old to wean because my milk had all but dried up and the sensation of a child sucking on a dry boob makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. We were also reaching the limits of my own comfort level. How long other people nurse their kids doesn't really enter into my realm of "give a darn" .

[boobs4milk]

sometimes, i hate nursing. i really do. millie is a non-stop all night nurser. with that being said, i hope we go to at least 4. she's my last and i don't want it to be over...sigh.

as for the family in the video, what they do to nurture their children is their business. i'm not meant to be the judge of anyone.

[annethcz]

It's beyond my comfort level. I let all of my kids self-wean, and they chose to be done at very different ages. My 6.5yo still asks to nurse every few weeks (although she almost never actually goes through with it). I don't think I'd be comfortable nursing an 8yo, and I definitely wouldn't put it out on Youtube, but to each their own...

[WifeofAnt]

I think its a little odd to continue nursing until the child is 8 (my personal upper limit is probably closer to 4) but its not like the child can nurse forever, even if they wanted to. Its biologically limited to the first 7 or so years of life. Baby teeth are lost, adult teeth come in, and the jaw shape changes so they can't latch properly anymore. Sometimes the reflexes needed to 'suckle' disappear even before then and the child forgets how to nurse.

[RubyWild]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt

I think its a little odd to continue nursing until the child is 8 (my personal upper limit is probably closer to 4) but its not like the child can nurse forever, even if they wanted to. Its biologically limited to the first 7 or so years of life. Baby teeth are lost, adult teeth come in, and the jaw shape changes so they can't latch properly anymore. Sometimes the reflexes needed to 'suckle' disappear even before then and the child forgets how to nurse.

One never loses the ability to suckle. One can forget the necessary embrasure (as with musicians who give up a woodwind and then pick it back up again and find that their muscles are no longer "in shape.") But, there is no physical reasons a person must stop nursing.

[WifeofAnt]

Originally Posted by RubyWild

One never loses the ability to suckle. One can forget the necessary embrasure (as with musicians who give up a woodwind and then pick it back up again and find that their muscles are no longer "in shape.") But, there is no physical reasons a person must stop nursing.

I don't have any sources right now but I'm still going to disagree. I haven't seen it in humans but I've seen it in other animals (my cat nursed a 'kitten' until he started getting adult teeth and couldn't latch).

[tinybutterfly]

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tinybutterfly

[ramama]

Originally Posted by RubyWild

One never loses the ability to suckle. One can forget the necessary embrasure (as with musicians who give up a woodwind and then pick it back up again and find that their muscles are no longer "in shape.") But, there is no physical reasons a person must stop nursing.

It happened to DD2. She forgot how to nurse one morning. Literally. She had been nursing about 10x a day (age 4) and the next morning she tried to latch on and said "I forgot how to nurse" and the latch just felt wrong, and everything was just wrong. She wanted to nurse, and tried a few more times, and after than just cried, saying that she wanted to nurse so bad by it just didn't work anymore. I still had milk, BTW.

[lazzybee]

I wonder how an eight-year-old who still nurses will respond to breasts in her adult life? Maybe no different. Idk!

[alegna]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt

I don't have any sources right now but I'm still going to disagree. I haven't seen it in humans but I've seen it in other animals (my cat nursed a 'kitten' until he started getting adult teeth and couldn't latch).

We had a tom cat growing up that would still nurse.

He was a riot to see as mama cat was a small cat and he wasn't....

-Angela

[rightkindofme]

Mostly I think that poor family should stop being pointed at as freaks. They did what worked for them.

I'm not sure I would have the patience, but we'll see. I'll be tandeming in about 2 months and I wouldn't really have pictured that years ago.