getting state assistance but not going through court for child support?

[indiefolklore]

I was on food stamps for 2 months while pregnant, i wasn't married and the father was working but we could barely make ends meet. After 2 months they said they would have to serve papers for child support if i wanted to continue recieving. So i of course said forget about it because they would be taking out more than i had been getting EBT to begin with.


Flash foward to present. I am in the process of leaving and moving back home to live with my parents (chicago), i have no savings and my father has been on unemployment for almost a year now. I

Edited by indiefolklore - 11/10/10 at 10:51am

[MaWhit]

Just be honest. Show proof of whatever XH is paying, and see if you qualify.

If he is paying less than he should, then he is not paying enough (IMO and IME--the court-mandated child support levels are crazy low) and you should be getting more for your child. The money is for your child's care, not your comfort, and you are doing your child no favors by letting the dad off without taking care of his responsibilities.

[FourTrees]

In my experience, they accepted proof of what my exhusband was paying and didn't ask for anything more for foodstamps. We did not have a court ordered amount but had agreed on it ourselves. After he stopped paying it though, I had to have another letter from him saying he was no longer paying child support. He wouldn't write that of course, so I had to have one of his family members write it.

[Bad Mama Jama]

Originally Posted by MaWhit

If he is paying less than he should, then he is not paying enough (IMO and IME--the court-mandated child support levels are crazy low) and you should be getting more for your child. The money is for your child's care, not your comfort, and you are doing your child no favors by letting the dad off without taking care of his responsibilities.

i agree with this. you are taking the brunt of the hit by being the custodial parent. the LEAST he could do is pay the rightful amount. those formulas are calculated the way they are for a reason. i would not worry about being civil with the ex. get the money that is due to your child. i would definitely utilize the court system.

every state is different, but i know that here if you are receiving assistance, you are required to state a friend of the court child support case and part of that money does get paid back to the state. to me, it's almost like your state fronts your ex the money and gives you food stamps or child care or whatever the case and the portion that is pulled out of support goes back into what they have already paid out to you.

[MaWhit]

Also, it's not fair to rely on the state to make up for what he is not paying, when you are the one telling him he doesn't have to pay it. (Totally different if the NCP is noncompliant, or if the ordered CS is not enough.)

[angelpie545]

Are you required to go after your ex for child support in your state? I would check the laws because as far as I know, that's only for TANF, at least in my state. I can get food stamps and medical benefits without having to go after my ex for support, although I did for TANF years ago and he stepped up and has been paying for some time.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by indiefolklore

Now if i go to apply for assistance, will they bring the previous up again? A family member said that i should just say X took off...i really hate lying and do not want to take advantage of the system in anyway but i'm not completely sure how this all works.

the thing is the lying could hurt you. BIG TIME. all ex has to do is say and show that he IS paying you CS - no matter how small, and you will be in trouble. welfare fraud.

so it is not worth it to lie IMHO

get to know the system.

find out what they want to fill out in your application. get an application and see what you need to do.

the people who actually guided me and showed me the way were the welfare recipient themselves. they were just standing in line. we got chatting and they gave me a lot of information.

food stamps and medical is not so bad. but if you plan to ask for cashaid too, it might be a little more rigorous procedure.

i am from california so have no idea how your state does their thing.