A bit discouraged

[Bri'sgirl]

I have a friend who feeds her family the typical "SAD" diet. Lots of prepackaged foods, cold cereals, low-fat "diet" things, really whatever she feels like eating. She does cook most meals at home and gives her kids lots of fruit and some veggies, but nothing grass fed or organic. They have lots of candy, juice boxes and cake/brownies/cookies. She makes fun of me for NOT taking my kids to McD's and threatens to kidnap them and sneak them there for lunch. The thing is, her family hardly ever gets sick. Her youngest son was a preemie and had some problems in his first few months, but not so much now. They even have perfect teeth and skin. The only unhealthy thing is that everyone in her family, except her oldest son, is overweight.

We have been trying to eat as TF as possible for a couple of years. I cook most meals from scratch, not even using anything canned or boxed. We drink kefir, eat lots of yogurt, bone broth, grass fed for most meats and all eggs, lots of good fats (butter, CO, OO, etc...) I limit sweets in our house. We don't go to fast food, and when we do, it's usually Chik-fil-A once a month. I'm not nearly as good as most of you ladies, as far as eating TF goes, but I do my best and I know that we are eating way healthier now, than ever. However, my youngest ds (also 4 yo) gets sick often...ear infections, colds, diarrhea, and has mod. asthma. His asthma gets pretty bad sometimes, including the past 2 weeks. I don't get sick often, but this winter, I was sick more than ever! DH was sick more than usual, too. My other two kids were sick some, but not as much as the rest of us. Also, DH and I have horrible teeth, but at least the kids' teeth are good and the only one in my family that has any weight issues is my DH, who is about 15 lbs more than he wants to be.

My "friend" likes to kind of make fun of me for eating what I consider to be healthy. She likes to point out the fact that her family is always so healthy, while my family gets sick so much. It's so discouraging, sometimes. I know that our diet is healthy and getting better all the time. But, at the same time, I feel like I'm wasting my time soaking grains, making kefir, cooking from scratch, etc. It hasn't helped health-wise, it seems.

Honestly, I will not go back to eating the cr*p we were eating before. I just needed to vent a bit and maybe get some encouragement from someone.

[7thDaughter]

Your friend may be benefiting from generations of good eating in her immediate ancestry, which she turned away from. I can relate because my mom was honesty a terrible, horrible cook, and when I left home I swore I'd never eat liver again in my life. It's been a long slow journey back to traditional foods.

Pottinger found breakdowns really came out in the 2nd generation. Also things can vary considerably depending on Mom's diet during pregnancy. Two of my siblings corresponded with a starvation period in Mom & Dad's life, and have more health problems than any of the others.

Don't compare yourself with anyone. You know your work is bringing good health to your children and grandchildren. It's always hard to see other people's carelessness. I've never forgotten a pregnant woman who had 2 ADHD older children, snacking on "trail mix" made of Cap'n Crunch, Fruit Loops, choc bits and pretzels. Oy.

[FairyRae]

First of all, she doesn't sound like a real 'friend' to me. I'd probably stop hanging with her/talking w/ her if at all possible. No fun to have someone critisizing you for doing what you feel is best for your family.

As far as your kids getting sick, have you ever thought about the possibility of them (esp your youngest ds) having any food sensitivities? Dairy jumps out at me as a big possibile culprit b/c of your description of ear infections and colds. Gluten and dairy (among others) are VERY hard for many folks to tolerate. My ds rarely gets sick now that we avoid the foods he is sensitive to--he used to get sick probably 1x a month. Avoiding foods that bother your body can make an ENORMOUS difference in how you feel. And if there is gluten intolerance (or whatever else), it won't matter if you have fermented, sprouted and baked it b/4 eating, it is still going to mess with you.

Just a thought! I highly recommend checking out the allergies forum for more info on all this. They can help you figure out what might be possible things you/your kid(s) are reacting to, and help you figure out where to go from there.

Some of us have more generational nutrient deficiencies and just plain issues to deal with than others. I'm grateful we've found TF as it has been soooooo healing for us, combined w/ elimination diets. It can be sucky that it seems harder for some of us to be healthy than others (who may *seem* healthy eating SAD), but we each have our own paths, and I'm just really glad I figured this stuff out now and am empowering myself and my family by doing something about it! I KNOW I feel better eating a sort of allergen free TF (and primal/paleo, but that's just me ) diet, which is good enough reason for me to keep at it. I hope you can figure out what feels best for you and your family!!!

[serenbat]

It's all about genes for us, I think it's great to try and eat healthy but I know so many that don't and live very long with no health issues.

my grandmother is 92 1/2 (as she puts it)-TONS of white bread and starch, she hates most veggies and eats white potatoes everyday-- both her grandmothers lived into their 90's as well

another family member 95 year old, white bread and starches and LOVED sugar

another family member 90 year old, lived on chocolate and raisins for 5 years at the end



there is a recent thread about vaced vs unvaced currently and the difference in sickness you may want to look at that too

I have seen lots of junk eater that live long with no real problems besides hip and shoulder replacements (work related)

a family of 4 kids next to me live on pure JUNK and the kids are never sick

[Bri'sgirl]

Thank you all for the encouraging words. I feel like I have a "second wind" coming and will be able to keep improving our eating. Like I said, I really just needed to vent.

7thDaughter - I think you may be right about benefiting from generations of good eaters. My "friend" comes from a very wealthy family (whom you have probably heard of) and was raised having the best of everything. I'm sure that included the best foods, too. Pate is considered gourmet, right? On the other hand, my family was definitely not wealthy, but not poor. I know my mom ate like cr*p while she was growing up, although it was really her choice. Her parents owned a diner in the 40's through the 60's with plenty of fried everything. And, she ate a lot of candy and stuff. While I was growing up, she cooked most of our meals at home. But, we did have margarine and skim milk and lots of pasta and white foods.

FairyRae - You are right about her not being a good friend. In fact, due to other reasons, I have decided to end our friendship. As for allergies, I've heard that addictions to milk can mean an allergy to it. My youngest ds is definitely addicted to milk. He can easily go through a quart a day, by himself! I would say that over half of his calories come from milk. We don't drink raw milk (too pricey here), but it is grass fed and non-homogenized. I will look into the allergy forum...thank you! Also, like I said in my first post, we are not perfect in our eating, by any means, but we are getting better every day.

Serenbat - genes seem to be a huge factor for us, too. My mom is adopted, but her adopted mom hated veggies (actually forced herself to eat them!), ate tons of potatoes and white foods, and drank tons of coffee...BUT, she also ate lots of liver, bacon, whipping cream, eggs, etc. She lived until one week before her 89th birthday. Unfortunately, cancer took her life...mostly because she was stubborn about going to doctors, but that is another story! My mom's biological mom died at a fairly young age (56 yo) of a stroke that was caused by Type II diabetes. Both of her feet had been amputated and she was very overweight. Unfortunately, THOSE are the genes I inherited.

[Bri'sgirl]

Originally Posted by FairyRae

Some of us have more generational nutrient deficiencies and just plain issues to deal with than others. I'm grateful we've found TF as it has been soooooo healing for us, combined w/ elimination diets. It can be sucky that it seems harder for some of us to be healthy than others (who may *seem* healthy eating SAD), but we each have our own paths, and I'm just really glad I figured this stuff out now and am empowering myself and my family by doing something about it! I KNOW I feel better eating a sort of allergen free TF (and primal/paleo, but that's just me ) diet, which is good enough reason for me to keep at it. I hope you can figure out what feels best for you and your family!!!

I, too, am very grateful I found TF and will hopefully pass onto my children better health, which they can continue to pass onto their children. I'm really glad you have been able to change your health with TF. Maybe we just have to overcome all of our inherited deficiencies and then the better health will follow. s I know TF is the right choice for us, and we will be better off for it.

[californiajenn]

Overweight people tend to have high inflammation. While inflammation is mostly bad, it does help fend off sickness/infection.

Another thing to remember is kids whom catch lots of bugs when small, statistically are healthier adults. Meanwhile, your friends children are at a greater risk of developing all kinds of diseases.

[janinemh]

Never getting sick can be a sign of a mal-functioning immune system. And sometimes, when you switch to a better diet and your body starts healing, your immune system kicks in and you are sick more often for a while. Its stinks but I promise you are doing good things for yourself and your children. Your friend and her family will, sadly, feel the effects of their poor diet at some point.

As others have said, exploring food allergies is probably a good place for you to start looking at further avenues for healing in your family and improved immunity.

[krankedyann]

Originally Posted by janinemh

Never getting sick can be a sign of a mal-functioning immune system. And sometimes, when you switch to a better diet and your body starts healing, your immune system kicks in and you are sick more often for a while. Its stinks but I promise you are doing good things for yourself and your children. Your friend and her family will, sadly, feel the effects of their poor diet at some point.

This. It's exactly what happened to us. We eventually swung the other way and now we rarely get sick. Of course, that took a lot of good food and getting off of our allergens in order to see it happen, but this past winter was the best winter I have had in my whole life regarding sickness. Same with my kids.

I second FairyRae's recommendation to check into food allergies. No matter how well you eat, if you remain on your allergens, your body will not heal and your immune system will not strengthen. It's like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it.

[Bri'sgirl]

Originally Posted by janinemh

Never getting sick can be a sign of a mal-functioning immune system. And sometimes, when you switch to a better diet and your body starts healing, your immune system kicks in and you are sick more often for a while. Its stinks but I promise you are doing good things for yourself and your children. Your friend and her family will, sadly, feel the effects of their poor diet at some point.

I've never heard that never getting sick could be a bad thing. Although it seems counter-intuitive, I can see how that would be.

[janinemh]

Originally Posted by Bri'sgirl

I've never heard that never getting sick could be a bad thing. Although it seems counter-intuitive, I can see how that would be.

Yeah, I struggled with understanding this for a long time. Being sick ALL the time isn't good either but getting sick a few times a year for short periods of time shows that your immune system is working. People who never get sick often end up with really terrible life threatening illnesses at some point and then people say, "But she never gets sick!"