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Home finally.. How it all went down SUPER LONG UPDATE ON #27

post #1 of 67
Thread Starter 
So I had 3 ultrasounds in 3 days. Finally Peri/Obs decided babies are actually losing weight and needed to come out, my placentas had, had enough.

So IPs fly out the night before, I go in at 6am, no food or drink since the previous day. So It took 2 sticks, then the nurse gave up and called the IV team and it took them an additional 5 sticks, finally IV was in... Spinal guy comes in and explains everything, then drops a bomb.. He has decided I can only have ONE person in with me. I have delivered there before with surrogacy and had my hubs, and both IPs in the OR with me, so I put up a stink and that didn't work.

So my IPs are invited to view from a room, and my dh gets his green garb on. I get wheeled in and the spinal guy says to get in position for the block and I just said "No, this isn't right, I need them to be in here, this is their birth too". So he asked me again and I said no again lol, he gave up and let my IPs in. I had a hard time getting the block in, but after that everything got numbed up super well, they inserted the catheter and then lead all the guys back in.

After some of quiet, I heard dr say "water is nice and clear". Moments later after some numb tugging, baby A, Sofia Louise came screaming into the world. I heard one of the guys say "She doesn't look that small at all". I cried because I was so nervous they would have problems.

Everyone was cooing and oohhing and ahhing over baby A, when Dr asked everyone to be quiet for a moment. A nurse came up to my IFs all of a sudden blocking their view of me and saying "Lets go into the other room and meet your daughter". They looked at Dave, Dave looked at the dr then at me and looked horrified. IPs left with baby Sofia, then I felt a little dizzy and then fine again, (My pressure dropped really low). Then the dr called for a larger foot stool, and told me to hang in there, baby b was still sideways and stuck in my ribs, she couldn't get him out, I heard her say G*D Da*nit a few times, I tried to hold my breath because I was scared, but I really couldn't breathe at all anyways, I felt like someone was standing on my chest. Then the dr asked for something, I don't know what. But it instantly felt 100 times even more heavier and harder to breathe (not like the normal pressure of a section). The tugging got quiet violent, my husband got very pale and stopped blinking, this scared the crap out of me.

All in all it only took 5 minutes but it felt like infinity. Baby B (Caden Craig) came into the world not making any noise at all, I instantly looked for the window and saw IPs looking out (glad they didn't miss it). Then my lungs felt this huge release and I could breathe again.

Baby Caden was very stuck, it was very hard to get to him, the dr was on a stool and a nurse told me she literally was up to both her elbows inside me trying to get him out. I guess it was all very dramatic. The release I felt was actually them taking out a rib spreader. No pain, just very tight and uncomfortable.

Baby Sofia was 4 pounds 2 oz 17 3/4 inches long
Baby Caden was 4 pounds 12 oz and 17 inches long

Its cute that she was smaller but longer, and man does she look smaller, those 12 oz are a big deal lol.

Both babies were breathing perfect and both scored 9/9 in apgars. I was taken to recovery. I didn't see my IPs again for a long time. I did well in recovery and was moved to my room a little while later.

I did very well until yesterday, They came in routinely to check my BP, the new nurse checked it, thumped the machine, checked it again, sounded irritated and went and got another machine, checked it, looked very shocked and ran away. She returned with another nurse, checked it and made me lay down on my left side (Not comfy). They then ran to get the on call Dr. My BP was 178/136. It was a surprise to everyone, then they checked my urine and it had a lot of protein. After some more tests I was diagnosed with pre/e, I was totally shocked, I thought you had to be pregnant to have that, and I also thought the only cure was delivery.. so how could I have it?

Turns out it happens, kinda rare, but it happens. So I got an IV full of mag and my bp was checked every 15 minutes. It went up up up.. and my dr actually stayed in the room with the nurse the whole time. Dr said " I have never seen a bp go up so fast that didn't result in a stroke", I was like "Well geez, thanks".

So BP went down, but I wasn't allowed to go home. It got high a few times today but nothing horrible so they allowed me to go home. I have 23 staples they won't take out. I guess they stapled me because they wanted to close as fast as possible so staples was the way to go.

So I am home now, on BP meds, and some pain meds, but it could be worse.

I do have some emotional issues I am dealing with in regards to my IFs, I am trying to work through them. I feel very abandoned by them. I also feel selfish for feeling that way. I am not sad about the babies, they look beautiful and I spent a bunch of time with them. They are healthy and the only problems were Sofia not passing her carseat test yesterday, so they made her spend the night in the NICU, Caden was discharged yesterday. Sofie will either be discharged today or tomorrow.

My milk has come in very well with pumping, but I have been dumping since the mag iv yesterday and today. Before the mag I had several good bottles on ice for my IPs but they sent a nurse to tell me "We appreciate everything but we have decided to use formula". Its totally up to them. I am a little sad about it though.

I really wish wet nurses were popular still. I hate my pump.

I am happy to be home. I missed home. I am happy to not be pregnant anymore and happy to be getting on to the next chapter in our lives.

I wish you all a healthy happy rest of your pregnancies and easy labor and healings, and for those who have delivered, healthy babies and recovery!

post #2 of 67
Glad that you and babies a doing ok! Hope you continue to heal well.
post #3 of 67
oh my goodness mama you really went though a rough time

I am sorry that you feel abandoned, that is a really crappy way to feel after all that you have done and did up until delivery to advocate for their rights.

I hope your healing, emotionally and physically, is speedy.
post #4 of 67
I'm glad you're back home with your family. You had such a rough time. I'm sorry that the IFs weren't more inclusive. I would feel sad and abandoned, too. You can always keep posting in here about how you feel. We're all ears, and we care about you.
post #5 of 67
mama - so glad you came and posted your story, and so sad about the IFs. Hopefully when the newness wears off things will change some, but if not I hope you feel up to continued contribution here, your posts have been wonderfully helpful
post #6 of 67
Wow, mama, what a journey. Blessings on your recovery and good job growing those babies. Hugs to you and your brave husband!
post #7 of 67
Originally Posted by PapayaMom View Post
I am sorry that you feel abandoned, that is a really crappy way to feel after all that you have done and did up until delivery to advocate for their rights.
This. You were very considerate of their involvement/inclusion in the birth. I get the sense that they were not checking in with you or following up with you after the birth to see that you were okay? It would have been nice for them to do so after all these months of contact and involvement in their lives, carrying their babies and their dreams.

Hmmm, it's sad about your milk. Have you given any thought to pumping and donating to others? Just wondering. I hear you on hating the pump. Some people will do wet-nursing, you just have to find the right folks..........

It's good to hear that you're glad to be home and I hope you keep healing in a steady way. It will probably take some time to process all your feelings and hey, let's face it, there's a ton of hormonal stuff happening right now postpartum as well. Is there someone IRL you can talk to about this stuff?

Take care of yourself Mama. I think it's not unusual to have a sense of loss after birthing those babies. You gave a lot of yourself.
post #8 of 67
Welcome Sofia and Caden!
Glad to hear you are home and healing- what a tumultuous few days! It sounds like everything turned out okay though. It's too bad that the IFs were not as you wished they would be after everything... hopefully they are just going through big adjustments and emotions too, and will come around to realizing just how much you have given them and done for them! You are an amazing mama! Heal well and congratulations!!!
post #9 of 67

Congratulations on the birth of those little babies! I'm sorry the aftermath has been far less than ideal. I did want to let you know that you don't need to pump and dump after being on mag. sulfate - I had pre-e twice and gave my pumped milk to my babies in the NICU.

Best wishes for a quick recovery!
post #10 of 67
You gave such an amazing gift to these men, and I hope that they will realize that!!! You are incredible!
post #11 of 67
Oh my, it sounds like you have a rough patch with the surgery (I thot it was supposed to be really straight forward once you were open), and then afterwards! I hope your recovery goes much smoother from here on out.
I can't imagine doing what you have done. You are so brave and strong. Maybe the IFs don't completely *get* what you have done for them, not being female??? IDK, maybe they are in shock with two babies (and the last min gender change). I am sorry you feel abandoned. I hope you feel better soon.
post #12 of 67
Wow, mama! You got put through a lot. I really hope you recover quickly from the surgery and that the issues with the IP'sget resolved soon. I just can't believe they would drop you like that without a really good reason. Time will tell, hmm? And as previous posters have mentioned, you are just amazing! Keep that one in mind.
post #13 of 67
Mama - You really have given so much of yourself, emotionally and physically.
I hope you find the support and rest you need and heal quickly.

We are all here for you in your DDC
post #14 of 67
Oh wow. I have to say, you really sound like an incredible person with an incredible head on your shoulders. Honestly, even just reading this story amazed the crap out of me. I'm so sorry that it was not a very good experience and that you're having such a hard time with recovery, but still - you are amazing! Rest easy, mama.
post #15 of 67

well done, mama. praying for a quick recovery and healing of your heart.
post #16 of 67
Wow you are a very strong woman to go through all of this. I hope you feel better soon! Congratulations on growing and birthing 2 healthy babies.
post #17 of 67

you're amazing, beautiful and special, i hope you heal well in everyway x
post #18 of 67
That was quite an experience! I'm amazed that you still have the openness to still laugh. With that type of perspective, I'm sure you'll heal quickly. No good deed goes unpunished, though, huh?
post #19 of 67
My goodness. What a ride. I'm glad you're safe, the babies are safe, and it's all over, though it sounds like it got a little scary there for a while.

As for the IFs, I'm sad for you that they aren't including you right now or at least checking on your well-being. I know that surrogacy can be emotionally complicated on both sides, and I hope that once they have time to reflect and feel confident in their place with their children that they will come around and acknowledge your incredible, irreplacable role on their road to parenthood.
post #20 of 67
Wow, I'm so amazed and inspired by your strength! Thank you for sharing so deeply. I'll be thinking of you often, and sending prayers for a smooth recovery in every way.
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