I really messed up.

[october]

My daughter is 11 weeks old and the most precious thing in my life. She had horrible diaper rash from a little trip we went on for 4 days where we had to use disposables, so all day today I made it a priority to have her 'air dry' on the couch, near me.

We place her on this particular spot on the couch all the time for going diaper-less. She hasn't rolled over yet so we didn't think this was unsafe. And this is so freaking ironic because today I just posted a thread about playpens.

She fell and landed smack on her face onto our hardwood floors. :*(

Basically she's been kicking a lot and her kicks sort of scooch her closer and closer to the edge, but whenever I've noticed her doing that before I've moved her back up to the safe spot again. Tonight I was eating dinner and looking at my laptop when it happened. She had been vocalizing for attention, too, and I had been at her beck and call all day and just wanted some food. Now I hate myself for it.

She cried hysterically and DH had to take her from my arms because I became hysterical too. She recovered quicker than I thought she would, maybe 5-10 minutes of crying? Her nose turned whitish on the bridge and in other spots, so I knew there would be inflammation. I tried with all my might to calm down and I took her back from DH and tried nursing her and putting a package of frozen blueberries on her nose. She didn't like that very much but I tried. We also gave her a double dose of tylenol right away for the pain.

I am wondering two things:

1) Is she going to be okay? How do I know if her nose broke? Several hours later I *think* she might be getting two black eyes, but I don't know if it was slightly purple there before or not. It is very slight, but I can't help but wonder if her nose broke. Can you have bruising like that without your nose breaking?

2) How do I deal with this emotionally? I feel so much shame, and turmoil for hurting her, and self-hatred right now. I have never hit myself before but I went into the closet and slapped myself in the face as much as I could handle it. That makes me feel even crazier and I know it is not productive. But I didn't know where to direct my anger with myself it was so outrageously intense, all those feelings. I couldn't get the image of her falling off the couch and onto her face out of my head. It replayed over and over.

I never thought I would let something like that happen.

[CherryBombMama]

stuff like this happens all the time, mama, no need to beat yourself up about it

of course she will be ok! babies bounce back like you wouldnt believe, theyre bones are still so flexible ... if YOU would have fallen on your nose, maybe it would have broke, but your LO is so light and was close to the floor anyways ...

and you didnt hurt her, an accident happened, so just move on

and btw, is a double dose of tylenol ok? ive never done that

[Norasmomma]

First mama you need to take a breath, things like this happen.

When my DD was 3 months I slipped on the ice with her on the asphalt, luckily I did some super mom move that sprained my wrist, but kept her safe. How something worse didn't happen is beyond me. It scared me sooooo much, I was shaken up for days.

DS fell of the couch while I was changing him, he was about 2ish months, he just flipped right off. My DD was walking when she was about 2.5 and she had her hand in her pockets and fell on her face. DS somehow cut his lip with his tooth yesterday, not a great feeling seeing blood coming out of your 8 month old's mouth.

I just want you to know don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure other mamas will have other stories.

[Path2Felicity]

Oh, mama! I'm so sorry that you feel so guilty.

Babies are resilient. I would just check to make sure that she is not feeling more drowsy than usual or less responsive than she typical.

My DD also fell off the couch (and bed too), so I know the guilt that comes along with it. But don't do feel guilty at all. Your DD knows you love her and wouldn't want you to hurt yourself Just forgive yourself for this minor mistake.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by october

1) Is she going to be okay? How do I know if her nose broke? Several hours later I *think* she might be getting two black eyes, but I don't know if it was slightly purple there before or not. It is very slight, but I can't help but wonder if her nose broke. Can you have bruising like that without your nose breaking?

2) How do I deal with this emotionally? I feel so much shame, and turmoil for hurting her, and self-hatred right now. I have never hit myself before but I went into the closet and slapped myself in the face as much as I could handle it. That makes me feel even crazier and I know it is not productive. But I didn't know where to direct my anger with myself it was so outrageously intense, all those feelings. I couldn't get the image of her falling off the couch and onto her face out of my head. It replayed over and over.

I never thought I would let something like that happen.

At her age there isnt a bone at the bridge of the nose it is just cartilage. I know this because ds, 5y, and when he fell and busted the bridge of his nose open the x ray and the dr both confirmed there was no bone there. It can still bruise just like hitting any other body part but it dosnt mean a break.

You are being way to hard on yourself mama. Kids get hurt despite what we do and yes sometimes we "allow" it to happen. Meaning there where things we could have done to prevent it.

Your dd will be fine and she learned from this happening. We all have to live and learn.

[kismetbaby]

Hugs mama! Believe me, we've all been there in some way or another. My LO fell out of bed a few weeks ago and it was just awful. . .he was fine after a little bit of crying, but I felt like a terrible mama for days. These things happen, and our LOs are very resilient. Of course, it is important to be very careful about leaving our babes on any surface that is off the ground. . .some of them do learn to scoot/roll about much sooner than others and can surprise you like your LO did.

As far as her nose, you may want to have it checked but I would be very surprised if its actually broken. I would think that a broken nose would swell and discolor quickly. She may have a little bruising, but I'll bet she's just fine tomorrow. (Love her name BTW).

[Cujobunny]

Both my kids fell out of my bed as babies. Not a mattress on the floor, but full on, queen size bed on a frame. You'd think I would have learned after the first time.... it happens. She'll be FINE.

[happysmileylady]

Deep breaths mamma.

One year from now, your little one will be so covered with bruises from falling from learning to walk, that you will be afraid that people will think you are abusing her.

Babies, of all ages, get bumps and bruises all the time. They roll off of whereever they are, they arch their back while in your arms and end up on the floor, they are trying to learn to crawl and forget to pick up a limb and end up flat on their face, they are manipulating a toy and manage to do something to it that the makers never intend and get their little fingers pinched, they grab things off the ground that you thought you picked up or never even saw and swallow them, quite honestly, it's really amazing that the human species still exists because babies do so much damage to themselves. You are far from the first mamma who's little one has rolled off the couch (changing table, dresser, chair, lap etc etc) and you certainly won't be the last. It's 100% normal.

Now, as to how she's doing-it's also normal that they cry for just 5 or 10 minutes and then are fine. It does hurt when they conk their little noses like that. If she conked it just right, she may very well end up with two black eyes. If that's the direction it's heading, I would suggest calling the dr just to be sure, but most likely, she's just fine. And at 11 wks old, her bones might not even be hard enough to have broken her nose anyway. My oldest had her fingers smashed in a stroller handle when she was about the same age, and she cried forever, and we did end up going to the dr and had Xrays done. She didn't break her fingers and the doc said it was because she was so young that her bones were still somewhat soft and they just kinda bent/squshed rather than actually broke.

Honestly, the double dose of tylenol would probably have me more concerned. Not totally, because most OTC meds are under-dosed on purpose, to make OD harder. But I would have checked with the dr before doubling her dose.

Now, as to your reaction...it is a little extreme. How are you feeling emotionally otherwise?

[katelove]

I really don't want to make you feel bad because you are obviously already really upset but please don't give your baby a double dose of tylenol again. I don't want to freak you out - as a one-off it's probably not going to be a big issue - but accidental overdose of children by parents on paracetamol and ibuprofen is a significant problem. We see lots of children hospitalised for it in Australia.

As I said, just this once, probably no big deal but I really, really wouldn't do it again.

As far as the fall, it sounds like she is fine and you will probably take a lot longer to recover than she will From what I can tell there are two types of parents; ones whose babies have had a fall already and ones whose babies haven't fallen *yet*.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by katelove

I really don't want to make you feel bad because you are obviously already really upset but please don't give your baby a double dose of tylenol again.

Extremely good point.



That said, I think almost every single baby falls at one point and their parent(s) feel AWFUL!!! For me, it scared me so much when my 4 month old son slipped past the guard rail on the bed to the floor far below, that I don't think he ever fell again, so perhaps that was a bit of a consolation for me?!?! I don't know, I still feel guilty and he's 11! LOL! I will tell you, I never ever left him unattended on a couch, bed, or chair, ever again. A blanket and a hard bit of floor were sufficient for me when I needed to go to the washroom or swap some laundry.

I think that you will know by tomorrow if your baby is indeed still injured, but I personally think that she is probably fine, with soft, flexible bones and her very resilient baby-self.

[kitteh]

I just want to offer you lots of love and understanding mama. I know how it is to blame yourself for your babes mishaps, but it's not your fault and you are not a bad mama, ok?

[junipermuse]

Hey mama don't worry things like this really do happen all the time. I bet every mother (and father) has a story of a time their child got hurt that was possibly preventable. We make mistakes and we learn from them and our kids are pretty darn resilient. Babies are way tougher than we give them credit for.

As far as the double dose of tylenol goes, it's better not to do it, but if you feel she needs more pain relief than a single dose of tylenol you can alternate off with ibuprofen. They work on different pathways so you can have a dose of each in your system without worrying about overdosing. Also check out Dr. Sear's website for some good info on dosing pain relievers for infants and children. He talks about how to know for sure how much to give. Frankly I would start with Ibuprofen though because that helps alleviate swelling and not just pain.

I hope baby feels better and don't be too hard on yourself.

[Monkey Toes]

As everyone has said, this eventually happens to every parent. I just wanted to add another voice in on that one. My daughter has fallen off our full height bed multiple times (how terrible is that??), and I'm always the one worse for wear after it happens. I cry long past the time she's done. Even if she does have some bruising, she will be okay. Make sure she's behaving normally of course, but almost certainly she's perfectly fine.

I'm much more worried about you. You cannot possibly blame yourself and take responsibility for everything that ever happens. Mistakes happen. (Right now my daughter has a huge and infected finger because I accidentally cut her while trimming her nails. I feel bad of course but it's not like I can never trim her nails again...) If you hover over your kids to make sure they're never hurt, you'll also never give them the chance to learn skills and independence. Sadly, bumps and falls are just part of the journey. Also, you absolutely do NEED to take those moments for yourself to eat or even look at a laptop. Feeling like you never can is, in my opinion, one sure way to get yourself into a bad mental place. Just please take care of yourself. I hope by tomorrow you're feeling a little better.

[prothyraia]

It happens to everyone. Something like it will probably happen again- and again- and again over the next 10 years.

Babies are made to survive falls, bumps, bruises, cuts, nicks, scrapes, etc., etc. etc. It'll be okay, really.

Originally Posted by katelove

I really don't want to make you feel bad because you are obviously already really upset but please don't give your baby a double dose of tylenol again.

:

[MangoMommy]

I'll just echo the others...things happen!!! I remember waking up to a thud at 3am, it was my 8 mo old rolling off my (on a frame) queen bed onto the hardwood floor and then rolling under the bed. I woke up and jumped out of bed and had to "find" her!! She was fine, it scared me to death!

[*Jade*]

I'll give the opposite side - I was that baby!! My mum left me in a bouncer on top of a table, and I bounced right off and landed on the side of my head! I was 3 months old, so pretty much the same as your babe. My poor mum, she even lied to the police about what happened when she took me to hospital, I can't imagine how scary it was! But all is fine, nothing was wrong - we even joke in my family that I'm more intelligent because of it!

[LadyCatherine185]

Don't beat yourself up Mama! Stuff like that happens. My DS rolled off the couch several times before I finally "got it" and stopped leaving him on the couch. He even rolled off of the bed twice. Once he became mobile he fell many, many times. He still does. The best thing to do is remain calm when something like that happens, because when she is hurt she is going to be looking to you for comfort and stability and if you are hysterical it is going to make her more upset.

[ciga]

she'll be okay, don't hate yourself.
if it makes you feel better you can take her in to the doctor so that you are sure.
My grandmother-in-law was just telling me the other day about how she dropped my husband when he was a week old. His father also let him flip right off the changing table onto the wood floor when he was a few months. He's special but I don't think it has anything to do with the falls in infancy.

When my older brother was 2 he was walking up this stone wall walkway with both my parents. Beyond the guard rail was the edge and a 10+ foot drop down to an outdoor cafe and stone. My mom said that one second he was next to her and the next he was gone and she went ape sh$! because she knew he'd gone over the edge. They frantically ran down to where he had fallen and a crowd had gathered from the cafe. Even he was okay. He broke his arm but he recovered. The couch is a much shorter distance to the ground and I think edie is way more pliable than a 2 year old.

It'll be okay

[hildare]

i'll probably have to remind myself of this later, too:
biologically speaking, there's a reason that babies don't have bones in their noses yet and that their bones heal at an incredible rate. Adults are actually many times more fragile than babes... because babies are CRAZY and they like to hurl and bounce themselves off hard surfaces!
Not your fault, mama!

[october]

Wow everyone thank you so much!! This was so good for me to wake up to.

Eden was fine all last night and this morning (although she needed to nurse every 2.5 hours instead of her usual 6-8 at night). Today she does not have black eyes and her nose looks fine, possibly slightly swollen but I really can't tell for sure, and I'm probably the one that stares at her face the most! So it's definitely not that bad.

I had no idea about the double dose of tylenol. I'm glad I mentioned it and that I read your reactions. The only reason we gave her a double dose is because she began teething a couple weeks ago and from my 'research' online I found multiple websites saying that it is ok to give an *initial* double dose if it is really bad that day. We never gave her a double dose until last night, though. And I would have given her an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but we don't have any for babies. Thankfully, she is just fine this morning, but I won't be doing that again!

I am also doing better. I am a little disturbed about my extreme reaction to this, too. I think part of it is being a total perfectionist with a little OCD, I felt like more of a failure than I ever have. Especially because yesterday my DH and I officially decided for me to be a SAHM, which is what I really wanted but DH was hesitant about (especially because I was given the opportunity to work an incredibly flexible part time job). So I couldn't help but feel like it was a sign that I shouldn't be a SAHM, because clearly I'm not doing a good enough job as it is if THIS happened!

It does cause me some relief to read some of your stories, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your compassion.

Today I am going to experiment with a cushy blanket on the floor. No more couch laying for my little lass!