Please help me deal with going back to work

[chipper26]

I apologize in advance for the length of my post...

I am pretty sure I will be returning to work full-time this fall. I've been trying to get part-time work, but the jobs just aren't available this year in my school district. I have to come back this year or lose my place in my district. I had no control over where I was placed and will be working at least 45 minutes from home. With all of the budget cuts, who knows if and when I could get it back. Maybe next year I can reduce to part-time.

My dd will be 2 in July and hasn't been away from me for more than 4 or 5 hours her whole life, except for one time. I know that I've been lucky to stay home with her for 2 years, but I'm feeling so overwhelmed with the fact that I will only be with her for about 5 of her waking hours each weekday.

I've solved one problem, I've decided I'd rather have her in the car with me both ways during the commute and I'm looking for a daycare near work instead of near home. Also, at least every other Friday she can stay home with my dh for the day (as long as she naps and does well, but that's another story.)

I am looking forward to going back to work, but full-time seems almost unmanageable. I will be returning as a teacher at a school where I know I can really make a difference. But, will I be making a difference for other people's kids while mine is missing mommy? She is VERY attached to me, but also a pretty social kid already and very verbal.

Can you offer encouragement or success stories? I'm laying awake at night!

[lunarlady]

I'm a teacher, and had to go back when my DD was just 7 weeks. But it was very hard! I did have a daycare in my building (high school w/teen mom magnet), so I took DD with me to and from work. There are some good things and some bad things about that.

Good things:
More time with your child, can work right up to the daycare closing time if necessary, and you are close in case of some sort of emergancy.

Bad things:
You have to do all the drop off/pick up unless your DP also works near where you do, things in the evening, like PT conferences, are a major hassle as you have to pick up child, ferry to alternate care or DP trade off point, then head back to work, and nothing is worse than a cranky toddler stuck in a car in some sort of traffic.

I ended up putting DD in care near our home, and that works better for us because normally, DH does drop off and I do pick up. But if I have a conflict, like conferences or a late meeting or something, he can easily pick up.

Your little one is almost old enough for some preschools. I would reccomend those as I think they hold interest better for the kids as they age, and you won't have to move care next year.

I know it is hard, but it can be done! Paint this as a fun adventure for your DD, and try to approach it that way for yourself too.

[laurabfig]

It is so hard balancing mothering and working sometimes. I feel like I've been recommending this book to everyone, but reading it really helped me deal with some of my emotions about working that are VERY similar to what i read in your post. Getting to 50/50- its a book about 2 parent working families, and has TONS of research that will reassure you that you are not damaging your daughter by working. Reading it won't help your emotions go away, or make the situation easier, but it will reassure you in lots of ways. I'll be going back to 30 hrs/week after 4 months maternity leave this next school year, and this book has helped remind me of the benefits of working and made me feel more ok with it...even though I know it will be hard.

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by laurabfig

It is so hard balancing mothering and working sometimes. I feel like I've been recommending this book to everyone, but reading it really helped me deal with some of my emotions about working that are VERY similar to what i read in your post. Getting to 50/50- its a book about 2 parent working families, and has TONS of research that will reassure you that you are not damaging your daughter by working. Reading it won't help your emotions go away, or make the situation easier, but it will reassure you in lots of ways. I'll be going back to 30 hrs/week after 4 months maternity leave this next school year, and this book has helped remind me of the benefits of working and made me feel more ok with it...even though I know it will be hard.

Thanks, I will definitely read it. I do know that I need to go back in some capacity b/c staying at home full-time is starting to wear on me, and in turn she was getting less engagement. I just didn't picture a full-time situation. I even thought about quitting, but I think that probably wouldn't be the wisest choice.

[chipper26]

Originally Posted by lunarlady

I'm a teacher, and had to go back when my DD was just 7 weeks. But it was very hard! I did have a daycare in my building (high school w/teen mom magnet), so I took DD with me to and from work. There are some good things and some bad things about that.

Good things:
More time with your child, can work right up to the daycare closing time if necessary, and you are close in case of some sort of emergancy.

Bad things:
You have to do all the drop off/pick up unless your DP also works near where you do, things in the evening, like PT conferences, are a major hassle as you have to pick up child, ferry to alternate care or DP trade off point, then head back to work, and nothing is worse than a cranky toddler stuck in a car in some sort of traffic.

I ended up putting DD in care near our home, and that works better for us because normally, DH does drop off and I do pick up. But if I have a conflict, like conferences or a late meeting or something, he can easily pick up.

Your little one is almost old enough for some preschools. I would reccomend those as I think they hold interest better for the kids as they age, and you won't have to move care next year.

I know it is hard, but it can be done! Paint this as a fun adventure for your DD, and try to approach it that way for yourself too.

My dd will not be involved in dropping off or picking up, but it does limit his access on Friday's, when he works from home. I like the adventure mindset. I know she will have so much fun and will be constantly engaged, but it is a LONG day. Hopefully she will just be a busy bee and not miss me too much