is it possible? worth it?

[inky leeuhhh]

i am a student, and right now working full time. we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment (900 sq feet) and have two children. i'd like one more in the next couple years. i homeschool the oldest girl, and have dreamed of staying home with her. dh does not make very much, but what he makes barely covers everything, plus a very minimal (like 100$) left over. i haven't checked to see what we could cut out if i were to try and stay home, but we live pretty minimally as it is. i'm sure we could get rid of some things though. i would love to be able to just go to school and take care of the girls, but of course i'm worried about money. i have no serious attachment to material things- i can do without, i just want to have enough and know we are taken care of, kwim? dh is very loving and supportive, so i know he would be behind me if i wanted to try this. what do you all think? is it worth the paycheck to paycheck living? i would at least know that everything was covered, we would have food and a roof over our heads ect, but it would be close. i would get the car paid off (older car that runs well) before hand and try to save up a chunk of change so we had something to fall back on if we found we weren't making it.

sorry this turned into a huge blabber! anyway, what are you opinions? is it worth living super frugally to be able to stay home? obviously everyone will have different thoughts- i just want some different pros and cons so that i can try to make the best decision for us. oh- and does it seem like a push to have three kiddos in a 2 bedroom apt for a while, should we decide to have another after a while? the babe would be sleeping in our room for the first two years of its life anyway. thanks for any input if you have made it this far!

[choli]

IMO living super frugally is worth it, living paycheck to paycheck is not. Does your DH's job cover the family with health insurance? If not, you need to be able to save. Actually, even if it does, you need to be able to save.

[zebra15]

My question is why are you a student if you are going to be a SAHM... if you are a student will you have student loans? How are you paying for school? what will your degree be in? Will you be able to get a job if you want to work at some point? what happens if DH looses his job, this economy isnt the best right now....

Does your lease allow for that many people in a 2 br apt?

[VisionaryMom]

Something to consider if you're a SAHM, and this may vary depending on your personality and needs. You will need some money budgeted for going out and doing things. I've always worked freelance and been at home during the day. When we were on a super-strict budget, it was hard. After a while, I wanted to do something that didn't *have* to be free, ya know. When it started to feel that going for a cup of coffee once a month was a splurge I couldn't do, I felt very trapped in my life.

We still don't spend tons on activities. We have 3 annual passes and a stocked craft cabinet. I give our nanny some money every week to spend on the kids for an ice cream or going to the pool, but I definitely wouldn't want to go back to having nothing to spend for those activities.

I also didn't budget to spend on myself. I would buy 4-5 tank tops every summer and a couple of shirts in the winter. While that seemed prudent because I was at home, it eventually made me feel pretty bad about myself.

Those are the issues I'd consider - whether you're idealizing what it would be like to be home with absolutely no money versus continuing to work, even part-time or from home, and having some breathing room.

[VisionaryMom]

Oh, for the kids...

We have 2 kids sharing a room. If we had another child, that kiddo would have to be in our room. While it's doable, it depends on the size of the room, temperament of the children, etc. We have a 5YO boy and 3YO girl. Our girl is...whimsical, creative, and incredibly messy. Our 5YO isn't. He likes his things in order, clean, and generally unlike his sister. So they're starting to have some issues because of the difference in how they like to keep their things. So that's something to consider.

We're working on alternatives. We had an old trunk we weren't using that we made DD's "dress-up trunk" for all of her fairy wings, crowns, bracelets, etc. It doesn't impose on her much to put her things in there, and it helps DS remain mentally healthy.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by choli

IMO living super frugally is worth it, living paycheck to paycheck is not.

Agreed. We live super-frugally (even by 'frugal' standards ) BUT we have a good chunk of savings & do not live paycheck to paycheck. I'm hoping to eventually quit my WAH job but only if DH is able to get a slight raise & health insurance. We do not have anywhere really to cut back so higher salary would be key to making it work.

I also wonder why you'd continue to be a student if you want to be a SAHM? I would consider whether it might make more sense to put off finishing school, especially if you're paying for childcare while you're in school or will end up having student loans to pay back. Plus, when you eventually re-enter the workforce you'd have a more out-of-date degree and no work experience in the interim.

I disagree with the pp that said you need to have money to spend if you're a SAHM. However for me gas money is crucial, we're not in a walkable area... but focus almost exclusively on free activities & we have lots of fun. We visit museums on their 'free' days (which are usually once a month) and things like that.

Maybe if you post your budget we could help you see if there are in fact areas you could cut back.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

I disagree with the pp that said you need to have money to spend if you're a SAHM. However for me gas money is crucial, we're not in a walkable area... but focus almost exclusively on free activities & we have lots of fun. We visit museums on their 'free' days (which are usually once a month) and things like that.

I did qualify by saying that personality matters. The area also matters. IME, and we've lived in several states, all museums don't have free days. Parks aren't always great places to visit. Finding free stuff where we currently live is easy, though much of it does require driving, but I've lived in 2 places in particular where there just aren't a lot of free activities available.

[crunchy_mommy]

Sorry, I was just trying to say that in many areas you don't need money to be a SAHM... I know it's not true for everyone/everywhere... but even if the museums don't have free days & the parks aren't nice, most places still have libraries and you can still get together with friends for playdates and IME there are often free activities I just don't know about until I get desperate enough to look Hope you didn't take offense to my disagreeing, I was just trying to offer an opposing perspective!

[inky leeuhhh]

argh i just typed out a huge response to this and my computer wigged out. nak so this will be brief-

my school and books are 100% paid for through grants, with a little left over afterwards for personal use. classes are online and i get everything done after the girls are in bed, so no daycare would be needed.

covered for insurance

dh has a super stable job- it just doesn't pay a ton. chance for a raise/ promotion in the future though.

we would be taking a while to save up money so we had a chunk in savings, and be stocking up on enough clothes to get us through a year before i quit my job. we would also stock up on non perishable food and toileteries. if after the year was up (or beforehand) we thought it was not working, we would re think our plan and whether or not i needed to go back to work.

we live in a very walkable area, with three awesome parks within walking distance and lots of horse trails. tons of kids in our apt complex for dds to play with. shopping area a block away with a grocery, drug, and hardware store (and tons of other places i don't typically shop).

budgeting in extra gas money is a good point; i'd have to figure that out. chances are we wouldn't need to drive far very often.

i stayed home with dd2 after she was born for 8 mos and did not go stir crazy at all, and we were living in a more remote area then. i have my budget on here somewhere, but my younger dd is getting into things so i need to get off of here for a few- lol! thanks everyone though, i'm starting to consider alternatives like cutting back to working a couple days a week (if they would let me), so we have a little play money. i may try living on this type of budget for a month and just sock my paychecks away for the month to see if it works.