almost 3mo sleep troubles

[simplyla]

Hi all,

I've lurked on the mothering forums since I was pregnant, along with several others, hoping to find a place I felt I fit so I'd know I was getting the good answers when I started having questions :-) Well, here I am.

My baby has been an excellent night-sleeper (nurses to sleep around 7pm each night, wakes around 11pm and around 3am to nurse, wakes up at 6am) since she was 5 weeks old. I never felt sleep deprived since I got such large chunks of sleep. Also, our sleep cycles were in sync, so neither of us had to fully awake for those night nursings; I just latched her on when I woke minutes before she did, and dozed again.

As she's gotten older and needed less sleep during the day, I've noticed that she has more trouble with naps. It's very clear to me when she's tired, because she gets fussy but very quietly (she normally cries loudly if it's something else), she yawns a lot, and she rubs her eyes. However, I have not figured out any way to help her fall asleep. Usually she eventually does nap at least twice (total 3 hours), sometimes less and occasionally she fusses all day without napping... on those days, the fussing becomes more like crying by dinner time.

All that was true from about 5-9 weeks old. She's now 11 weeks, and for the past two weeks, her sleep has been increasingly restless. She is napping for about 30 minutes in the morning - it seems she's startled awake and can't go back to sleep - and an hour or two in the afternoon. At night though, she's waking up every 1 to 2.5 hours, all night long! She wakes and cries (previously she never had to cry), which wakes me up but I'm groggy and can't go back to sleep. Sometimes nursing or just patting her on the back helps and she dozes off again, but not always. She's pretty cranky all day after nights like these.

Additionally, for the past week, every morning between 4 and 5am I wake up to the sound of her screaming! I pick her up, check her all over, rock her, talk to her, try to nurse her (she won't take it), pump her legs in case it's gas, etc. and none of it seems to work. This morning for the first time I tried to rub her gums and she fell asleep within minutes, but I don't know whether that was a fluke or if she's really teething early.

Any ideas would be appreciated -- I'm not trying to get her to sleep without nursing or to sleep through the night, I just want to help her fall and stay asleep when she's tired, both day and night. Also wondering whether Elizabeth Pantley's sleep books would be good for us?

I'm sure I left out some useful details, just let me know how I can help you help us :-) Thanks!

[Louisep]

Have you taken her for a check up lately? With anything completely out of character I would always take DS to the pedi to make sure he didn't have an ear infection.

And he never had an ear infection.... but the crying with your LO makes me wonder.

After ruling that out, it could well be teething, it could also be a growth spurt, a developmental milestone (rolling over?), or something environmental (have you changed washing detergent or nighttime clothes?). It might just be a sleep regression that passes.

We went through a very horrible sleep phase that was teething related and I never found anything to help with the wakings. But I did figure out ways to give me the most amount of rest - having DH take DS in the mornings for as long as possible to give me a bit more sleep (even an hour - I know it's hard when they're so little and breastfeeding). I also napped every single time with DS. Co-sleeping and breastfeeding lying down helped too.

About naps...my DS needed a lot of sleep but fought it. At 3 months he was only awake for 90 minutes before taking a nap (every baby is different though...). At that age I had to swaddle him and rock him in rocking chair. He would cry before giving in to sleep. To this day he rarely falls asleep simply because he's tired.

I don't know if Pantley would help you at 3 months, but it's a good book to read. One thing I will say, I think our insistence on routine has helped in the long-term even though until 12 months a bedtime routine probably didn't mean much to him.

Not sure if any of this helps. I guess I'm just trying to reassure you. We've been through so many different sleep phases, and they are always that, just a phase. Do what you can to make your LO and yourself comfortable - you know best.

[Louisep]

PS If you do take your DD to the pedi, don't go down the sleep route with them - I've had such bad experiences with that as it's a parenting issue, not a medical issue. But just say she's been cranky and crying during the day or something and you want to get her ears checked out.

[simplyla]

thanks

Thanks for your response. Soon after I posted, all the weird stuff (night waking and screaming) just went away. However, she still has trouble falling asleep for naps and bedtime. I try and begin a routine as soon as I see signs of tiredness (and she still has plenty! rubbing eyes, big yawns, fixed gaze/droopy eyelids, getting increasingly cranky) but it doesn't seem to help. I tried to wait until she was really tired, and that was no good either. And her naps are still just 45 minutes, or else non-existent, all morning. She wakes clearly still tired, but doesn't really fall deeply asleep until around 3pm, when she's just worn out and sleeps anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours!!

Well, I don't really have a question here, just the update and if anyone else has an idea I could try do let me know :-) Thanks again!

[Black Orchid]

I just wanted to say that 3 months is too young to be thinking in terms of "sleep problems". At this point your DD is just starting to hit the age where she will consolidate her sleep periods. I would definitely recommend reading the first part of the No Cry Sleep Solution to help you understand how to best encouage routine. The second part of the book is really only for babies who are older (4+ months, I think).

At that age, I remember my DDs were starting to take three "naps" during the day... a short one in the early AM (30-45 minutes) a long one around lunch (1-3 hours) and then another in the early evening (about an hour). They would "go down" for the night around 9-10 pm and wake every 1-3 hours to nurse until about 6 am.

[momto4plus4]

ds2 is 3 months and still not on a routine. He'll have several nights of a good 6-8 hr stretch then all the sudden he's awake every 3 hrs. He recently isn't napping well-just 20-30 here and there and somtimes, like 2 days ago, doesn't nap AT ALL! But then today he slept for 4 1/2 hrs and then another nap later in the day. I can say, that of my 4, he is the one with a clear temper. The chiropractor said he's like Jekyl and Hyde, either so happy and sweet or screaming until he's purple in the face. And, it's usually anger, not pain. Both my boys have fought sleep and ds1 (5 yrs old) STILL fights sleep.

I also agree with the above posts about ear infections and growth spurts, etc. Dd1 Always had trouble sleeping before a developmental milestone. Still, at age 9, I can usually tell when something's coming because she's all the sudden up 4 or 5 times before falling asleep.

I hope that she starts sleeping better for you and that, as she gets older, you'll be able to see the personality behind the behaviors. It's interesting now to see how each of my kids' personalities affected their sleeping pattern!

BTW-my last 3 have all slept in a swing (and only a sideways one). I think it's mostly because of their tummy issues but thought maybe that's an idea for you. Ds2 has to be super warm, swaddled tight, swinging sideways on high with the music setting and sometimes he has to scream for 10 minutes or so (much easier to handle the crying with #4 but also because I know sometimes he just needs to scream and my mom said the same thing from birth about him!).