help me think of a hand washing script, please?

[nervousnelle]

Okay, so baby is coming tomorrow, and I need to think of a canned script or two to rely on when I feel shy about asking visitors to please wash their hands before they hold her. I know that sounds mousey. Like, why can't you just say, "hey, please wash your hands first," but I admit that I'm afraid of offending people, especially frail old sensitive aunts who would never dream of hurting a soul, but might forget to wash their hands and then be embarrassed when I ask them. Please don't judge me for being so timid. I feel overwhelmed right now.

And, what do I do if someone gets pushy? A la "oh, she's fine, it'll build her immunity?" (My cousin wanted to bring her 2-year-old who had the flu last week and I told her I'd rather she didn't, and I heard, "what are ya gonna do? keep her in a bubble?" Um, yes, for a little while.) I'm starting to understand why people say NO visitors, but there are some people that I would enjoy seeing.

[Sophiasmomma]

but I admit that I'm afraid of offending people,

I used to feel like this BEFORE I had my first child, then as soon as she came I didnt care what anyone thought of me... My rules to protect MY CHILDREN if someone doesnt like it then they cant touch or hold MY BABY and I am sooo not a vocal person about anything and am kind shy

I have to tell you even my own in laws arent allowed to hold my children unless they drape a blanket over their shirts and wash really well since they have a son that smokes in their house so they always stink of smoke. My children are 3 and 6 and I still wont allow them into my inlaws home because of the smoking.. MY Dad smoked faithfully around my brother & I and we both of bad asthma soI dont ever want my children to be exposed.

there are sooo many germs to worry about why would you want your LO exposed when its only going to be a few days old IF that... People cant be offended if you say that its your rule to wash hands before touching baby

[Oliver'sMom]

I totally understand!

This was really hard for me too when ds was born. Everyone was so excited to see him and hold him and I had a hard time saying "back off for a bit! wash your hands!"

I ended up asking my mom to tell people they had to wash up first. She had no problem with it at all and I think people listened to her better than they would have to me. Maybe it's my own insecurities but it seems like when the mom stands up for their baby's health, etc...they're being overprotective, but if someone else does it it's totally accepted.

good luck tomorrow!! so exciting!!

[YHannahh]

I understand the apprehension. I need to prepare myself for these potentially awkward situations too. Usually what works best is to say exactly what the situation is. It's not as bad as you think as long as you say it nicely. How about:

"Please wash your hands first. While we do want her to have a strong immune system, newborns are just a lot more susceptible to illness than older children. Common germs that only mildly affect adults can be severe to infants. Don't worry, after the baby matures, we won't ask that you wash your hands anymore."

If it's too long, just take out the third sentence...then it's only 3 sentences long.

It doesn't sound so unreasonable does it?

[MommatoAandA]

Alcohol hand gel kills harmful germs better than hand washing, believe it or not. I would just ask everyone to use the hand sanitizer. Anyone allowed to hold your baby should clean their hands without prompting. If they are offended they can leave.

I asked every nurse/person/Dr/Resident who came in contact with DD's to wash in my bathroom when they entered the room. PERIOD. If they refused they were asked to leave.

[MommatoAandA]

...... and how inconsiderate of someone like your cousin. I am in AWE of people like that. NEWBORNS are not 2 year olds and even my 3 year old would not purposely be exposed to someone with Influenza. That is weird and just plain rude behavior. People AMAZE me.

[AmyKT]

You can simply have a pump bottle of hand sanitizer by your bed, and if anyone doesn't wash their hands first, you can hand them that with a smile on your face without saying a word.

Best of luck tomorrow!

[EMandM]

Originally Posted by AmyKT

You can simply have a pump bottle of hand sanitizer by your bed, and if anyone doesn't wash their hands first, you can hand them that with a smile on your face without saying a word.

Best of luck tomorrow!

This is exactly what I was going to say.

I am also one who would generally keep my mouth shut to avoid offending someone, but I bought the foaming hand sanitizer for every room and plan on either handing them the sanitizer before I hand over the baby, or just saying "Sure, the hand sanitizer is on the nightstand/coffee table/desk right there."

[PapayaMom]

my friend always posts a sign on the front door that way when people come over she doesn't have to say anything, they tend to get the point prior to her even opening the door.

Something to the point like "new baby in the house please wash your hands when you come in." There main door enters into the kitchen so it is a nice convenient reminder that the sink is right there.

[nervousnelle]

Originally Posted by AmyKT

You can simply have a pump bottle of hand sanitizer by your bed, and if anyone doesn't wash their hands first, you can hand them that with a smile on your face without saying a word.

Perfect. Thank you. Breathing a sigh of relief. What an easy solution.

I totally get the "people shouldn't be offended" responses, and I do suspect that some mommy-bear instinct will spring up inside me, because I've been feeling it all along, but I just know that anything but friendly diplomacy will spark conflicts that I just really don't want to deal with when I'm in the hospital with a new baby after a delicate C-section (vasa previa).

Off to Walgreens...

[terra-pip]

The hand sanitizer is a great idea. I had my 2nd in a hospital and had to stay for 48 hours because of GBS..blah. And anyone who came in I just told them flat out.."could you wash your hands?" Most people get it and understand. I have a BIL who is the type who thinks his kids aren't sick even if they have green junk running down their face. With my second he was a little put out that I said no to kids other than my oldest in the room...but oh well. I have had my kid and my kids since that birth sick so often on account of his kids that I just have to be that way.

I'm more strict about this in the hospital setting. At home less so...but I still ask. Especially my MIL because she works in a clinic. And I say no mouth kissing...you would be amazed at how the older people...great grandparents etc still think it's okay to smooch babes right on the lips. I don't even do that and it's my own kid!! If I see a older relative moving in...even with my 7 year old, I say "plant that kiss on the cheek or top of the head, please!"

[Terrilein]

If I were giving birth in the hospital again, then I'd insist on the hand sanitizer, too. Hospitals have the nastiest germs and even visitors pick them up from door handles, rails, whatever. At home, I probably wouldn't insist unless there's a really good reason for it. And anyone showing up with a cold or any symptoms of anything other than perfect health will be shown the door. It's just so inconsiderate to knowingly expose a newborn when it can be avoided.

[somegirl99]

Originally Posted by nervousnelle

I totally get the "people shouldn't be offended" responses, and I do suspect that some mommy-bear instinct will spring up inside me, because I've been feeling it all along, but I just know that anything but friendly diplomacy will spark conflicts that I just really don't want to deal with when I'm in the hospital with a new baby after a delicate C-section (vasa previa).

If you do find that someone does get offended, just blame it on the doctor. "Sorry, doctor's orders." I'm sure the doctor won't mind.

[mysticmomma]

how about hand them the hand sanitizer before you hand them the baby?

[expat-mama]

Originally Posted by EMandM

I bought the foaming hand sanitizer for every room and plan on either handing them the sanitizer before I hand over the baby, or just saying "Sure, the hand sanitizer is on the nightstand/coffee table/desk right there."

My plan too for home and the hospital. I was telling DH that after the birth when we are in the hospital I'll even have the nurses etc. use sanitizer before coming near the babe. He was skeptical at first, but really when you think about it, they are the ones most likely to have germs on them from other patients, hospital surfaces, door handles, etc. Blech. If I'm polite about it, I don't care if anyone is offended- that's their problem. Ugh... I hate hospitals.

[PapayaMom]

I would just mention that although it seems common sense try to avoid those that are using hand sanitizer putting their fingers in baby's mouths if it is alcohol based. People are very weird about what they think is acceptable to do to a wee one. Small amounts of hand sanitizer can be very dangerous if ingested. I just bought some babyganics brand since it is alcohol free.

http://marloelaine.com/hand-sanitize...hidden-dangers