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Front Seat Angst - Page 2

post #21 of 23
OP, I understand where you are coming from. My DSS used to sit in the front seat with DH (before I would have permitted him- but this is DH's parenting decision, not mine) and when we got married it was obvious, maybe because of what DH had said to him or maybe because the same was true at DSS's mother's house, that I would sit in the front seat and he would sit in the back. I consider myself an attached parent, but I do not strive for a complete sense of equality between kids and adults in my family. DSS was 6 when we married, btw, and is now 14. !

I also understand that it is a principle thing for you. I don't mind if I decide to give my front seat to DSS, but if he expects it (or even asks for it) I get very irritated.

I think that this is a harbinger for later issues in your stepfamily. Your DH will often have the desire to 'protect' DSS from you, but you and he have to be united as any other parenting unit does. Have a conversation with your DH and express to him how this makes you feel. Your DSS can sit inthe front seat when it is just him and his father, but adults sit in the front before children (especially in a two door car! I would urge you to consider purchasing 4 door car). Explain to him why this is an issue for you. If he is not interested in listening or working through it with you, I would expect that other, larger issues will become problems as DSS gets older-- chores, allowances, other money issues, etc etc. If your DH doesn't take the lead with your DSS, then it DOES pit you against him, and that's not an appopriate dynamic. You are not DSS's mother, and he will never see you as his mother, which is fine, but it means you have less leverage (in my experience) than does a natural parent.

Hope this helps.
post #22 of 23
For me it would be a safety issue. My kids won't sit in the front seat unless there is an extremely good reason why they ought to (motion sickness and a 15 year old getting ready to learn to drive come to mind). If I had a larger vehicle, I would sit in the back too and no one would sit in the front passenger space.
post #23 of 23
Originally Posted by RaeEllen View Post
I should point out, there is no way on earth DH would be sitting in back while I sat in front with DSS.
Have you asked him why he wouldn't? And why he expects you to when he wouldn't?
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