DH is making me nuts!

[newmamma_aug07]

Ok so I need to vent.

I've got 2 years left in my PhD program, DS is almost 3, and we are going to start trying to get preg next month. We are taking a brief weekend trip to see a friend of DH and I told him it was important to me that DH not excessively drink with this friend (who is an alcoholic) because we will be trying to conceive soon. DH got mad and said it was "inconvenient" that we will be trying to conceive so soon after seeing his friend.

Makes me feel that the freedom to drink is more important that having another child. I'm ready to say "fine, we won't have another kid if it's so important to you."

Also, this is just one fight in a list and I'm wondering if I even want to keep this up...true we're in a seriously stressful situation with me in school and him in a job he hates. But how do you know when it's enough?

[*MamaJen*]

Honestly? I think going on vacation and having a little bit too much to drink a full month before trying to conceive is not an issue at all, medically speaking. In his shoes, I'm pretty sure I would feel unreasonably controlled.
I do think that if you're generally not happy with your relationship, you tend to perceive little things as big things.

[mamalisa]

It's not something that would have even crossed my mind when we were ttc.

I'm sorry you feel disregarded though, that's a crappy feeling.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

Originally Posted by mamalisa

It's not something that would have even crossed my mind when we were ttc.

I'm sorry you feel disregarded though, that's a crappy feeling.

Yep. Is there more to this? It seems like there must be more to the story. And, if so, are you sure you want to be ttcing right now?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I understand the frustration about having your feelings ignored, but I confess to not understanding the underlying issue. Why is his having too many drinks before you are even officially TTC a problem? Frankly, even when you are TTC I'm not sure I see the issue. What am I missing?

[laohaire]

I don't know if a binge could affect sperm - though I could see it, who knows. But any given sperm is only a few weeks old so having a bunch of drinks weeks before TTC should be fine. I mean, unless he's going to drink enough to put himself into liver failure or something.

I would definitely hesitate before TTC in a partnership with problems though.

[newmamma_aug07]

Thanks for the reality check! I do have (slight) control issues! Feeling better...

[StephandOwen]

The night of drinking a month before TTC wouldn't phase me at all (of course, given it's a one time thing and doesn't happen every night and the person isn't an alcoholic).

Originally Posted by newmamma_aug07

Also, this is just one fight in a list and I'm wondering if I even want to keep this up...true we're in a seriously stressful situation with me in school and him in a job he hates. But how do you know when it's enough?

THIS would concern me greatly and would be enough to put TTC on hold at least temporarily. You're implying that you're wondering if you want to stay in the marriage? At the same time you are talking about TTC? Why would you TRY to bring another child into the world if you aren't sure you want to remain in this relationship? Don't you think you should work on your relationship first and then (if things go well and you are more confident in the relationship) TTC?