Was I wrong to stop talk about this?

[LynnS6]

We live relatively close to the area where Kyron Horman, the child who disappeared during a school science fair, disappeared. (Different school district, but only about 3 miles from our house.) So, it's been in the news a lot lately, and you can see signs.

I also have kids who are highly prone to anxiety. Dd (6) is in a routine where she's waking nearly nightly as it is. Ds (9) has been through periods of the same, and is definitely an anxious kid.

So, one of ds' friends was over yesterday and she said "did you hear about that kid who disappeared during the science fair?" Dd wasn't in the room, so I said to ds' friend "I don't want to talk about this now. I don't want to scare dd." The friend's mom doesn't filter a lot of stuff that I would, so I just didn't know where she was going with it.

I'm beginning to think maybe that wasn't the best idea. I'm sure ds has heard about it; I'm not so sure about dd. (They're both reading, and could easily read the newspaper headlines -- I've been recycling them ASAP when I can.)

Should I let ds' friends talk about this around my kids? I don't mind talking about it if my kids bring it up, but so far they haven't.

[pianojazzgirl]

I don't think you were wrong in shutting down that line of conversation. If you are really pretty sure that your dc have already heard about it or will hear about it then I think the best bet is for you to open the door for discussion with them. Maybe put out some gentle feelers (I'm trying to think of a way to ask about it without giving away exactly what happened but I'm having trouble - maybe other mamas will have some ideas) to see if they are already aware of the situation.

[zinemama]

I talked about this with my kids because I was sure they were going to hear about it at school, and in fact a letter was sent home about it (and they can read). I figured it was better to have the discussion with me first so that what they were going to hear would have some context. My kids aren't prone to anxiety, though, and reacted nonchalantly to the whole thing. They've only mentioned it once in the whole time the poor kid's been missing.

[Turquesa]

No, you weren't wrong. The way the issue came up, you were put on the spot and caught off guard when many of us parents would at least like a chance to rehearse how to broach difficult topics with our children. The only wrongdoing would be in avoiding the topic altogether with your children, but you clearly had no intention of doing that.