This biting has to stop!

[April Dawn]

I have a 13 month old who will NOT stop biting me. I started out trying to teach him not to with a simple "Biting hurts!" and removing whatever part of me he's biting from his mouth. He laughed like that was funny. I moved on to a sterner "OUCH" but that still didn't get attention. Lately, several times I have yelled at him "STOP BITING!!!" while pushing him away from me. I always feel badly about it when I resort to that, because I really did not want to parent by yelling, but I sometimes still end up yelling because he bites so hard it hurts and I just react without thinking. And when he gets in a bitey mood, nothing will deter him. Just now, it took me ten minutes of pulling away from him repeatedly and saying "no" before he would stop trying to bite my arm. My arms are covered in bruises from his teeth and I even have a few on my legs where he got me in the bathtub. I know he's working on his first set of molars right now, but this is ridiculous. It's getting to where if his face gets near me I cringe because I never know when he's just snuggling and when he's going to bite the heck out of me. Am I raising a baby or a rabid wolverine here? Any ideas?

[nextcommercial]

Well, lemme get my first thoughts out of the way.

At least it's you, and not another baby.

And...

At least he's still little, and not a two year old

And... I'll bet he's cute as a button.

So... anyway. He probably does think this is funny. Heck, to him, this is hilarious I bet. Plus, ya know... it feels good. Not just in a "I'm teething" sort of way. But, when you just love something or someone so much you kinda want to bite it. I know sometimes I can feel like that. I could bite my husband. Obviously, I don't because I'm not 13 months old. But, I have the urge.

I think that's where the term "I could just eat you right up" comes from.

I think moving him every time. Or jerking away every time will eventually make him stop. Just because you want to be gentle, doesn't mean you allow him to hurt you. You pull sharply away from his bite, and pretty soon, it will stop. He obviously likes making you yell. So, maybe stop that.

Try playing rougher with him too. He might need a little roughousing. I know my daugter loved a good wrestling at that age. Then it was "I'mgonnagityou!" She loved Imgonnagityou for YEARS.

[EzzysMom]

Give him something he CAN bite, ideally before he gets you. Then praise him for biting that. I find kids usually have a motivation/desire that is not altogether wrong (i.e. I want that toy!) but they use often use unacceptable ways to get it, and that's where you need to teach.

Nothing wrong with saying ouch when it hurts, genuine reactions can make the best impressions. Biting really really can hurt. I'd move away and disengage for a bit.

[poppan]

I had to do behavior modification type approach with DD to get her to stop biting (she would bite her brother whenever she wasn't getting what she wanted).

I say in a calm voice "We don't bite because it hurts" as I lift her up and remove her from the room. I set her somewhere else and she's free to go back, it's not even a time out or anything, it's just IMMEDIATE removal from whatever she's doing.

She didn't like being moved so she stopped biting. Hope you find something that works for you. I think the key is to make it no fun, no reaction from you, just the calm statement and an immediate removal / separation from you.

[Knitting Mama]

I was coming in to post what EzzysMom said. We went through this with my nephew. My sister dedicated a throw pillow to him, and every time he bit, she redirected him, saying "If you want to bite, bite your pillow." There was nothing negative about it, no "DON'T BITE!" or anything like that, just complete redirection.

[April Dawn]

Thank you for the suggestions. These are much better than the suggestions I got from some family and coworkers that I asked (their suggestions were mostly to yell at him very sternly when he does it. One coworker actually suggested that I smack him on the cheek for it - ack!). I will really, really try not to react beyond redirecting his attention. I do think that getting a reaction is interesting to him, so it's not helping matters for me to react. We have some of those cold teething toys for him but they don't really interest him. I like the pillow idea, I'll try that! Thank you!

ETA: And he's DEFINITELY cute as a button, nextcommercial - thanks for reminding me of that when I was feeling frustrated with him!

[HappyHappyMommy]

At times when my DD is teething, she hasn't tried to bite people, but she sometimes tried to bite other things...like the table! We too found that redirection worked very well. We've done lots of "I see you want to bite! Here's your teething toy!" We tried some of the hard teething items (with BPA free plastic) and she didn't really like those. but my daughter loves the teething bon bon: http://www.dressmeup.ca/products/org...eething-bonbon. It can be cold, but it's not as cold as plastic items and it's more flexible.

[coffeegirl]

I don't think that it has to descend to yelling. But a stern "no" when the baby bites and then either putting him down (if you were holding him) or moving away from him if you weren't might get the message across.

[quietserena]

If he is biting when he isn't frustrated could it be that he is trying to kiss but doesn't know how? My older would sort of gnaw on me about that age when she meant to kiss until she learned how to purse her lips and kiss.

But yeah at that age, need immediate redirection. They are still young enough at that age that you can usually distract them pretty easily until they get some of that impulse control down.

[yara1]

I think this is a short "stage" and should be finished in couple of month (judging from what I experienced). Be careful however, at a playground... My son scratched a girl, not much, but I was ashamed