Who do you talk to?

[dianna11]

When you feel down, what do you do? Do you talk to a friend, a family member, try to deal on your own?

I'm feeling so lost, and I don't know where to go with it. I don't feel like I have a lot of super close friends that I want to 'dump my crap' on - I just don't want to sound... negative, I guess. I don't get a lot of time with friends, so venting about troubles seems like a waste of time.

I don't have any siblings, close relatives and I just generally don't want relatives, or friends for that matter - seeing my DH in a negative light - and I guess minor grumblings are none of their business.

I just feel so alone and frustrated.

[Turquesa]

My therapist. It's sooooo worth the $15 copay. I know it's not a personal relationship, but she helps me work on my personal relationships so that I can form some that enable me to talk openly with people. (If that makes any sense...) It had to go to a couple of therapists to find the right one; it's OK to be particular.

I realize that posting online is somewhat impersonal and only second rate when you're trying to connect emotionally with other people...but until you find such people in person, you can talk here.

[mexicali mami]

I would say here is a great place to vent and not feel so alone. I have a hard time with it too. But I am always surprised at how many people are so giving with their time and energy and genuinely want to help out a stranger in need. Maybe if you feel like you don't want to just "put yourself out there" for everyone to see, find one that you can PM and take turns listening to each other. I have tons of time right now and lots of issues to talk about, if you want we can take turns. Oh, and good job for not putting it all on friends and family. I make that mistake too often. It really isn't any of their business and once you reveal the negatives of your partner, you can never take it back. I also second a therapist if you have the resources.

[lilcrunchymama]

I am guessing from your post that some of the things you feel you need to talk about include negatives about your DH. If so, I would suggest going to see a counselor/therapist. Especially one with a background in marriage counseling. That way if need be, your DH can be included in the discussions in the future in order to work something out or make you feel more at ease with maybe even discussing/talking with him about anything.

If you just need to get anything else off of your chest, will your DH listen to you? Maybe tell him not to offer any criticism or advice, but that you just need an ear. I often feel very relieved to just get it out, and my problem is finding some one to just listen. My SO is good at that. He likes to offer advice, though, and sometimes I just have to tell him I just want to talk with nothing in return.

I also will talk to my mom. She has been through a lot of what I have and she always makes me feel better. If you don't have that type of relationship with your mom or if she is no longer with you, then even finding someone here on the message board to connect with that may have similar griefs would be an excellent thing. Connecting with people online isn't so much impersonal if you strike a chord with them that they are familiar with themselves.

Good luck and I hope you find some output. I know what it feels like to be down and just needing to get it out.