Need help with dates - very confused!!

[SmtmsAlwys]

Okay, I'm hoping someone here can help me. I posted this on another forum but all I did was stump everyone there.

Along with my super fun - and totally unwarranted due to the standalone ER using the wrong size bp cuff which resulted in them hospitalizing me for having a sky-high bp - trip to the hospital which got me an ultrasound since they couldn't find the heartbeat with the handheld doppler. The ultrasound put me at 8 weeks 1 day (as of yesterday, Monday, 21, June 2010).

Now here's the part where I'm really confused. We had sex April 2, but ovulation test was negative. The only time we had sex in April that was anywhere near my ovulation was 9, April. I tested myself later that day and tested positive for ovulation, as well as April 10, 11, 12. I didn't test on 13 but did again on 14 and it was negative. We had sex again 18, April but that was well past ovulation. My TCOYF program then pegs me as being pregnant 1, May after I plugged in the positive pregnancy test I took 29, May.

I had a period that wasn't really like a period April 22, 23, and 24. Looking back, I figured maybe it was implantation bleeding, but I just really don't know now because the dates don't seem to add up!

No sex until 9, May and even then, that was a careful time because I thought I should be ovulating.

The bleeding that I had April 22-24 was next to nothing. It was like the super light "periods" I always have before I figure out I'm pregnant. It just didn't click for me because I thought it was due to the cloth pads I was wearing - a lot of women notice their period gets lighter and shorter when using cloth.

With the other three pregnancies, I "knew" pretty quickly. With this one, I finally took a pt when my period was several days late. I really didn't know what was up for sure this time around. I just really didn't have the "symptoms" that I've always had with all the others...

Normally, lack of symptoms would make me think that I was going to miscarry as that's what happened with two pregnancies before where there were no symptoms, but the ultrasound in hospital most definitely showed a heartbeat.

[littlest birds]

If your 8 weeks the conception date would be around May 9. Not sure I understood everything you wrote but think maybe I do. The date would be from your last period rather that conception in most cases as far as I know.

Is that the issue?

ETA Maybe TCOYF is giving you a similar start date for PG to match with doctors' approach? Also you would not have been PG April 24 yet if eight weeks now.

[SmtmsAlwys]

The sex we had on 9, May would have involved us being careful (so as not to conceive) because we thought my ovulation should have been there. When I later did my ovulation tests, they were negative, as though I didn't ovulate in May at all.

[Nutter]

Perhaps in April your body prepared to ovulate but didn't actually ovulate, so you had some light anovulatory bleeding April 22-24. The kits predict that ovulation is going to occur right? So you could theoretically get a positive OPK, but then not actually ovulate that cycle. The test could also have given you a false positive re: ovulation?

Then maybe you ovulated in early May, before you tested, & got pregnant when you DTD May 9? You tested after May 9 and it showed you weren't ovulating - if you had already ovulated before May 9 when you dtd the test would come back negative. You could have ovulated as early as May 4 and still get pregnant May 9 - those stubborn little sperm can hang on for days!

Ultrasound dating isn't perfect, so I think this scenario makes sense...
Maybe??

[littlest birds]

Originally Posted by sarahthedoula

You could have ovulated as early as May 4 and still get pregnant May 9 - those stubborn little sperm can hang on for days!

Not true. Sperm may last days but eggs do not. They live less than 24 hrs IIRC and it takes some time for sperm to reach the eggs. Only BD before or right when you O (maybe one day later but not so often) is likely get you PG.

That said you could have DTD May 4 and get PG if you O later even as late as May 8 or 9.

Are you talking about taking OPKs after you may have O'd? You say when you later did OPKs they were neg--I would expect them to be neg after O. I must be reading wrong here? Also OPKs definitely can miss ovulation even if you are taking them twice per day which is how often TTC ladies usually do them. Maybe you can clarify?

If your 8 week date is even close to right then your "careful" BD was the one. And you obviously O'd in May. I am not seeing anything here that suggests that you did not. There is nothing confusing about the dates to me--everything looks exactly right for a May 9 conception.

If you had in some way gotten PG from Oing around April 13/14 (which April OPKS suggest) then you would now be twelve weeks PG. And it's pretty safe to assume you can't get PG from BD 5 days after Oing such as April 18. Nothing suggests here that you conceived in April. Nothing except the light period. That's not enough. I just had the lightest barely beyond spotting/mostly spotting period ever in my life on a confirmed ovulatory cycle and I am not PG. Light periods can just happen.

[texaspeach]

you conceived on or around may 9. that date matches up with being about eight weeks pregnant. there is a margin of error with u/s dating, but before 12 weeks that margin is a few days not a few weeks

you said that the tcoyf program said you were pregnant on may 1, but are you using your basal temperature? if you're just entering cm and opk info that isn't enough to confirm ovulation.

[Nutter]

Originally Posted by littlest birds

Not true. Sperm may last days but eggs do not. They live less than 24 hrs IIRC and it takes some time for sperm to reach the eggs. Only BD before or right when you O (maybe one day later but not so often) is likely get you PG.

Oh duh. You do recall correctly - eggs live about 24 hours; sperm up to 5 days in ideal vaginal conditions (less than that if the environment is 'hostile').

[SmtmsAlwys]

To answer some of the questions: I'm usually 85-90% certain based on cervical mucous. I always test for ovulation as a backup when I'm certain that I'm ovulating. I used to do my temps while I was breastfeeding but my temps were all over the place, there was nothing to be shown. I just never got in the habit of doing it.

The problem with the 9, May conception date is that I know we were careful since I knew I would have been ovulating around that time. I'm not sure if there was even vaginal penetration due to that fact since a lot of times when I'm ovulating, instead of condoms, we opt for other alternatives.

[littlest birds]

I don't know

It does sound pretty careful but still everything does point to that day, it had to have happened despite your cautiousness. I couldn't say exactly how. Penetration (you're not sure, so...), something on a finger or (?), it's not my business at all exactly which part were where but it was something. You wouldn't be PG 8wks if you hadn't both O'd 6 weeks ago and gotten sperm in your vagina 6 weeks ago. The OPKs missed it either by timing or just not picking up the hormone.

I have been TTC many months with poor chances so I can't help wishing it were me PG and how grateful I'd be...

But, it sounds like you were TTA so if you were truly TTA and not happy to be PG I am very much sorry you are going through this after your effort to avoid and hope everything turns out okay for you.

[SmtmsAlwys]

We were TTA but we're okay with it. The timing could have been a bit better, but it's okay. I'm actually pretty excited about it. I had wanted one more kiddo. I hope I didn't sound as though we didn't want this baby. I've just been very perplexed trying to figure it out!!

[littlest birds]

Well then congratulations! I guess that is one baby who really wants to be with you and will leap tall buildings just to be in your family.


Our youngest was conceived 6mos. before we planned to try and no regrets ever though the timing wasn't good at all. But we were just bad at TTA back then, no confusion with our oops. That timing difference changed my life. Happy then. Still happy.

H&H 9 mos. to you!

[littlest birds]

Originally Posted by SmtmsAlwys

We were TTA but we're okay with it. The timing could have been a bit better, but it's okay. I'm actually pretty excited about it. I had wanted one more kiddo. I hope I didn't sound as though we didn't want this baby. I've just been very perplexed trying to figure it out!!

Oh, no, it doesn't sound unwanted. I just thought to myself that there is not so good timing and horrible timing. I figure some folks may have really important serious reasons to TTA and even though they would love that LO would be pretty upset as well about whatever else they'd be facing. Like something really rough about the living situation making it unsafe, some serious health problem, really bad financial survival worries IDK. Not sure exactly what those reasons would be just it seemed some people maybe have them and I would simply hope those things would turn out okay. You maybe seemed upset, who knows why, I thought maybe you were facing something really difficult is all.

Sorry if that was weird.

Good night

[SmtmsAlwys]

Originally Posted by littlest birds

<snip>You maybe seemed upset, who knows why, I thought maybe you were facing something really difficult is all.

<snip>

I was a little upset but not why you might think. I had actually thought we were further along - like 12 weeks! - so here I was all excited thinking I was almost out of the first trimester - plus I had kinda hoped that the baby might be born in January on my father's birthday... It's odd really. It's gotta be hormones because I just feel as though I'm doing a bit of mourning. I don't know. Silly, I guess.