If you have 7month + old-- Can you let me know if my son is behind? *added update post 13*

[texmati]

I came across this site (the page is from the CDC.) DS can do all of these milestones (now at 9 months) except for the language ones.

Do these milestones sound like something your little one could do at 7 months, or even 9 months?

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/m...tones-7mo.html

Specifically, my son doesn't know his own name, doesn't understand no, doesn't really react differently when we talk in a happy or sad voice.

He does make sounds, and he does make happy/sad/frustrated noises.

[sky_and_lavender]

My daughter's almost 10 months.

She does seem to know her name and has for quite a while, but I'm not sure she recognizes "no" even now. We don't say it to her very often. (She does hear me say it to the dog and cat way too often, though.)

She definitely responds to vocal tone and emotions in the voice, and makes sounds to express her emotions. I have to watch the tone of my voice and my own facial expressions carefully because they really seem to affect her mood. It's been that way for quite a while.

I wonder whether there are any differences between babies of different sexes...

EDITED to add: She's been "ahead" on most milestones, so she's not necessarily typical. I agree with Friendlee that they all develop at their own paces. And early or late development doesn't mean that much most of the time unless it's part of an ongoing pattern.

[Friendlee]

I think this sounds about right. However, my daughter doesn't understand "no" because I only say it maybe once a week when I go out to get coffee because she reaches for the lid and it's hot. But she isn't mobile yet and she just never hears us say, "no".

If my dh and I were really yelling at each other, I think it would scare her and she'd sense that it was bad. But, again, we don't really yell or get mad. We're generally happy and that's all she sees. I've never actually experiemented with a mad face or tone, but my guess is that she'd laugh at me. *shrugs*. I think she'd understand those tones more if she had siblings and if she observed times of discipline.

She does know her name, but if she didn't, I still don't think I'd feel worried. I think if the baby is quite mobile and reaches 10-12 months and still doesn't understand their name and "no" then I might start to focus on practicing those things...and maybe would ask the ped, but still wouldn't worry. They all develop at such different paces.

[akind1]

DS doesn't know his name "Gabriel" because I never call him that. When I talk about him, I use "Gabe" He does respond to things I do call him: Pumpkin and Munchkin, and his Nana calls him Peanut, which I think he kind of gets is his "name".

He does respond differently to tones of voice, happy voices make him smile, angry ones upset him. (I haven't ever used an angry voice with him. I was yelling at the cat)

I don't think he understands NO even though I have had opportunity to use it, but haven't because I am too long winded it is more "don't pull the cord, baby" or "don't touch that, it's hot" etc

He has just turned 7 months and isn't mobile yet . . .I am sure the NO thing will take care of itself

[angelachristin]

I'm from your DDC, my DD turned 9 months on 6/21. She does everything on the list. I think understanding no is a lot different than understanding it and not doing what you are saying no about! If my DD is about to grab something bad and I say "No!" she will look up, startled, think about it for a moment, and then seemingly decide "ah, forget you!" and go back to grabbing for it. She definitely knows her name. She will look happy and excited if you talk to her in a happy voice, or get scared/sad if we are talking in mad voices. She will usually cry or try to hide on me.

[texmati]

Thank you so much for all the responses. I know I"m probably worrying for no reason, but I don't know any kids his age IRL to compare to. We will bring it up at our next well baby (next week).

We (immediate family and extended family) normally call him the same nickname, and quite a few people have noticed or asked about him not knowing his name.

Saying no in a stern voice gets no reaction, nor does pretending to cry or making a sad or mad face.

The reason I had started looking for these kind of milestones online was because DS seems super interested in repetition and how mechanical things work. (cars moving, blind being opened and closed, books being opened and closed, toys rolling on the ground).

He also does a lot of grunting and jerking, which I've never seen another baby do. But then, I haven't seen a lot of babies in general.

*Sigh*, I"m going to try not to worry until we see our pediatrician (who hopefully has see a lot of babies!) My sister said to tape the jerking around and bring it into the appointment. hopefully it's nothing.

[tzs]

Originally Posted by angelachristin

I think understanding no is a lot different than understanding it and not doing what you are saying no about! If my DD is about to grab something bad and I say "No!" she will look up, startled, think about it for a moment, and then seemingly decide "ah, forget you!" and go back to grabbing for it.

ha ha! totally!!!!
"no" here means it's something really good.

[2boyzmama]

Tex, you're a bilingual family, aren't you? Children raised in bilingual homes are often a bit delayed initially in communication. Their little brains have to sort out two languages. It is perfectly normal, and nothing to worry about. And please keep up both languages! It will eventually benefit him hugely, even if initially he appears delayed.

But to answer your questions...Gavin (who was the last in our DDC to be born) does respond to tone of voices (even if not directed at him, if he hears me yelling at his brothers, he starts crying, which breaks my heart!) He definitely responds to happy/sad. Not sure if he recognizes his name, with five people and three animals in this house, there are a lot of names used all day long! And I"m not sure that he understands "no", but again he does respond to the tone of voice. He isn't mobile yet, so I haven't had to tell him no much!

Remember that not all development is on a nice curve. He may have a big jump in gross motor skills, and nothing in speech. Then the next month he might have a big jump in fine motor, but his speech is still lagging behind. Once he gets over the "newness" of his newfound gross and fine motor skills, he'll take a break from that and focus on speech. He may even have small periods of regression, he'll practice and practice and practice a new skill, then seemingly not do it for a while, content that he mastered it, and instead focussing on something else (or just taking a rest period with little to no development at all).

All of that is normal!

Your LO's interest in mechanical stuff may just be his visual-spatial skills making a sudden leap forward. Same with rocking, he may be developing depth perception, so the world is suddenly looking new to him. Gavin does a lot of rocking, and a lot of head shaking, sometimes I think he's almost making himself dizzy because he likes the sensation of it!

So mention it to the ped, but then try not to worry!

[tzs]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

Tex, you're a bilingual family, aren't you? Children raised in bilingual homes are often a bit delayed initially in communication. Their little brains have to sort out two languages. It is perfectly normal, and nothing to worry about. And please keep up both languages! It will eventually benefit him hugely, even if initially he appears delayed.

totally true. i had two bilingual two year-olds in my class last year. both had very minimal language and were "behind" their classmates. however, it was really obvious that they were just dealing with two languages and that once they "caught up" with english they would in essence be way "ahead" because they had mastered two languages. and it's true, this year as 3 year-olds they are both very verbal, no differences from their classmates except that they way more language packed into those little head of theirs. it really is amazing.

[Baby Mama]

Language
- Responds to own name
- Begins to respond to "no"
- Can tell emotions by tone of voice
- Responds to sound by making sounds
- Uses voice to express joy and displeasure
- Babbles chains of sounds

My DD is 9months old as well. She does not do the first 2 at all. Just this morning my DH and i stood behind her calling her name in all kinds of different tones, and NADA! However, we're not worried because she's such a crazy babbler and babies are so various in their milestones.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

Tex, you're a bilingual family, aren't you? Children raised in bilingual homes are often a bit delayed initially in communication. Their little brains have to sort out two languages. It is perfectly normal, and nothing to worry about. And please keep up both languages! It will eventually benefit him hugely, even if initially he appears delayed.

But to answer your questions...Gavin (who was the last in our DDC to be born) does respond to tone of voices (even if not directed at him, if he hears me yelling at his brothers, he starts crying, which breaks my heart!) He definitely responds to happy/sad. Not sure if he recognizes his name, with five people and three animals in this house, there are a lot of names used all day long! And I"m not sure that he understands "no", but again he does respond to the tone of voice. He isn't mobile yet, so I haven't had to tell him no much!

Remember that not all development is on a nice curve. He may have a big jump in gross motor skills, and nothing in speech. Then the next month he might have a big jump in fine motor, but his speech is still lagging behind. Once he gets over the "newness" of his newfound gross and fine motor skills, he'll take a break from that and focus on speech. He may even have small periods of regression, he'll practice and practice and practice a new skill, then seemingly not do it for a while, content that he mastered it, and instead focusing on something else (or just taking a rest period with little to no development at all).

All of that is normal!

Your LO's interest in mechanical stuff may just be his visual-spatial skills making a sudden leap forward. Same with rocking, he may be developing depth perception, so the world is suddenly looking new to him. Gavin does a lot of rocking, and a lot of head shaking, sometimes I think he's almost making himself dizzy because he likes the sensation of it!

So mention it to the ped, but then try not to worry!

Thank you, twoboys-- (your posts always make me feel better!)

We are a bilingual household, and we do a lot of the equivalent of 'spanglish'-- odd sentance construction, using different languages in the same sentence. For the most part we try to do one parent/ one language since I'm not comfortable at all in DH's native tongue.

When I mean that he doesn't respond to "No!" in a stern voice, I don't mean that he doesn't stop his behavior, I just mean that he doesn't respond; doesn' t look up, nada. Same with fake crying, yelling, or even me giving the 'death stare' I learned from my mom.

He is behind in his motor skills (not mobile, creeps seldomly but doesn't crawl, ect), but I guess that doesn't bother me as much since he's still in the range.

We'll see. Our ped is pretty laid back, which I normally like, but now as I'm getting more worried, I"m afraid that "let's watch and discuss at his one year appt" is not going to cut it for me.

[jdg]

Originally Posted by texmati

*Sigh*, I"m going to try not to worry until we see our pediatrician (who hopefully has see a lot of babies!) My sister said to tape the jerking around and bring it into the appointment. hopefully it's nothing.

Likely nothing to worry about, as babies often are a little advanced in one area and not quite caught up in another. If you are concerned, you can look up your state's early intervention program at the National Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center. I know that the early intervention program around here will come to your house, do a full assessment with your baby, and then discuss with you if they are within normal ranges and if not then how far out of normal ranges they are. They will also provide free or reduced-fee services if your babe does need them. I think this is a great service, even if your babe is right on schedule - it's nice to have someone come out and validate that!

[texmati]

soo.... we went to the pediatricians office. She feels that DS is in the low range of normal. Even with all my worrying, that word 'low' was a real punch in the gut. She said that she would be really worried if he weren't doing those things at his 12 month well baby, but to bring him back in 4-6 weeks for another appointment.

In the mean time, we are going to work with him on crawling, pulling up, calling his name, ect. The ped also said that being bilingual shouldn't make a difference until about 15 months or so.

this is OT, but DH is not taking it well at all. He was a little irritated before the appointment, and as we left, he asked the ped-- "if he's doing really well in 6 weeks, we don't have to come back, right?". It's true that DS does spend more time with DH, and is more adventurous with DH than with me. But still, DH couldn't say that DS crawls or cruises, or pulls up, or rolls from tummy to back.

*sigh* We finally agreed that it could just be a failure in our parenting, and that we would work on it. Everyone (DH and my mom, sis, ect) all are so insistent that DS is absolutely perfect in every way, a budding genius-athlete; and that anyone who thinks otherwise is full of crap. I guess it doesn't matter as long as we do the exercises and go the appointments, but I just feel alone in my concerns.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by jdg

Likely nothing to worry about, as babies often are a little advanced in one area and not quite caught up in another. If you are concerned, you can look up your state's early intervention program at the National Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center. I know that the early intervention program around here will come to your house, do a full assessment with your baby, and then discuss with you if they are within normal ranges and if not then how far out of normal ranges they are. They will also provide free or reduced-fee services if your babe does need them. I think this is a great service, even if your babe is right on schedule - it's nice to have someone come out and validate that!

jdg! thanks so much for this site. I don't know how I missed it last week, but I have pouring over the documents this morning. If things don't go well at the next appointment, I'll definitely consider it.

[confustication]

Originally Posted by texmati

jdg! thanks so much for this site. I don't know how I missed it last week, but I have pouring over the documents this morning. If things don't go well at the next appointment, I'll definitely consider it.

You know, if you are even a little concerned, don't wait. Have an evaluation done- just to have a baseline. I wish we'd involved EI earlier with my almost 2 year old, and it really isn't a complicated/painful process for anyone.

Oh, and I get that the family wants perfection, but it's your job to help everyone else understand that who is is IS perfect, they need to adapt their expectations to the person this baby is and will be. Maybe he will be the next Einstein and a starting quarterback all in one, but it's also totally ok if he isn't, and the rest of your family will not accept that unless you do and you make it clear to them.

[tzs]

i don't really have anything to say except the biggie which is that in NO WAY is your babe crawling or not crawling a reflection on your parenting. ugh!!!!! not possible!!!!

[Marylizah]

Originally Posted by tzs

i don't really have anything to say except the biggie which is that in NO WAY is your babe crawling or not crawling a reflection on your parenting. ugh!!!!! not possible!!!!

A big, no-- HUGE to the above.

This is not failure!! Failure is not caring for your child, or neglecting or hurting your child. Please, mama, give yourself a break, here. You have concerns, you are addressing the concerns, your goal (and your husband's goal) is to maximize your son's capabilities. There is no failure on *anyone's* part here.

Many hugs to you.

[DevaMajka]

Ds2 wasn't responding to no until in the last month or so- and he's 12 mos. As in, it didn't phase him in the least. He didn't look up, pause what he was doing, nothing. I don't remember when he was doing the other things (recognize his name, etc).

It's not a parenting failure . Everything they do at this age just happens in it's own time. If there is a delay, it's not related to anything you did wrong.

Ds1 didn't really talk until 21 mos. His pedi referred us to speech therapy. We didn't take him because we just knew everything was fine. (i had a feeling it had to do with him being a perfectionist or something like that. Sure enough, his kindergarten teacher says he's cautious and careful to get things "right").

My point is, that being behind may or may not matter, If you are concerned on any level, look into it further. But everything is likely to be just fine.

[nola79]

Originally Posted by tzs

i don't really have anything to say except the biggie which is that in NO WAY is your babe crawling or not crawling a reflection on your parenting. ugh!!!!! not possible!!!!

This!

[CookAMH]

I agree about the crawling/pulling up encouragement - that will happen when he's ready, and my DS didn't crawl until 11.5 mo and you can't rush it. But more interaction, teaching, yes that can happen and be very good!

We always said, Where's Ezra? as a game and he'd enjoy that as he learned his name.