12 months old - Lots of questions... Please help

[JStout]

Ok So I'm a first time mom. My son is 12 months. This year has been great. He's a very easy baby. But now that he's getting older I have a few questions. Please help.

#1 We waited until he was 10 months before starting any solids. Until then he was EBF. I started with homemade pureed veggies and fruits. He was interested in it for about a week. Then nothing. He would only nurse. Wasn't interested in the spoon. Now I've started giving him small pieces of different fruits and veggies. He'll eat them only if I feed it to him. I know he can feed himself because he eats his "cheerios" just fine. But the other food he isn't interested in. I just wondered how much food should he be eating at this age?

#2 I wonder how often does a typical 12 month old nurse? He nurses mid-morning, lunch, mid-afternoon (nap), evening, and to get to sleep at night, and 3 times during the night.

#3 What is a sleep schedule for a 12 month old? He won't go to sleep, either a nap or at bed time unless I nurse him. I've tried to put him down in his bed when he's tired and he screams his head off. I CANNOT do that anymore. I need suggestions.

I'm sure there's more but I can't think right now.

[Ava's Mama]

Hi there!

My DD is 16 months old.

1. We started solids at 6.5 months but she probably didn't really start eating well until 12-14 months. Now she eats lots all the time. Your DD will get the hang of it. I wouldn't stress about it. Kids are not going to starve themselves and if he is nursing still he is getting lots of good stuff from BM too! Next time around I am not going to start offering solids until the child is grabbing for it, I feel like I wasted so much time!

2. I think every kid is different. At 12 months my DD was probably still nursing every 2-4 hours. Now at 16 months she nurses first thing in the AM, AM nap, PM nap, bedtime and 1-3 times during the night.

3. Sleep is so tough. One HUGE suggestion that I have is to introduce a "lovey" to your DD. It serves as an indicator of bedtime and as something to cuddle and self sooth. Only allow the lovey for nap and bedtime. Create a routine...bathtime, nurse, book etc. Another good one is to have a mantra that you say at both bedtime and nap time...for example I always say "you go night-nights, mommy loves you, you go night nights". We first started working on putting DD to bed without nursing to sleep (sometimes she still does nurse to sleep, but it isn't a requirement anymore) when DD was 9 months old. What we did was get my hubby involved. So we did the bath time routine, got her into PJs, and then I would only nurse her for 5 or 10 minutes at which time my DH would come and put her down in her crib. The first night he put her in the crib and stayed with her while she cried for 5 or 10 minutes and he rubbed her back, said that he was there etc. The second night we did the same thing and she cried 5 minutes (with him right there), the third he put her down awake and walked out the door and she didn't make a peep. So, every night isn't perfect, but this is what we did. She certainly doesn't sleep through the night, but it is a huge relief that she can go to sleep on her own etc.

Hope that helps!

[CherryBombMama]

my ds drank BM from a bottle so i cant comment on actual nursing

but for the food, i say it was a good 3-4 months of trial and error before he started really eating. i honestly think he was just humoring me that whole time, kinda likesure mom, i'll let you spoon feed me today but tomorrow i wont open my mouth at all! Mwahaha!

seriously. some days he picked up everything himself and ate it all. some days i had to feed him or else he sat there looking bored. some days he acted like i was giving him poison and then there where days when he did nothing but play w/ the food!

[JMJ]

1- If he's healthy, I wouldn't worry too much about him eating solids. If his Iron levels are high enough and he's getting enough Vitamin D, he should be fine. I know a child who did not even start eating solids until after she was a year old. Just keep putting a variety of healthy foods in front of him, and don't worry about if or how much he eats. I would only be careful about giving too many carbs and sugars. Some kids will live on cherios and bananas if you let them.

2- There's really a wide variety of how much kids nurse at that age. Many mainstream parents are working to wean their children at about 12 months. Kids allowed to nurse as much as they want may nurse a few times a day or more than every hour. If he's gaining weight, I wouldn't be concerned, but I would be careful about not trying to reduce his nursing if he is not so interested in solid foods. If he's not getting many calories from food, he needs them from you, and he should get them as often as he wants so that he has the ability to regulate how much he eats.

3- Most 12 month olds require attention in the middle of the night and do not go to sleep on their own unless their parents have employed some sort of sleep training method. Trying to get him to change that could affect your milk supply and the total amount of calories he is getting. If allowed, many children will nurse to sleep for almost every nap and night until they are at least 3, and it is not uncommon for children to still use nursing to get to sleep at much older ages. If this does not work for your family, I have heard the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" recommended.

[lemonapple]

ds is 18 months, so I'll pass along anything I can remember about that time period :-)

Eating: We introduced solids around 6 months...mostly because ds was already grabbing everything off our plates and literally salivating while I would fix dinner! We did baby-led solids...basically just put everything we were eating during that meal on his plate and let him fend for himself. So, by 12 months, he was eating a square 3 meals a day plus 1-2 snacks a day of whatever my husband or I happened to make up. But, I think that's pretty unusual...even now he seems to eat much more than others his age.

I never worried about the amount of food though...since he was still nursing, I knew he would make up for whatever he needed through breastmilk.

Nursing: At 12 months, ds was walking, running, eating well, and never stopped moving, so this was right when our nursings started to decrease. I'd say first thing in the am, pre-nap, after nap, dinnertime, and a few nips here and there until bedtime...we cosleep, so I really have no idea how much he nursed at night, but I imagine it was a lot still. Mostly he just couldn't stand to be STILL long enough to nurse during the day.

Presently (18 months) ds nurses at wake-up, pre-nap, and before bed...some days there are a LOT more, and I still couldn't guess at how much he nurses during the night.

Sleeping: I've had the worst time making up any sort of sleep schedule for ds. Basically he just wakes when we do and sleeps when we do. If I try to get him down earlier than us, it's awful nursing back down drudgery until my husband and I go to bed, so mostly he just stays up with us. Napping has only recently become a necessary thing that HAPPENS...at 12 months, ds was refusing to nap...I could nurse him all day and he'd never have fallen asleep! He was staying up until 10pm and waking around 11am...cosleeping. Now, ds will let me nurse him down for a mid-day nap AND allow me to leave, but that took until a month or so ago.

[Baby_Cakes]

#1 - I wouldn't worry. That sounds perfectly normal. Let your DS self feed and keep nursing often, soon the balance will shift. It was probably around 15 mo or so that DD would choose solids before breastmilk. Keep offering solids, but allow your son to go at his own pace. It's still very new to him.

#2 - That schedule sounds pretty much exactly like my DD's at that age.

#3 - DD is 21 mo next week and still nurses to sleep for nap and bedtime. It's the only thing that gets her to sleep besides the car. It works, it's easy, it's comforting for her. It's the only nursing she still does.

What I've read (but haven't tried) is to start a routine w/a few things before sleeping, like sing a song, read a book, lay together, and end w/nursing. Eventually, eliminate the nursing. To me it sounds time consuming, but if/when you're ready for DS to wean, it might help.

[JStout]

Thanks everyone for responding. We co-sleep and I'm definately not ready to give that up or nursing. I'm just looking for some routine mostly in our bedtime schedule.

Right now our sleep schedule is he basically just sleeps when we sleep and wakes up when I do. But he does take a nap everyday. I don't have to fight him on that. The sleep things is ok I guess. Sometimes I just want some alone time at night before I get in the bed and right now we're not getting that because if I'm not in bed, he won't go to sleep.

[daniturtle]

For the sleep thing- yes, I would recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution. The author is co-sleeping-friendly and offers lots of different tips and solutions in a non-judgemental way. (Unless one is looking to 'cry it out' but that's not your issue!!!)

Creating a routine is a tip that helped us a lot- we had one starting when Thalia was about 6 months but around 12 months we changed it and made it longer - giving her more cues that sleepytime was coming. Around 14 months I decided I wanted to nightwean so I cut out the nursing to sleep which was actually fairly easy (about 2-3 nights of not happy babe) to do because we had the other parts of the routine which stayed the same. (Not that she's actually nightweaned but that's because of other stuff!)

So here's what our routine looked like at 12 mos:

1. change diaper
2. put pajamas on (with pajama putting on song)
3. brushing teeth (with song)
4. reading 3 bedtime books (these are exclusive bedtime books but Thalia gets to choose which 3 to read and in what order)
5. rocking and nursing to sleep (while listening to a lullaby CD- same CD every night)
6. transfer to bed/side-car crib

Honestly, we kept the crib side carr-ed until about a month ago! Whatever works, you know?

At around 13 months I knew that Thalia was down for at least a couple of hours once she transferred to the crib so this gave us time to ourselves to do whatever.

[gagin37]

Would you be able to get him down, then sneak away? I have to do that with my ds sometimes even now. I think at that age, I would get ds asleep, then transfer him to his own bed, and he would sleep there a few hours, then I'd bring him to our bed at his first waking. However, that did eventually stop working for us, and now he's in our bed full time.

[nukuspot]

My DD is 14 months and we co-sleep and she never sleeps alone, not even naps. Naps are either while nursing from me in my arms, in the stroller, or in the carseat. We go to sleep all together as a family every night, she wouldn't have it any other way. We are used to it and it's not a bad thing.

Her nursing schedule is exactly the same as your LO!

As far as food, some days she will eat lots, other days barely anything. She will always eat blueberries, beef, goat milk yogurt, and peas...At least for now. Everything else is hit and miss, but I feel like she is doing OK because I offer her anything I'm eating and she can decide if she wants it or not.

To me it sounds like you are doing great!

[Auraji]

1- We did BLW and DD started showing interest in food around 6 months, she mostly played with it, but always seemed to like a great variety of food. She has periods were she kinda doesn't eat well and nurses a lot, it's usually because of teething. Now at 13 months, she's eating plenty of food. I wouldn't worry though I think at that age babies function more on instict than anything else and they won't starve.

2. I can't really say how much she nurses because I nurse on demand and I can never keep track of tings, but it's a lot less than it used to be. I plan to go back to work soon, so sometimes I nurse her a bit, offer her some food and after she's done, offer to nurse again. She does love food a lot and everyone is always very amazed at how she eats.

3. I still nurse our DD to sleep. Our routine is usually bathtime, a bit of play if she's not too tired and then laying in the bed, cuddling and nursing. I'm glad because up until now I used to walk her to sleep, this feels like a relief. I usually sneak out of bed when she's asleep.
3.

[Blueone]

My son is just now turning 12 months in 2 weeks

1. We did BLW and he just eats how much he wants. Sometimes it's just a small amount, other times it's like tonight which was Large spoon full (this big spoon fulls he finger fed himself) of Mac and Cheese, a boiled egg (most of it), and half a plum. Other nights it might be half a piece of toast or some small amount of crackers.

Basically, toddlers are picky and growth slows down. So if they are feeding them self and stop I assume they are full.

2. Can't answer that, we couldn't breastfeed. However he drinks around 30 ounces of formula still. I'm letting him guide me on weaning.

3. Bed time is like this (it varies by 30 minutes depending on when he gotup from nap)
1. Eat dinner around 5
2. Play downstairs until 5:30 or 6
3. Bath time until 6 or 6:30
4. Bottle and cuddles
5. Upstairs, play Enya, turn on sound machine, cuddle, when almost ready to fall asleep I lay him in the crib and pat his back.

The laying in crib before fully asleep is a new thing so we are working on this. Sometimes it takes 2 times before I can finally lay him down and he won't fight. I'm hoping to work up to him laying down before he's dozing off, then hopefully someday it will be when it's bed time I can lay him down and slowly work to not patting him at all. I would love to see him fall asleep on his own someday...I'm aiming for 2 years on that.