Originally Posted by Bri'sgirl
*UPDATE* After reading through all of the replies and taking some time to really think about this, I came to a decision. There are many points of view on this, but I've decided that ds really needs me, and if feeding him (when I can) makes things happy in my house, that is what I will do. There are sometimes weeks between when he wants me to feed him, though sometimes it's every day. After giving it some more thought, it does seem to happen more often when he's not feeling 100%.
Someone asked if he goes to school, and he does go to pre-k. He eats just fine there and doesn't ask to be fed.
So, I will feed him when he needs me to, but I will also let him know that when I'm really busy, he will have to feed himself. I'm sure I can make the time, more often than not. Most likely, he will not be wanting me to feed him by the time he is in kindergarten, so I am just going to cherish him being my "baby" and not worry about the rest.
Well, you're probably right that he'll probably be done with this phase by K, but I'm the exception.
My dd is almost 6.5 y.o., and I still need to frequently feed her. (Yep, that's me, the coward who didn't speak up while everyone was saying it's not normal to feed a 4 year old.)
Random strangers at the restaurants often come up and complement me about what a "good eater", my dd is because they see her eating lots of veggies enthusiastically. Hah!
That's because I offer it to her, spoonful by spoonful. Yes, it is not unusual to find me spoon feeding my 6 y.o. I give her a bite, then she chews and swallows and immediately opens her mouth very wide, ready for more. In fact, if I am not paying attention and don't notice that she is ready for her next bite, she often grabs hold of my arm and steers the spoon, still in my hand, to her mouth!
And yet if I put the spoon next to the plate and expect her to feed the veggies to herself, she will just sit there and 30 minutes then 60 minutes will just pass by with nary a bite. I hate to use the word lazy, but my only conclusion is that although my dd is perfectly happy to eat unpopular healthy veggies, she is too lazy (or otherwise unwilling) to use her own hands to transport the food from the plate to her mouth. Part of it might be that she doesn't like to get her hands messy, so she doesn't want to run the risk of touching food.
I don't really know why she's like this, but it really doesn't matter. But I only have this one child, so I just feed her if I notice that she is not touching her food and keep a sense of humor, because when I think about it, it's pretty funny. (If I had more than one child, I'm sure I would go crazy and probably put my foot down due to lack of time.) For me, it's faster this way, and her diet is healthier this way. I'm not worried at all, and I'll feed her for as long as she wishes, I guess.
Needless to say, my dd is perfectly able to manage feeding herself things like ice cream, cake, pies, etc. in a timely manner.
She just finished full day K, and they only have 20 minutes to eat. I have no idea how she manages it, but she often does manage to eat her packed lunch.