Birth control PP (withdrawal?)..I need help

[Dixielane]

I'm 4.5 weeks PP and have had sex now 4 times since the birth of DD.. I am absolutely at a loss for what birth control to use longterm. And what to do between now and my 6 week post partum check up... DH and I want to have sex, but I keep getting SO PARANOID I am going to fall pregnant. I just stopped having PP bleeding. DH has tried to assure me he is 1000% confident on his ability to pull out (he pulls out well in advance), and he feels like its a reliable method, since before DD we had used this and never got pregnant till we wanted to.

We've tried condoms the last time we DTD, and it really sucked. I HATE condoms, and so does hubby. We've used every brand out there before, and hate them all. Each one always gives me little paper cuts down there, even when we use lube. I have to use so much lube, I wind up not feeling much because its a slip and slide!! And, if a condom breaks, I don't believe in using a Plan B pill, soooo...

I also really don't want to be on hormones since I am BFing. And I just don't like them!

SO I am wanting to know, really, is using the pull out method along with me breastfeeding, a reasonable amount of protection? I just want to relax with it. And if it is a decent amount of protection, what are the statistics using this long term? I am wondering what the stats on withdrawal are for one year of perfect use, basically if anyone has more info on it. It wouldn't be horrific if I did get pregnant, but I'd atleast love to try NOT to until DD is a year old.

If anyone can offer advice. This is really the only other board who won't think I'm insane for using birth control thats non-barrier, or non-hormonal!

[FloridaBorn]

Believe it or not, for folks who use the withdrawal method consistently with NO goofs, it's just as reliable as condoms.

You could start temping and charting... check out Garden of Fertility, or Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

[kJad29]

Alright. The pull out method doesn't work. There is pre-ejaculate fluid that your husband will be secreting during the act that contains sperm. So if you don't want a rude surprise at your 6 week checkup, I'd cool it for now until you can find another way to prevent pregnancy. My mother and her brother are 11 months apart due to the pull out method. My younger sister has her boys 14 months apart due to the pull out method to. It just doesn't work. It isn't even a good long term plan either since you can get pregnant at any time. Do you really want to risk it?

There are other non-hormonal methods that are very nice and work well. My husband and I used the Femcap and we both really liked it once I learned how to put it in. It's a cervical cap that you can wear for 48 hours. I couldn't feel it during sex and neither can my husband. We didn't get pregnant again until we wanted to and that was the month we decided to not use it and start trying to get pregnant. Also lactational ammenorhea or using breastfeeding to prevent pregnancy is also not very reliable because you may or may not be ovulating even though you aren't having a period.

If you haven't read this book Taking Charge of Your Fertility I would recommend either buying it or borrowing it from your local library if you can't afford to buy the book. It will tell you all you need to know about your period and how to track when you are and aren't fertile. Which brings me to using the fertility awareness method. It's basically tracking your temperature, cervical positioning, and cervical fluids to determine ovulation. It takes a couple of months to understand your personal cycle so it would be best if you still use another method of birth control before jumping in. The best part of this is that on the days before (except like 4 days before because sperm can live for many days in the fallopian tubes) and after ovulation, it's a free for all. You can have sex like rabbits and you won't get pregnant. We use that too in combination with the Femcap so that we don't have to use it all the time, just when I'm fertile and extra horny.

Also there is a IUD or intrauterine device which is a non-hormonal method of birth control. It's placed in the uterus and prevents the implantation of a fertilized egg so you basically have your period, don't have to worry about getting pregnant and you can have sex whenever you want. I know many ladies who get this and are very happy with it. Also, you can have it in place for up to 5 years so you don't have to keep putting it in and taking it out (virtually impossible really). Your doctor or midwife put it in place for you.

I think that's it for non-hormonal birth control. I know you and your husband want to get it on now, but please be careful if you don't want to get pregnant while having a newborn. You can even just call your doctor or midwife now for advice on this and they can give you information on the methods you can use. All the best and let me know how you're doing by PM.

[XanaduMama]

Withdrawal is HIGHLY effective...IF you use it correctly. The usual rule is to use another form of protection if ejaculation has occurred within the previous 12 hours. Otherwise, assuming your partner is, um, well controlled, and you're both committed to TTA, it works well.

We used it for 4+ years before deciding to TTC and got pg right away.

[*MamaJen*]

Withdrawal actually has a remarkably high success rate when used correctly. Basically, you can only use it once every twelve hours or so, and you would need to use a back-up method the second time around.
The way I understand it, pre-ejaculate does not actually have sperm in it. However, some sperm can linger if your partner recently ejaculated.
I have a non-hormonal (copper) IUD and really love it. Some women get really bad periods or cramps on it, others don't.
I don't do hormonal birth control either. It totally decimates my libido.

[rparker]

Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly.

Some experts believe that pre-ejaculate, or pre-cum, can pick up enough sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation to cause pregnancy. If a man urinates between ejaculations before having sex again, it will help clear the urethra of sperm and may increase the effectiveness of withdrawal.

Pregnancy is also possible if semen or pre-ejaculate is spilled on the vulva.

Source: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/hea...ethod-4218.htm

Less than 1 out of 100 women who practice continuous breastfeeding perfectly will become pregnant.
About 2 out of 100 women who use continuous breastfeeding will become pregnant in the first six months if they don't always practice it correctly.
Using breastfeeding as birth control can be effective for six months after delivery only if a woman does not substitute other foods for a breast milk meal
feeds her baby at least every four hours during the day and every six hours at night
has not had a period since she delivered her baby

Source: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/hea...eding-4219.htm

I would not rely on withdrawal if I did not want to get pregnant, which means that I (personally) would not rely on it if I had a child under a year.

I would only rely on breastfeeding as long as I was a) not pumping at all, b) the baby had received ZERO artificial nipples (including pacifiers), c) the baby had received ZERO supplements, d) I was never separated from the baby and e) didn't have a baby who STTN.

For myself though I would just wait until 6-8 weeks postpartum and get a copper IUD. There are other mutually pleasurable things you can do besides coitus. Pregnancy can completely kill your milk supply; from my perspective sex isn't worth that risk when nursing a child under a year.

[mizznicole]

Charting is a non-invasive way to space births. If you are breastfeeding on demand, your fertility is extremely low. By charting you can spot ovulation before the return of menses. Here's a link to KellyMom: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

Also, check out the book Take Charge of your Fertility.

[Twinklefae]

Definitely check out TCOYF, it's a fantastic book. That said, have you tried any of the Japanese brand of condoms? Many people find them far more comfortable.

Also, make sure that you are taking lots and lots of time for foreplay before you get started - it will take your body a lot longer to 'warm up' while you are nursing, and it doesn't really feel the same for a long while, and that's okay - your body's priority is on your baby right now, and it's just been through some huge changes. (Obviously, pain is not okay)

I personally wouldn't take any chances on having another so soon. While it's highly unlikely that your fertility will return anytime soon, it's no guarantee either. It has happened to others.

[CherryBomb]

What rparker said. I start charting as soon as my Creighton instructor okays it, because even following LAM perfectly, my fertility still returns at 3 months PP :/ Pull out method isn't acceptable for us for religious reasons, but even if it was, I wouldn't feel comfortable relying on it for BC.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by Dixielane

SO I am wanting to know, really, is using the pull out method along with me breastfeeding, a reasonable amount of protection?

I think so. It has worked for DH and I. And we're both pretty fertile people (conceived quickly, and come from fertile families.) He too is good at pulling out. &, Ha - I think it's an easier clean up that way!!

I didn't get my period back till a few days before DS's 1st birthday. He's now going to be 2 in a few weeks & we still only use withdraw.

All that being said, we wouldn't have risked it if we weren't going to be "OK" with pregnancy. But since we would have been OK with it, and the risk was small with the BFing + withdraw, we were comfortable with the decision.

I also hate condoms.

Years ago I tried a diaphragm & hated that too! ICK! You had to use spermicide - not sure if that's the case with a cervical cap as well - and leave it in for like 12 hours or so after sex. (Maybe only 4 hours, I forget, it was a long time ago.) Spermicide irritates my skin, and obviously that is disruptive to the whole act (cuz you don't want that on your mouth!) so I didn't find that much more appealing than condoms.

[terrordactyl]

pre-ejaculation only has sperm in it if your partner had not peed since the last time he ejaculated

[Mommal]

Withdrawal is effective- but all it takes is one slip-up on your husband's part to make you one of those 4/100 who gets pregnant using it for birth control!

How about a diaphragm?

Pluses:
- non-hormonal
- immediately reversible
- generally cannot be felt by either partner once in place
- effective
- cheap (cost of office visit to provider, diaphragm itself costs about $45-50, tube of spermicide is about $11)

Minuses:
- requires professional fitting
- must be refitted after significant weight gain or loss
- requires you to be comfortable touching your own vagina and finding your own cervix
- takes a few tries to master putting it in
- unless you put it in ahead of time, you need to interrupt lovemaking in order to insert it
- spermicide tastes yucky

[kltroy]

I think it depends on how badly you DON'T want to get pregnant again. Are you thinkign you'll have another child and just prefer a year or two spacing between pregnancies? Or do you think you might be done with kids? If it's the first one, I'd read taking charge of your fertility and use FAM method for preventing and spacing, with the knowledge that it's possible it might result in a pregnancy before you really intended.

If you really don't know whether you want another child, or you really don't want one for at least 18 months, I'd go for an IUD personally. I currently have a copper IUD b/c I don't like hormones, though the Mirena is ok with breastfeeding too. I figure if we decide to have a third child (we used FAM between our first two) then I can always just remove it, but we weren't sure about #3 and I didn't want to think about it.

[wombatclay]

moving to family planning.