Post partum..withdrawal method?

[Dixielane]

I'm 4.5 weeks PP and have had sex now 4 times since the birth of DD.. I am absolutely at a loss for what birth control to use longterm. And what to do between now and my 6 week post partum check up... DH and I want to have sex, but I keep getting SO PARANOID I am going to fall pregnant. I just stopped having PP bleeding, and the last few times we DTD we used the withdrawal method. DH has tried to assure me he is 1000% confident on his ability to pull out (he pulls out well in advance), and he feels like its a reliable method, since before DD we had used this and never got pregnant till we wanted to.

We've tried condoms the last time we DTD, and it really sucked. I HATE condoms, and so does hubby. We've used every brand out there before, and hate them all. Each one always gives me little paper cuts down there, even when we use lube. I have to use so much lube, I wind up not feeling much because its a slip and slide!! And, if a condom breaks, I don't believe in using a Plan B pill, soooo...

I also really don't want to be on hormones since I am BFing. And I just don't like them!

SO I am wanting to know, really, is using the pull out method along with me breastfeeding, a reasonable amount of protection? I just want to relax with it. And if it is a decent amount of protection, what are the statistics using this long term? I am wondering what the stats on withdrawal are for one year of perfect use, basically if anyone has more info on it. It wouldn't be horrific if I did get pregnant (we want many more kids), but I'd atleast love to try NOT to until DD is a year old.

If anyone can offer advice. This is really the only other board who won't think I'm insane for using birth control thats non-barrier, or non-hormonal!

Also - maybe someone can tell me more about using withdrawal + other methods..like spermicide, etc.etc. It would be nice to know I'm reasonably protected so I can enjoy sex, my worrying is totally ruining our sex life.

[JamieCatheryn]

If you breastfeed on demand all the time, giving no bottles or pacifiers, and your period hasn't returned you're about as safe as on hormonal bc pills for at least 4 months. After that, you can watch for signs of fertility as per the Fertility Awareness Method/Natural Family Planning, but before your cycles return you'll get many false alarms and it's generally harder to tell. Before ovulation (or when not actually having cycles, an attempt at ovulation), the estrogen increases so cervical mucus increases, the cervix softens moves up and opens a little, the breasts might get firmer, and the woman's interest in sex might increase. All signs that you're more likely to get pregnant that day so at least these times abstain, or use a condom or other reliable method to avoid. If you were taking your temperature each morning you'd find once you actually did ovulate the temp goes up for 3 days straight.

More info:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html
http://www.tcoyf.com/

[bbrandonsmom]

Hi, you may want to hop over to the charting to avoid thread-most of us use either w/d or abstain during fertile periods and there are some bf moms there who may have some more advice to you.
That said-yikes! I can't believe you are bd so soon pp, I didn't even have the thought to at that point
About breastfeeding as bc-all I can say, is for ds1 I didn't resume cycles until 10 months pp, but for ds2, they returned at 3 months. Yes, 3 months pp, and I was not expecting that. We co-slept, nursed on demand, no pacifiers, no bottles-nothing but breast. The only thing different between them, was ds2 was not a comfort nurser, and I'm assuming that made a difference? He would eat and be done, while ds1 would just stay on forever. It wasn't until about 6m pp did ds2 start to comfort nurse.

[annethcz]

For piece of mind, I'd suggest something like a diaphram. You won't feel it like you would a condom, but it would give you more protection than pulling out.

[Dixielane]

Originally Posted by annethcz

For piece of mind, I'd suggest something like a diaphram. You won't feel it like you would a condom, but it would give you more protection than pulling out.

But is withdrawal really a reasonable method, IF USED CORRECTLY? Im very interested in the stats on this, i think if it really has been proven as a good method, I would feel very comfy on it + another method like you said, maybe a diaphram or spermicide or whatever... I have heard withdrawal really only fails with user error, minus the occasional person who did everything right. I dont mind a small chance at pregnancy, but for the most part I want to space my kids out a little bit, and have my DD be 1 yr old or older before i get preggo again!

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by Dixielane

But is withdrawal really a reasonable method, IF USED CORRECTLY? Im very interested in the stats on this, i think if it really has been proven as a good method, I would feel very comfy on it + another method like you said, maybe a diaphram or spermicide or whatever... I have heard withdrawal really only fails with user error, minus the occasional person who did everything right. I dont mind a small chance at pregnancy, but for the most part I want to space my kids out a little bit, and have my DD be 1 yr old or older before i get preggo again!

I would go read the last 4 or so pages of the Charting to Avoid thread - we were JUST talking about it over there.

If you do withdrawal correctly it is only about 1% less effective than condoms.

[love4bob]

I'd probably do pull out with spermicide. I got spermicide as a prescription because I didn't want hormonal bc, but I wasn't completely confident in my charting yet. We were also using pull out too.

[javilu]

Look up "ecological breastfeeding." I would not be happy using withdrawal long-term, for intimacy reasons.

[mommyin2008]

We have used W/D prior to getting pg with DS with no oops for 2 years straight. Since DS...he is now 2 years and 4 months old. Used W/D the whole time...while Bfing and since he weaned over a year ago. We use it on my most fertile days with tons of EWCM and no pg scares. I got pg very easily two times prior not pulling out so seems we are pretty fertile. I would love for it to fail for us now, but I guess hubby is just too good about it. What really sucks is we just found out our good friends are pg with baby #3 for them using this method for over 2 1/2 years. I just dont get it. How come I dont get pg from using this method but she did. Her hubby said he pulled out every time they had sex. I would love a surprise, but I guess my DH is too good and self controlled. If you wouldnt mind a surprise, I would say stick with W/D. That on top of Bfing you should be pretty safe,,esp if you notice fertile CM, just throw in some spermicide. If you trust your hubby to get out in plenty of time, go for it. I know that no matter how into it or worked up my DH is or how drunk he is..lol...he would never forget to pull out or have a slip up, unfortunately..lol...but thats just how he is. He doesnt want another baby right now...unfortunately so he is real careful.

Good Luck!