Where will these kids go?

[cdmommie]

My Aunt just passed away in a car accident yesterday. She left behind 7 children (5 minors, 2 legal adults). I know in time we will have details worked out with the state and all but I am really trying to find out what I can now to be prepared.

3 of the children WERE foster children but 3 weeks ago my Aunt adopted them (it is finalized). However, her husband was not "on-board" with the adoption and does not actually want the kids. My aunt's biological daughter who is 19 is saying she is going to raise them. Unfortunately she has always had some mental delays due to severe abuse, so if the state has anything to do with it I don't think they would allow her to keep them, but I'm not 100% on that. So what happens next? We are willing to take them but we live in Texas and the kids are in Oklahoma and our Foster Parenting process has only recently begun. If my cousin can't take the kids or changes her mind.... do we even have a chance of caring for them?

Second, one of the kids is 14 years old. She does not know her real dad. If the step father does not want her to stay can she come to our home for the next 4 years or will there be some legal stuff to go through? I am really afraid she is going to run at this point just to avoid foster care and I would like to offer a better alternative, but I don't want to get her hopes up if it isn't possible.

The rest of them are 17 (18 in August), 19, and 21 so there is no legal worries with them.

Sorry if I sound ignorant here, I am just exhausted, worried and completely heart broken about what has already happened to these kids and now this on top of that has just burnt out my mind I think.

Thanks for any info...

[MommyKelly]

1st I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.

I think you need to notify the state agency only if they are going into foster care. Also I think "Dad" could just sign over guardianship over to you. I hope someone has more answers for you. Best of luck!

[queenjane]

I dont see why the state would get involved if the adoption is finalized, it would be like any other orphaned child situation, and since there is still a parent living, that is especially true. If you feel you could help with the kids, you could perhaps let the dad know that you are there and willing to have them stay with you for a bit if they would like. If the kids were willing to live with you and the dad agreed, he could just sign temporary or permanent guardianship over to you, via a lawyer. A private situation.

[cdmommie]

Thanks so much for the info!

[MissinNYC]

Yes, the state will not be involved unless any kids are still under state care/guardianship. Otherwise, the father is the legal guardian. I would call him and offer to take whatever kids you're willing to take, he sounds like sort of a dreadful person for "not wanting" his children, so they'd be better off with you, probably.

So sorry for your loss.

[cdmommie]

Update

After a week of our family all pitching in and caring for the children, the father finally had a 'breakthrough' I guess you'd call it. He suddenly was really truly NEEDED by these children. Without Mommy there, they really wanted to be with Daddy. He decided to give it a go and try to keep them on his own. He has done amazingly well. The first week alone was pretty tough on him, but he's doing awesome now. It's like he's a different person. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to form a miracle.

He's still learning some of the basics, of course, but he'll get there I think.

[Smithie]

Awesome, awesome news!!!!

... and if it doesn't work out, signing over guardianship to you or another relative (or anybody else on earth) remains an option, and doesn't involve the state. Keep those lines of communication open!

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by Smithie

Awesome, awesome news!!!!

... and if it doesn't work out, signing over guardianship to you or another relative (or anybody else on earth) remains an option, and doesn't involve the state. Keep those lines of communication open!

and

[HeatherAtHome]

[Snow~Pea]

Wow, I'm sorry for your loss. And I am so happy that things worked out for the kids and their dad!