UPDATE. I'm NOT happy!!
NOT SO GOOD UPDATE.
Today, MIL and I took the kids swimming. On the way home, DD calls MIL grandma and she scoffs "Hah, I'm not going to be called grandma until your mommy and daddy graduate from the university!". I told her that it was unfair and she insisted but we were getting out of the car so I went on my way. At the table, DD called her grandma again and she said the same thing about graduating
I told her that it was very unfair. She said something about how if DD calls he grandma now then it's like my DH never went to college and will never go to college and that she's been let down (uh.. something along the lines of her dreams would be "crushed" just with different wording). Talk about self centeredness... Ugh. I mean, good, have hopes for your kids.. but don't be so ridiculous and take it out on your grandchildren!
Then she the cherry on the cake. Or however that saying goes (I'm just so infuriated!!!)
DH got home and we were still sitting eating. DD called her grandma AGAIN. She said her load of junk about the graduating thing and my husband attemted to set her straight. She then exclaimed (and lied!) that my DH made a DEAL WITH HER! A DEAL!! In this deal supposedly
she gets to be called grandma after we graduate. What?! My husband exclaimed that there was no such deal, MIL tells him that "NO, you can't change your mind". DH was really confused. On TOP of this, she goes as far to say that she WILL NOT RESPOND TO DD if she calls her "Grandma". WHAT?! You're going to ignore my child because you don't want to be called grandma? DD doesn't have ill-intentions. Ugh. I don't even know what to say or feel right now.
Oh, and just a note:
For us, in DHs culture, "Papi" is usually reserved for fathers. DH and I were talking today and the main reason why we're NOT okay with DD calling FIL "Papi" is because MIL is fueling all of it- it's not just a name for grandpa, it's a name for grandpa that in HER mind doesn't make him seem like grandpa. I totally understand that in other cases it would be fine as a grandparent name- but MIL has different intentions behind it. My DD has been calling him Grandpapi anyhow.
This just stinks. We really can NOT afford to move out. We're in a good amount of debt and are trying to pay it off- so until that's done (probably not until the beginning of next year) we're stuck here.