Change of heart

[hoping4just1more]

Hmmmm, ok we probably all go through this but I am just a tad erked. DH decided to tell me this morning that he thought I should stop taking OPK's and just wait.

Um does he know me????? At all? I felt like he was telling me he didn't want to TTC anymore even though that was not what he said. I am already very upset that I am having issues due to the bfing and for him to say that to me is just a smack in the face.

I also am kind of annoyed with him because he often makes comments about how I should be happy with our two girls. Well I am happy. Very happy. It's just that he got what he wanted, a little me. I want nothing more in this world than to have a little boy that looks like my husband.

I could never compare my issues to those of you that have actually fertility issues, but I can only imagine what some of you go through. This is really torturous for me to not be able to concieve right now.

I feel like DH doesn't even want to do this. If he doesn't want to then that kind of puts a kabosh on the whole thing. Sends my dreams down the toilet. Maybe now just isn't the time. I can't concieve anyways right now and it sounds like he doesn't really want to anyways.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

[ZoeJane'sMommy]

Hang in there men can be jerks sometimes. I know you just need to vent but I promise it will all work out.

[Banana731]

men are so obtuse about certain things!

I keep dh out of the loop about most of the details. I just don't think he gets the effort it takes to figure out what's going on with the reproductive cycle on my part. It was too easy for us before. His contribution thus far has been going to buy HPTs and informing me that it's time for baby making (even if it's not actually time for baby making ) He's excited about having another and I figure the best way to keep that excitment going for him is not to stress him out about the "how." For that part we have each other here on MDC!

I hope your dh is just a little stressed, and comes back around!

[forthekids123]

I agree sometimes too much details dosn't work for men. Makes it seem more of a chore then fun.

I'm thinking that maybe you dh thinking that you are worring yourself too much over it. He is worried about you. Take it as a sign of his love for you, and do your opks in the bathroom behind closed doors.

Don't give up over it!!!!

[mamaw/two]

Originally Posted by forthekids123

I agree sometimes too much details dosn't work for men. Makes it seem more of a chore then fun.

I'm thinking that maybe you dh thinking that you are worring yourself too much over it. He is worried about you. Take it as a sign of his love for you, and do your opks in the bathroom behind closed doors.

Don't give up over it!!!!

I completely agree, don't let dh even know when you are o'ing. In my experience the less they know about any "woman stuff" the better. When we were ttc dc#4, dh got very upset if I asked to bd and he knew that I was o'ing, he said I was just using him for his sperm. When I quit telling him what was happening, he was happy to dtd and we got pregnant that very month!
DH doesn't even know I take opk's, I do it when he's not around and hide them in the garbage after they are taken.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by mamaw/two

I DH doesn't even know I take opk's, I do it when he's not around and hide them in the garbage after they are taken.

I did this with my last HPT though, because I was that I couldn't wait (11DPO) I ended up telling him I couldn't wait and took one anyway, so it was just wasted effort on my part!

[Drummer's Wife]

I agree with not bringing up when you are O'ing or taking OPK's. Maybe that will help?

I try to be discreet when I update my fertility friend from the app on my phone, but if DH looks over my shoulder he always comments about my cycle and when we will be working hard on #5. Clearly, he just gets excited about the what it takes to make a baby.

But I can see how too many details could deter a man and even make him second-guess. Hopefully yours comes around and doesn't change his mind for good.

[~Adorkable~]

one of the few things that my DH asked of my in the beginging of our journey was to please not make him feel like a sperm vending machine. he also got bummed if he thought i was stressing myself out.

so i was very good and quietly hiding nearly everything from him and he was helping me by not nosing around for stuff he rally didn't want to know about anyway.

the only thing he ever knew was when i had cramps or af came, he got sad at those times.

in the end i think this arraignment is one of the best things we did and one of the only things that got us thru nearly 3 years of the crap it took to get these babies inside me.



so i will say that your husband may be telling you more than just to stop the opk, he may be asking for more connection or less perceived stress or a number of things. respect that he is going thru this as well and if you feel like you need to take opk's, explain why to him and request that he respect that. in exchange you may agree to not do them around him and not to ever share the results.


do you have very long or unpredictable cycle that require opk's?