9 month old and sleep

[sugarpop]

What a joke!

It has gone from bad to worse. I am losing my mind and patience. I am jealous of the moms with a babe that sleeps and especially one that sleeps through the night.

Last night was awful...the worst so far. She went fell asleep at 9:25, I layed her down at 9:45 she was up at 10:08, I nursed her back down and she slept in my arms until 10:35 when I went to bed with her. We co-sleep. She was up again to nurse shortly after that and then awake from 1 to 5 only taking cat naps. Then the kicking started again about 7:30 and she was up for the day at 8:15. She will take a nap from 10 to 11:30 or noon then another short one from 3-4. I nap with her in the morning in my bed usually and then she sleeps in my arms for the afternoon nap.

If I put her down she looks for me within 15 20 minutes and wakes up again. I have NO time to do anything. She doesn't want to play on the floor with her toys, she cries for what appears to be no reason (I am extreamly sympathetic to her) and I am exhausted!

I don't know if there is help for me or if this a new reality that I just need to accept!

[tzs]

sorry about the sleep. it's so frustrating when they go from sleeping to not.

do you think she might do better in a separate room or even just a pack and play in the same room if that woudl be too much for her and to much of a PITA for you? does it seem like she's keeping herself awake because she doesn't want to miss being with you??

[nola79]

The kicking is the worst! You may be waking each other up....have you tried her with her own space but in the same room still?

[annettemarie]

This age can be really frustrating and test your patience and committment to parenting her to sleep. I don't know that a crib in a separate room would help, because you'd still need to get her asleep, and she'd still wake up looking for you.

I remember laying on the bed next to my little ones and patting their backs for a few moments after they were asleep. I'd slowly stop and just let my hand rise and fall with their breaths. Then on an "uprise" of their back I would remove my hand. I would also lift their arm and let it drop gently to make sure they were really in a deep sleep before I left.

As far as the kicking, we have a crib sidecarred to the bed. Usually my kids snuggle right up to me, but when the kicking becomes bothersome, I would move them more into the sidecar. We're still together and in touching and snuggling distance, but the kicking is less troublesome.

Truth be told, though, the kicking is probably going to happen no matter where she is and will wake her up no matter where she is. She's learning so many new things right now and babies at this stage often "practice" their new moves in their sleep. It can be really frustrating, but I promise it's just a stage and will eventually pass.

[Baby Mama]

Our DD is also 9months and about a month ago her already frequent night-nursings became more frequent and she suddenly started rolling and flailing while sleeping. In the meantime she's learned to crawl and is totally obsessed with pulling herself into a standing position. So as PP's have said, the poorer sleeping habits at this age probably have to do with milestones. I'm expecting her sleep to be poor for a while because she's going to learn to cruise then walk within the next...5months?

Argh...sleepy...

We've since sidecarred the crib so that my body is always blocking her from rolling onto the floor, plus it gives me a little more room to "sleep" in.

[kismetbaby]

sugarpop. . oh, I feel you! Things have gone from bad to worse here too the last two weeks. Last night, I'm pretty sure he woke me every half hour btw, kicking, wanting to nurse, sleep-crawling. I feel as sleep-deprived as when he was a newborn. It's really getting to me. Yesterday I broke down and cried (and then went to bed at 8:30) b/c it's just so draining and stressful to chase a crawler and get no sleep.

I'm really really hoping this is a dev phase and won't last very long. We co-sleep too although we are trying to transition him to a mattress on the floor next to our bed. But he wakes easily and often no matter where he sleeps. . .and only me (or rather my breasts) will put him back to sleep. He is VERY determined about this. I just don't know if we'll be able to change his sleep routine anytime soon. Sigh. And naps, yeah, he wakes after 30min unless I sleep with him. Sounds like we have similarly sensitive babes. I am reading Sleepless in America--I highly recommend it. She has a lot of advice for those sensitive sleepers.

Let me know if you find something that works/helps!

[sugarpop]

Now I am crying. Last night I wanted to cry. I feel alone and lonely. DH tries to help, but can't b/c Sophia doesn't calm for him and well he doesn't have milk (thank goodness! that would be another whole problem all together lol). I really thought that by now I would be sleeping, or she would be at the very least. DH thinks that we are the only ones dealing with this. And has commented that this isn't normal. Which makes me want to scream. Tell me there is a problem, that I already know exists, and then don't offer a solution. And tell me it isn't normal...sorry but what is? He has no gauge for normal and not normal. He has no younger sibs and seriously...he is a guy! He never babysat, he refuses to research or get on mothering and see what others are going through. I have DH but then I don't feel like I have his support. He wants to know why we bought the crib and expensive organic mattress, why we decorated the nursery. He doesn't want to cosleep forever, but I don't see another solution at the moment. The crib we have won't side-car, and I can't afford another. I have considered another mattress for the floor but won't that just mean I am sleeping on the floor with her?

OK overtired babe crying must go...nurse her more...every hour is exhausting!

Oh OH this is turning into a DH rant...sorry

[Baby Mama]

Oh yeah i hear you!

DH has complained about the exact same things but doesn't do so more often because i get reeeeeeal mad. And i also get resentful sometimes because i feel like i'm the one doing all the work in researching and caring for DD. Our DD isn't easily soothed by DH either because he has no boobs. And although he doesn't want to cosleep forever either, he knows i'll choose DD over him any day. Infants should not be sleeping alone if they want to be with their mamas.

So don't cry. How many of us mamas are in the same situation right this very minute? Check out the "Family bed and nighttime parenting" forum! There's a thread in there about someone else's 9month old not sleeping.

Is there anyway you can get a sitter to come in for a few hours, a few times a week to give you some time to sleep or do other things?

[kismetbaby]

I have some similar issues with DH over this. . .again I recommend the book Sleepless in America. She talks about "temperaments" and really makes the point that babes are born wired a certain way and that can affect how they sleep. And she gives good advice on coping with the different temperaments. (And she is totally against CIO and pro co-sleeping). It might help your DH read from an "expert" that some babies just have a much harder time falling and staying asleep.

Hugs mama. . .I am falling-down-tired today. But I'm sure we'll both survive if we just take it one moment at a time.

[chartreusevelour]

this is totally common, unfortunately. i am going through it too. i'm doing the mattress on the floor thing, and am able to sneak away. and i don't have to worry about him falling off the bed.

[kismetbaby]

Also, we did get a mattress to put on the floor for our ds (since we decided to keep our mattress where it was). . .he has been napping on it (as much as he'll nap anyway). But he wakes so much at night that I either wind up on that mattress with him or pull him back into bed with us. It hasn't seemed to change how much he wakes. We'll keep trying to have him sleep on it some of the time. . .but I don't envision him being able to sleep on his own through the night for a long time yet. Not that I mind that. . .if he'd just let me get a little sleep. 2-3 night wakings I could deal with. . .

[texaspeach]

9 months is harder for me than the newborn phase!

you are certainly not alone and I don't htink this is abnormal. there's even something called the "nine month sleep regression" - they're working on big things, walking, talking, teeth, separation anxiety so they sleep poorly.

[wombatclay]

This might sound crazy, but... with dd1 we actually bought a small (organic) pet bed. The kind that is sort of a rounded oval with soft fabric sides? And we'd use that for dd1's napping and "first sleep of the night" space when she was around 9mo-12mo. It was easy to move from room to room, the sides made dd1 feel snuggled, it was low to the floor and soft so I didn't worry about her crawling out of it, and it was less expensive than another mattress!

Now...this did NOT work with dd2... she basically would not sleep unless she was being held for a little over a year. I wore out an ergo carrying that kiddo and then at night she would wake the instant "mama's body" left her side. So I know the pain (Dh was willing, but she wasn't interested in dada). And the pet bed does sound a bit odd I know... but it may work and even the nice organic kinds are not that expensive when compared to a mattress.

Good luck and sweet dreams!

[angelachristin]

that pet bed sounds like a good idea!

I have a 9 month old too and I agree, it's just the age, what with the crawling, the standing, the starting to cruise and wanting to walk and learning to talk and the teeth and the separation anxiety freakouts...it is a ROUGH age! Mine takes all her naps during the day either in the stroller (morning nap, while I run, great for feeling better--sunshine and a tough workout, sounds counterintuitive when tired but I swear by it!) or in the Beco, which is usually her 12 pm nap and she will usually sleep for 1 to 1-1/2 hours. then she may take another short one in MIL's arms around 4, but I like for her not to so that she goes to bed earlier.

[cristeen]

Another 9 mo here that's dealing with similar issues. Is she teething? Growth spurt? Or is it developmental, do you think? There have been a few nights lately when I just want to scream, and my DH doesn't really get it either.

Tonight I tried for 45 minutes of screaming to get him down - arching his back, flailing and kicking. He was asleep for about 5 minutes, I snuck away and the screaming started again. As soon as daddy took him and put him on his shoulder, the screaming stopped. Hand him back, screaming starts again. Way to make mama feel good.

We've been dealing with this for several weeks now, along with a 5 am wake up. I had the shade shop out today to measure for black-outs. I've been literally exhausted to the point of dropping. There have been quite a few times where I put the gate up in the bedroom and let him crawl around while I catch another 20 minutes. Or I'll close us up in the LR and lay down on the couch - he let me have almost an hour the other day while he played quietly on the floor. Then the last week or so he's started refusing naps completely, and yesterday he napped, but only if I was wearing him, so I couldn't even sit down (did that one again today).

Honestly, I'm at the point of putting him in the car seat, going for a 15 minute ride to knock him out, parking it in the garage, putting the baby monitor in the car and go in the house and take a nap. At least in the car he'll usually sleep 1-2 hours. I do NOT know how WOH moms do it.

The pet bed is actually a really good idea. I may try that one.

[star*mora]

i could have written your post - so no advice but am with you down in the trenches of dealing with a 9mth old and a massive lack of sleep!

[octobermoon]

9 mos here and dealing with the same thing. you're not alone. the past couple of days have been really good though, so hang in there you may atleast get a break. i'm not fooling myself into thinking this reprieve is permanent but i'll take what i can get.

[sugarpop]

my past few days got better too! I cut out dairy...again! I was eating ice cream in the evenings, I had experimented for several weeks and all seemed well. But after giving up my nightly dose of Ice cream, she gave up her nightly drama. So no more ice cream for me.

Last night was the best yet. She went down at 9, I went to bed at 11. Pulled her into bed with me at 1. partly because she woke up (probably due to the flash light I was using to make sure she was breathing, lol) and partly b/c I missed her. I fed her then she woke at 4:45, fed her again and well then it went down hill...6, 7, 7:15, 7:45 and 8:30 wake ups. But still...I am hopefull tonight will be more of the same.

We have a new more rigid bedtime routine. and it takes 2 HOURS!! 7 we start winding down with bath or walk, diaper, PJs then 7:45 book time, 8pm nursing/singing twinkle twinkle a million times, rocking patting back and then finally about 9 to 9:15 she is out. I seclude her in a dark room from after book time as well, with me of course.

Putting her into the crib wakes her up every time...don't know how to master this one.

Today I had a little parm. cheese, I hope I am not regretting that later!

[sugarpop]

oh and teething...yes we are doing that
developmental stuff...yep all over that one

She is SO busy, starting to stand on her own, rambling non stop, learning to high five, and clap and wave, saying hi and by and mama some but don't know if she knows what they mean. working on tooth number 5 and 6.

Growth spurt...probably, as she eats nonstop so if she doesn't get taller she will HAVE to get wider lol

[confustication]

We all seem to be in the same boat with our 9 month olds, so tall your DH it certainly is normal.

In our family, DH takes the early part of the night so I can get a block of sleep, and I take the later part of the night (1 am on, or so.) He may not have milk, but he is perfectly capable of parenting him to sleep- even if that means walking around for a bit to settle him.