Feeling Overwhelmed

[anomaly13]

We want to HS our three little ones, the boys will be 4 and 2 in August and our baby girl is 10 weeks old. I feel like I need to start something more structured with the oldest. I have no idea where to start. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from myself right now. I am a sahm and as many of you know there is a lot of work in that alone adding hsing to the mix has me feeling overwhelmed. I think once I get started it will feel a lot better and it will be pretty smooth, but I don't know where or how to start. I have been looking at a lot of blogs and see all the wonderful things parents are doing to hs their children and just feel lost and a little sad that I have not started yet with my son, like he's missing out and it's my fault. I am most interested in the Montessori Method most.

How did you start? At what age?
Is there a really wonderful book I should read?

[CherryBomb]

I think it's really normal to feel intimidated and overwhelmed when you're thinking about starting out. I'd just find a gentle preK program and give a go. Try to relax and not compare yourself to blogs! They always seem so pefect, but trust me, they aren't

[SundayCrepes]

I'd feel overwhelmed too. My kids are 4.5 and 22 months. I'm just now starting to feel like I can do activities with my older one. We mainly do science experiments, one or two a week (without theory) and we read LOTS of books. I've recently discovered http://www.sonlight.com/ We're not using their instructor's guides and we're not getting the religious books, but I like having a list of books that is introducing my kids to the world (in addition to all the other books we read.)

I've been reading about delayed academics lately. Kids in Finland and Sweden don't start academics (including reading) until they are 7. Finland has the highest academic achievements in Europe and Sweden has the highest literacy rates at age 10. (Not all European schools do delayed academics.) I think you have enough time to hold off on doing anything formal. Really, at this age your oldest just needs to play.

I highly recommend reading this book about how preschool kids learn. http://www.amazon.com/Einstein-Never...7390699&sr=8-1

It's really good and really easy to read. One of the things they talk about is why it is better for kids this age to play rather than do academics. You may find comfort in reading how you don't need to do anything at this point except let him play.

[Bluegoat]

In many places kids don't start school until age six or seven. You could easily wait a year, I tend to think four is too young to start formal work. I'd just go with lots of good quality reading, and whatever comes up naturally.

[LuxPerpetua]

My dd is 4.5 and we follow the Ambleside Online year 0 recommendations, as well as get lots of seasonal books from our library. Other than that, she helps with chores and plays. My theory is: read things, grow things, do fun things. We have a small container garden--so we definitely don't do anything elaborate--and it has been great for us. We swim, run around, etc. We have zoo memberships and museum memberships that I'm re-thinking because we aren't really using them--regular life is just too fun. We're not doing anything more formal until at least 5.5 for kindy, and probably then it will just be "do the same thing but add Handwriting Without Tears" or something. We're not touching math/reading until 6.5, mainly due to what SundayCrepes said above.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by LuxPerpetua

My theory is: read things, grow things, do fun things.

Gosh, I like that.

Makes me especially glad I put in a garden this year.

[MrsJewelsRae]

I would really go low key and try not to pressure yourself, kids learn an amazing amount from so little instruction. At that age with my oldest I felt the same self induced pressure (and a little from the outside too since so many people were asking me if was starting kindy soon). Just do lots of reading to him, start an alphabet scrapbook that he can do when he wants at his own pace. I wrote all the letters of the alphabet on their own page and we would find pictures in magazines, newspapers etc of things that started with that word, etc. Also he had a church alphabet book that he liked to practice writing his letters, I also wrote out names of people he knew for him to copy. We basically did a lot of fun phonics activities, nothing formal or pushy. I did a lot less with my dd because I didn`t feel that pressure and yet she learned to read almost on her own at the same age my ds did! Just focus on having fun and getting outside to play a lot, start a nature collection, plant seeds and watch them grow into productive plants you can eat from (beans, strawberries, tomatoes I`ve found to be quite easy, though you can`t eat the strawberries till the 2nd year). Make sure your focus is on fun learning *activities* rather than textbooks and worksheets, IMO.

Also a couple things he really liked were learning outside with sidewalk chalk, and we played games on the windows with window markers like match the upper case letters on one side to the lower case letter on the other side with a line, etc.

[jumpmama]

I plan on ordering a waldorf kindi or montessori pre/k curriculum and learning it first before i teach it. DS is only 3 so we have a little while. I think a good place to start is getting your rythym going and using the chunk of time you would use to teach, to go outside and learn about nature and play.

my mind has been spinning too. I am sooo envious of these earthy mamas who seem to have it all figured out (im sure they arent as perfect as their blogs make them seem but, ukwim right? ) lol.

[Catherine12]

I also have three kids with about the same age spacing as yours, but mine are a couple years older - 6, 4, and 2.

My advice is don't worry too much. At age 4, most kids don't have the attention span to do too much structured learning, and will learn a lot through play and exploration. If a curriculum helps keep you organized and saves you time, that's great, but you don't really need one, even for more "academic" areas.

What I've found to work for a 4yo is to do several short lessons on academic topics (like 15 minutes long) throughout the day rather than to try to do a "school day" that is nonstop academics. This helps ensure that the 4yo is enthusiastic and able to pay attention. As they get older, their attention span increases and you can lengthen your lessons.

Variety is also helpful. I try not to do two sedentary activities in a row with my 4yo, and to cover each topic in a number of different ways.

I have also provided him with some educational computer games. This way he can learn more independently, and while he is occupied I can more easily work one-on-one with my 6yo.

School doesn't add as many hours of work to my day as one might expect - whenever I have a no-school day with the kids I find I don't save that much time, because the kids still need a lot of attention (I have to keep them out of trouble, make sure they are getting along, keep them entertained, etc.). When we're doing school the kids are better behaved because they are getting plenty of attention and have something constructive to do (my 4yo is the sort who will start taking things apart if left to his own devices, so this is a significant benefit).

[anomaly13]

Thanks for the responses and advice. We are pretty much already doing what many of you suggested. We read a ton of books and spend most of the day outside in the yard or on nature walks. The kids help with chores and cooking/baking. We also go to the library a lot and to the zoo/aquarium/botanical gardens quite a bit. I think I feel the pressure because I often get a not so positive response from family when they ask about starting school and I tell them we are hsing, like they think I cannot do it. I have quite a few educators in my family, all of whom worked in public schools, so they give me the feeling that I didn't go to school for it and therefor cannot do it. I have lightened up on myself and just plan on continuing with what we are already doing. I do plan on searching out curriculum to use in the future and really get to know so when the time comes it is not new to me.

Oh and I seem to have the blackest thumb b/c I am pretty much incapable of growing plants and the bids keep eating my seeds before they can sprout, but we keep trying!

Thanks again!!!!!!

[RiverSky]

4 year olds absolutely do not need structured activities, even if they are homeschooled!

For your own sanity, I would suggest getting out of the house on occasion (maybe twice or thrice a week?) by joining a moms club and going to their park days and field trips, and going to a library story time once a week. I found, when my children were that age, that the house stayed cleaner when I was OUT OF IT and my sanity was much relieved when I could stand around in a playground holding a baby, watching my toddler run around and play safely with other toddlers, and just chat with the other moms.

[bluebirdiemama]

I agree with these mamas! I think it's best not to put alot of pressure on academics, esp at an early age. I would just like to add that, mama, you have a 10 week old!!!! While thinking about and emplementing educational activities for your older is a good thing, you need to take it easy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You and your family are still adjusting to the new baby.

[cappuccinosmom]

I agree that you don't need to start anything now.

If you really, really feel like you need to, maybe you could block in 20-30 minutes of your day and call it "school time" where you sit down with your oldest at the table and do stuff. Read a book and have him draw a picture about the story. Let him sort beans. Count marshmallows. Maybe get a little book that uses dry-erase markers (I've seen such books with alphabet and number pages) and he can spend a few minutes getting used to the idea of writing.

We did start at four. But very, very minimally. More to get used to the idea. What they really learn from is the books we read to them, the conversations we have, and the fun stuff we do.