What kind of arrangements did you make for your toddler during your birth?

[Adallae]

*I hope this is the right place to post this question, please feel free to move it if it would be better elsewhere!*

DD will be just 18/19 months when baby #2 comes along. We will be at a Birthing Center with a midwife, and there is a chance DD could be allowed to be in the delivery room with us. I will be having a waterbirth. Would she be too young for that kind of environment? I really want her to be there, but I don't want it to be a traumatic event. What about before we leave for the birthing center - last time I labored at home in the shower for about 4 hours. Should I not have her around then either?

I would love to hear any experiences or suggestions!

[kltroy]

I think having a young child with you is fine AS LONG AS SHE HAS A DEDICATED CARE PROVIDER. So if your mom is in town and is "on kid duty" for example, this is a good arrangement. Your DD can be at the birth center if she wants to, or can leave if she is bored, uncomfrotable etc.

IMHO, 18 months is pretty young, and seeing mom in her not-normal state can be a little upsetting for a child this young. We had a hospital birth for #2, but opted to have friends come over and watch DS while we were out. Shortly after I had my baby, DH came home from the hospital to stay with DS, and they came in for a visit together. That worked out beautifully.

I would make sure you've got someone on kid duty as soon as you get to the point in labor where you and DH can no longer really pay attention to your daughter.

[kitkat5505]

For birth #2 my bro and sil took DS#1. My siblings all took turns watching him at the hospital so he could come see us after the birth then bro and sil took him home with them until we got home the next day. With birth #3 I was at a birth center and they were there, but they could choose whether they wanted to be with me or not. DS#1 slept pretty much the whole time out in the family area, and DS#2 was in and out. My little sister's watched them the whole time. After we transferred to the hospital my bro and sil again took them until we got home, bringing them to visit a couple times.

[liberal_chick]

My MIL comes and occupies the kids. Ds1 was here when ds2 was born, but he was alseep in his bed the whole time. With ds2 being so little when our next guy gets here, I think I'm just going to have her take them to a hotel to swim or something and let them spend the night there. My experience has been that I need dh's full attention and I am in no place to give them any care myself. So we have someone on hand.

[momtoTnT]

I had a hospital birth with my second (I was induced, so there was no laboring at home first) - my DS was not quite 16 months old yet. He was with us at the hospital along with the rest of our family (my sister, SIL, MIL, and both of my parents) - my SIL, dad and MIL all took turns keeping him occupied - he was in and out of the room, crawling around the halls. I honestly don't remember if he was in the room for the actual birth or not, but I think he was - if he wasn't, he came in right afterward. It worked for us - but DH and I didn't have to worry about him. I wouldn't have been able to deal if DH's attention was elsewhere - I needed him to help me. DS left with my MIL a few hours after DD was born and spent the night with her.