How old to play outside alone?

[InMediasRes]

Some of my neighborhood kids seem awfully small to be playing outside unattended. Even in a quiet circle. I am the only parent outside. Ever. And these parents make no effort to meet or get to know me, even though I am actively parenting their 4-10yo for 2+ hours per day.

How old do you think is universally, under normal circumstances, okay to play outside without supervision? We're talking front yard, running around the neighborhood kind of playing, where cars could hit you or someone could snatch you up if no one was watching.

[Areia]

While I was running around the neighborhood at 4 and 5 years old, I don't think I'd let my DD do that until she's at least 8 or 9 and that would be walking to a friend's house or going to the nearby park. I'm going to have to know where she is. I grew up in a very safe neighborhood where I was related to half the people and the other half, my family had know for a good decade or so -- very few people moved away. It's different now - I don't know my neighbors very well and also it just seems a more dangerous time (I know that's not necessarily true - we just hear about things more now), but I'd still rather be cautious.

[Alyantavid]

4-5. I let my just turned 4 year old outside by himself, but he always stays right beside the door and lasts 2 minutes max by himself. My older son was 4.5-5 when he started going out alone regularly.

But we live in the country, I've taught them the boundaries and we have an enormous dog to keep them safe.

[daytripper75]

I still don't let my 5 year old out in the front alone but the backyard is free game for either of my children. I think that the likelihood of their being snatched is about equal to the likelihood that a bird of prey will get them.
The front yard at our house is small and too close to the street where people drive too fast.

[MaerynPearl]

There are a LOT of things that go into this...

My nearly-5 year old is not as trustworthy as her brother was at the same age. We let him play outside alone at 4 1/2... and never worried about him (of course, checked on him frequently) but we also lived in a small town on a very slow street.

We just moved into a city today (small one but much larger than the towns of 500 and 2500 that I lived in before) I will not be okay with DS out front alone until he gets used to the area (a few family walks at night before I am comfortable that he can find his way home) but he is almost 8 and I will have no problem once hes used to the area or has made friends... hes really trustworthy and hardly if ever breaks the rules. Plus our street is probably slightly slower than our old one as only a few homes have any reason to go down our street.

DD, however, will be allowed out back alone but only because we have a huge privacy fence and I can lock the gates. Otherwise, I don't trust her! She is ALWAYS breaking the rules!


SO yeah... it depends on:
Location
Security
Childs own personality/mentality/ability to follow rules

[limabean]

My DS is 5, and I don't let him play out front by himself yet. He and my 2-year-old DD play in the fenced backyard all the time without me (although I stay near a window where I can hear them easily and peek out often), but although a few kids my DS's age do play outside by themselves in my neighborhood, most of the time parents go out front with their kids.

I chose 8 in the poll, but in a year or two I'm sure DS won't seem quite so tiny to me, so who knows, I may feel comfortable with it at 6 or 7. But so far at 5, nope!

[momtoTnT]

My kids are almost 5 and just turned 6, and this spring I've started letting them play outside unsupervised - but - they have to stay in our front or back (preferably back) yard. I also can see/hear them from inside and visually check every few minutes.

If they ask first, they are allowed to wander over to the neighbors house (behind and across the street from us) to see if they want to/can come out and play. Both kids know that if they leave the yard without permission, they have to come inside -my DD (the 4 yo) is the only one to have this particular consequence imposed so far.

[Teenytoona]

It depends on the kid and the environment. Is the kid responsible enough to not go in the street or are they the more oblivious to the world sort who'd not notice a speeding car? Is the yard fenced in or somehow enclosed? Do you have a huge yard? All those sorts of things. I couldn't pick an age.

[pauletoy]

Well because we are a "large family", our kids are never completely alone. Three of them ages 7,6 and 4 play outside without an adult frequently.

[StrawberryFields]

My kids are 4 and 2 and I do not go outside with them. They can play in the front yard or the backyard. I prefer my 2 year old to be accompanied by the 4 year old though rather than totally alone. I voted 5 on the poll though because my kids can't "run around the neighborhood" though I could see me being cool with it (to a point) when my ds is 5. As he approaches 5 he is getting more and more freedoms like that.

My kids spend a good 80% of their day outside playing.

[mamazee]

Mine was maybe 4.5 to 5 when she started running around outside on her own. She played on her own in the fenced backyard before that, but as far as going to a neighbor's house (just a couple of adjoining neighbors we know really well) if she saw them playing outside, close to 5. I voted 5 but I'm pretty sure it was a bit before that.

She spends at least 80% of the day in decent weather playing outside also.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

There are so many variables here, we can only speak for ourselves and the type of area we live in. From 2 on my kids played by themselves in our fenced back yard in a suburban neighborhood. From about 5 they could go down the street to play with friends (with permission) and by now (7 and 10) they are allowed to ride their bikes/scooters around the neighborhood on their own (with cellp hone) and to go to the next block to play with friends.

The rules are that I have to know where they are going. If they are riding they have to stay together, they have to stay within the 4-6 block radius we've set, and they have to have a cell phone with them. There are only a few kids their ages in the area that we know, so they don't tend to go from house to house very much, so I generally know where they are.

[berry987]

My 3 and 5 yo play out front by themselves every day. They ride bikes, play in the sprinkler, play with neighbor kids, etc. They run around to their friends houses, but know not to go in anyone's house without asking.

[LynnS6]

I said 4-5. Dd was out with her older brother (3 years older) unsupervised when she was 4. I was out a fair amount, and we checked on them often. Ds didn't want to go out without us until he was 6-7, so it was a moot point.

Now our kids are 6 and 9, and I can't see supervising them a lot. I'll check on them. They know that if they go into someone's house, they have to tell me.

[mommariffic]

Depends

We live in an urban area, so street playing isn't going to happen without an adult. DD can play in our small driveway and color/water our flowers but only with a grown up.

Our yard is small, and completely fenced in. If I'm in the kitchen I can see her, so I don't mind if she wanders out there to do her water table while I'm finishing up the dishes or something. Generally she plays on the deck with her farm toys, or is just puttering around --

[rainbowmoon]

I still don't let my 6yo play out of sight. He is a wanderer though and super friendly. So I think it depends on the kid. He did walk down the street out of sight the other day ALONE to meet my partner and DD in the cemetery (Where we walk alot with our dog) and I about freaked out so he won't be doing that again. (He is much more confident than me obviously! but I think he is too young to have no supervision) I ended up going after him to make sure he got there! He did well overall, though he did get distracted by a neighbor and stopped to talk..which kind of unnerves me. (I had told him not to stop and talk to anyone, we don't know said neighbor) I want him to be friendly but the kid will talk to anyone at all and is just so super trusting and naive. We have had the stranger talk may many times but it's not totally hit home/fully understood quite yet.

ETA-I do however let them play together (almost 5 and the 6yo) out in the unfenced yard on the front and side of the house, (The back has a natural fence) while I am inside,watching of course but not out there supervising every second exactly, I ask them to stay where I can see them through the window but we have a stream they like to explore on the side of the property so I just keep an ear out and an eye out for folks walking or driving by when they go down there.

[ALittleBitCrunchy]

My 8 year old can play outside alone but he can't leave the yard. My 6 year old can only be outside if she's with him or with one of us. Roaming the neighborhood? Maybe at 9 but 10 seems possible, too.

We are the odd ones in our neighborhood. Kids 4-5 years old ride their bikes everywhere and it scares me to watch - they ride on the streets and we have blind hills and curves, and they aren't good at staying on the side of the road. There are 3 year olds that cross the street and wander a few houses.

For me, no way. For them, no big deal.

[lilyka]

my kids were playing on the porch/driveway by the time they were 2 1/2 or three. usually with a friend or sibling. none of them were ever really interested in being out there completely alone. in the yard around 3 1/2 or 4 and running around the neighborhood as soon as the oldest was about 7 or 8 and little sisters would often tag along. They were not allowed to crosse the stree or turn a corner (we live on the corner though so this gave them a block of roam space in either direction.) Our neighborhood is rough, low income, gang activity etc but I feel more safe here than I would in a middle class neighborhood.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by ALittleBitCrunchy

We are the odd ones in our neighborhood. Kids 4-5 years old ride their bikes everywhere and it scares me to watch - they ride on the streets and we have blind hills and curves, and they aren't good at staying on the side of the road. There are 3 year olds that cross the street and wander a few houses.

For me, no way. For them, no big deal.

See, this is what I'm talking about. We had a family that moved a while back that let their 2.5yo outside to run around in the street unsupervised. And I know that mom and dad weren't actually watching because they would show up at my door a lot asking if I'd seen their kids.

The other kids (4yo, 6yo, 7yo, 8yo, and 9yo) seem pretty savvy, but my kids want to play with them, and at 3yo and 16mo, certainly can't be out there alone. Which means I'm interacting with the other girls A LOT. But none of the parents has even come over to meet me or get to know me. The kids seem to have taken a liking to me and come over for water, to ask me to throw stuff away for them, or to just talk to me on my front porch while I'm out with my kids. If my kids were with a neighbor that much, you can bet I would be making friends with that neighbor. I just don't get it.

And it's not like our street is without hazards. We are blocks from a major freeway. There is a field with access from the circle that has rattle snakes. There is a canal on one side with a fence that any kid could easily slip under.

Nevermind that I have to break up fights, tell them not to play with boards full of rusty nails, bring them band-aids, and keep them civil around my kids. The one is terribly rude and I feel like I'm stepping on toes by gently correcting her.

I try to stay as far back from their play as I can, but my kids want to play too, so I end up interacting with them a lot. I just wanted a reality check to see if I'm crazy in thinking these kids parent's should at least be getting to know me better. I don't feel like it's my job to make the first move here.

[Boot]

I voted 4 but that is in our townhouse complex with lots of known and trusted adults nearby and assuming the kid gets checked on frequently. My DS is just 3 and I sometimes let him be outside by himself while I go in to check on the baby or turn off the stove but unfortunately he has recently taken to walking into people's houses so that's not possible any more. There are a few 4 year olds who run around unsupervised and they do fine.