How old to play outside alone? - Page 2

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In a fenced backyard, I'd let a baby go out. But, in the front, or an open yard, it depends on the neighborhood and how many kids are out there too.

Maaaybe seven or eight?

[cschick]

The kid is turning 4 and HE won't go outside alone. Last summer, I would let him play on the patio in the sandbox while I was in the dinette or kitchen (can't see the patio from the kitchen, but I can hear it). This summer, I've told him he could go out and play in the sandbox alone/chalk on the driveway, but he wants me to be outside with him. (Our yard is not fenced since fences are not permitted in our area.)

When he's outside (and I'm outside weeding and etc) he has a limit of 3 houses wandering either side, unless he asks special permission to go down to his friend's house which is 5 houses away.

[neetling]

my 3 year old goes out front with his 6 and 7 year old sisters. I check on them frequently. They are allowed out front because we live on a cul du sac off a dead end road. All the families on our little circle of 4 houses have kids and drive slowly. They get out of the way of any other vehicles.

I don't let him out without his sisters and they are only allowed in the circle. Usually the other kids are out as well. I watch from teh windows and so do the other parents.

The oldest kid on the block is 9. The kids are 9, 7, 6, 6, 4, 4, and 3. It works out well. If we lived somewhere else I'd probably only let them in the back yard alone. Traffic worried me in other places we've lived.

[Vancouver Mommy]

Originally Posted by berry987

My 3 and 5 yo play out front by themselves every day. They ride bikes, play in the sprinkler, play with neighbor kids, etc. They run around to their friends houses, but know not to go in anyone's house without asking.

Glad I'm not the only one!

[SashaBreeze]

I agree that it depends on the area you live in and the child.

We moved into the country on a dead end road several months ago and I would have no problem with having a 4+ year old playing outside alone. That being said our 4 year old has some special needs that I really dont feel comfortable with him alone outside so he has to be with either his 9 or 13 year old sisters. I can totally see me letting his little sister out by herself at that age (or maybe a little younger?) though.

When we still lived in the middle of town I didn't feel comfortable letting them out alone until around age 8 or 9. But then again we lived in a pretty bad neighborhood. So even in town I think it would depend on the area you live in.

[SparklingGemini]

My DD has been playing alone in our fenced patio since she was about 18 months, give or take. But I was always downstairs where I could see her clearly.

Since about 2-2.5, she's out there for short unsupervised periods, although I can always hear her.

As for roaming the neighborhood, allowed out front, I'm thinking five or six. Closer to five if we were in a more peaceful, suburban setting but since we live in a townhouse community around the corner from a very busy, commercial street, with lots of car AND foot traffic(including local homeless, some of who are violent at times), I think I'm going to err on the side of overly cautious.

[ann_of_loxley]

My son was 3 - but we live in the middle of nowhere! lol

The answer to this question really depends on a few things. Mainly - where you live. And also, the child (their capabilities, etc).

If we lived in the city - my answer would have not been 3 years of age! If we lived where we used to before we moved out to the country (shortly after having DS because I did not want to raise him in the city)...then my answer might be 10 years of age! lol We didn't have a front garden there and lived right off a main busy road near a pub!

But - we live in the country. Quiet road. End of the cul-de-sac (so theres loads of driveway before you even hit the middle of the street here) - grassy bank/trees to the side of us. Everyone here knows your name. (even if they don't come out to chat and get to know you, they know who you are and your children already! lol). And I have a son who is far from boistrous and pretty 'cautious' - so I am not worried about him running to his death in the middle of the road of leaping to his death from a tree, etc. He also knows that he doesn't have to talk to anyone who makes him feel uncomfortable and not to go away with anyone unless asking me first.

So far - nearly approaching five...he hasn't gone farther than 3 yards away from our house yet though! lol And he is always only semi-unsupervised in all honesty. He constantly runs back to the house to tell me something. I leave the front door open - and usually if he is out there playing by himself, it is because I am doing something like cleaning/cooking in the kitchen - which is at the front of our house so I can still see him by looking out the window.

[ramama]

We live in a townhouse development and kids as young as 4 play outside alone and unsupervised and have the run of the whole development. DD1 was 4 when I started letting her play outside alone, but I kept pretty close tabs on her. This year she is 6 and I let her do as she pleases. She plays outside for 10-12 hours a day in the summer and I only see her when she's hungry or thirsty. DD2 is 4 and is a little more meek and dependent on her older sister. I let her roam the neighborhood with DD1, but if she's on her own she voluntarily stays within sight of the house or asks permission before roaming with an older friend.

[MJB]

It depends on the neighborhood but my kids were playing in our (no car) neighborhood unsupervised at 4.5 and 1.5. I'd check on them every 15 minutes or so but wasn't worried about them. My then-4 yr. old was allowed to go further than my toddler.
They're 7.5 and 4.5 now and they are allowed to play in our yard and the neighbors' yard (same side of street). I peek out the window every half hour or so. My 7.5 yr. old has been on vacation with his dad for 2 weeks so my little guy has just been playing with the neighbors (who have a single dad whom I've never met). During last school year he'd also play alone in our unfenced yard, but this year he is going to full-day kindergarten so he won't have to be home without his brother all day. My 7.5 yr. old walked or biked to and from school for all of 1st grade. They are also allowed to ride their bikes (have had trainers off for 3 and 2 years respectively) to the end of the street and back.

I would be really irritated if someone else was "actively parenting" my children. If there was a problem with my kids' behavior I'd expect them to come to me. Thankfully I haven't seen any adults doing any such thing in any of the places we've lived.

[eclipse]

Assuming you don't mean a fenced front yard, I said 6,7,8ish. My kids have played in the front yard since we moved here last year (when they were 3,5,and just turned 8), but our yard is fully fenced. I wouldn't let mt son (9 and a half) play unsupervised outside the fence here in Mexico, but I probably would if we were in the states, depending upon the neighborhood.

[Storm Bride]

Universally? I don't know. We've started letting ds2 outside this summer, and he's four (five next month). But, we're in a townhouse complex, and he stays within the complex. His sister (7, and quite levelheaded, especially about safety matters)) is almost always outside with him. There are several parents who sit outside and socialize (our unit is at the far end near the driveway to the complex, so we're rarely out there, as we can't easily do the popping in and out of the house thing) a lot. They're not really supervising, but they do hear if there's a...rumpus.

However, I do go out and check on them if there's nobody around, and dd1 has standing instrutions to come get me immediately if ds2 is doing anything unsafe or mean. I'd be out a bit more, but I'm incredibly fatigued, and only feel up to chasing dd2 (very fast crawler - never seen anything like it) for so long.

If cars were really a factor (they're not, as our parking lot dead-ends right by where the kids play), then ds2 wouldn't be allowed out until he was...20? He has no sense of safety around cars - zip. zero. zilch.

[lyterae]

DD(4) is allowed to play in the backyard by herself, and in the front yard with supervision. We do live out in the country but our road is like a one road subdivision and people drive too quickly down it. Most of the neighbors children roam free, so we're considered the crazy parents because we won't let her play in the street and wander all over.

[RiverTam]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

Some of my neighborhood kids seem awfully small to be playing outside unattended. Even in a quiet circle. I am the only parent outside. Ever. And these parents make no effort to meet or get to know me, even though I am actively parenting their 4-10yo for 2+ hours per day.

How old do you think is universally, under normal circumstances, okay to play outside without supervision? We're talking front yard, running around the neighborhood kind of playing, where cars could hit you or someone could snatch you up if no one was watching.

We let our kids play at the neighbors' houses at age 4 and 6 (last summer). (There's a whole group of kids on our block to play with.) They're not allowed to leave the block. They're not allowed to go inside any houses. They have to tell me who they're playing with. They're not allowed to cross the street without telling me, so that I can come out and make sure they look both ways. My kids are very good about following these rules.

I'd let them ride bikes on our block if our street was less busy, but we're on a bus route and close to a high school. Our street is not safe for bike riding. On a circle drive, I'd be fine with it.

As for kids getting snatched... the likelihood of that happening in my neighborhood is slim to none. My kids are more likely to get struck by lightening. My kids and I aren't going to plan our lives around a danger that is improbable at best.

Getting hit by a car is much more likely, but my kids are drilled on safety rules around cars and traffic, and they follow it. I wouldn't let them play outside or cross a street if they weren't well versed in how to take care of themselves.

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In our particular neighborhood, the kids need supervision. We don't really have front yards, and all the kids play in the street. But, if we were in a neighborhood with yards, or a complex of some kind, I'd probably not think much of letting even very little kids go out unsupervised.

[JamieCatheryn]

I'd go with what I grew up with: about 2-3 for in the backyard, 5-6 front yard alone, 8-9 crossing streets/leaving the block. *Never* allowed to play or walk *in* the street if there's another option. As far as being snatched up, there's this:

1. Does your child know how to honor his feelings? If someone makes him uncomfortable, that's an important signal.
2. Are you as the parent strong enough to hear about any experience your child has had, no matter how unpleasant?
3. Does your child know it's okay to rebuff and defy adults?
4. Does your child know it's okay to be assertive?
5. Does your child know how to ask for assistance or help?
6. Does your child know how to choose who to ask? For example, he should look for a woman to help him.
7. Does your child know how to describe his peril?
8. Does your child know it's okay to strike, even to injure, someone if he believes he is in danger, and that you'll support any action he takes as a result of feeling uncomfortable or afraid?
9. Does your child know it's okay to make noise, to scream, to yell, to run?
10. Does your child know that if someone ever tries to force him to go somewhere, what he screams should include, ''This is not my father''? Onlookers seeing a child scream or even struggle are likely to assume the adult is a parent.
11. Does your child know that if someone says, ''Don't yell,'' the thing to do is yell? The corollary is if someone says, ''Don't tell,'' the thing to do is tell.
12. Does your child know to fully resist ever going anywhere out of public view with someone he doesn't know, and particularly to resist going anywhere with someone who tries to persuade him?

[Lady Mayapple]

I voted age 7 because that's when I can remember being allowed to ride my bike around the block (which quickly turned into around the entire, rather large neighborhood and over into the other development because my mom didn't really pay any attention)

Sadly, in our current neighborhood the answer will be NEVER. While our street is quiet and there are no issues, we are just a few blocks away from some bad parts of town. A woman was riding her bicycle to Popeye's, which is like a one minute drive up the street from us, maybe around 8-9pm-someone drove by and shot her. Even the upscale historic neighborhood across from ours is a problem. Two teenagers robbed an elderly couple over there at gunpoint in broad daylight. So yeah, I love our house and our street but everything around us is just too dangerous. The end of our street is also a drop-off point for the local bus. I can recognize everyone that gets on the bus in the morning and comes home from work in the evening, and a few people that take it at night. But there's nothing stopping a weirdo from getting dropped off at our street. Call me paranoid but that's just how I roll.

Thankfully we have a totally fenced backyard with a locking gate. DH installed the lock high on the gate so there's no way the kids can reach it. If we were in a safer neighborhood, I'd say age 7 for playing alone.

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by StrawberryFields

My kids are 4 and 2 and I do not go outside with them. They can play in the front yard or the backyard. I prefer my 2 year old to be accompanied by the 4 year old though rather than totally alone. I voted 5 on the poll though because my kids can't "run around the neighborhood" though I could see me being cool with it (to a point) when my ds is 5. As he approaches 5 he is getting more and more freedoms like that.

My kids spend a good 80% of their day outside playing.

My kids are 2 and 4 and I do the above also.

[Kidzaplenty]

For us, anywhere between 2 and 4 is usually when they can go outside alone to play. We live in a safe neighborhood and if they know and obey to stay in our yard, I have no trouble with it. My almost 2 year old, right now, is not ready, he usually runs straight for the street. But, over the last few weeks, with a lot of work from us, he has nearly stopped the "street running" and I think he will be good to go in a month or two, just in time for his birthday.

Though, like some above have said, we are a large family, so no one is usually truly alone.

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

How old do you think is universally, under normal circumstances, okay to play outside without supervision? We're talking front yard, running around the neighborhood kind of playing, where cars could hit you or someone could snatch you up if no one was watching.

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm repeating something here.

I don't think there is any universal, normal set of circumstances. There just isn't.

Everything depends on the context -- the neighborhood, the other children, your child.

My DS is naturally extremely cautious by nature. We also live in a very safe neighborhood with very little car traffic. DS wasn't ready to go around when he was 4 because he was still afraid to leave our backyard. By five, he was. Now, at 7, he has a "territory" in our neighborhood which he can roam in on foot or bike. It's a "territory" we've agreed on together.

Now, a close friend of mine lives in our neighborhood. Her DS is the same age as mine. Her son has ADHD and extremely poor impulse control. Same neighborhood, same other neighborhood kids, different kid. There's no way she could let him out to roam unsupervised. It just wouldn't be same *for him*.

If we lived in a neighborhood with lots of bullies or "rough" boys, I probably would have to supervise DS more, because he's a kid who isn't likely to stand up for himself. And on it goes.

I really think parents have to examine their own particular context, including their kids' characters and see where it leads them.

OP, if you don't want to actively parent other kids, don't. If they're bothering your kid, go and knock on their parents door!

[pigpokey]

The risk of being snatched up by a random stranger probably goes UP from age 4 - 11 and then really goes up once girls hit puberty. It's not a risk you outgrow; it's a far outlier event that becomes slightly less rare with age.