Considering Adoption - any book recommendations?

[GMum]

Hi, we are a Canadian family who are considering adoption. I guess we are in the soul-searching and fact-finding stage. I have been doing a ton of research online, joined several yahoo groups, startig following blogs and are going from here.

Whilst we haven't ruled out domestic or Ministry adoptions completely we are leaning towards adotping from Rwanda.

Does anyone have any good book recommendations, specifically international adoptions and also transracial issues?

TIA for any help/advice.

[Polliwog]

There are lots of good suggestions in the Resource sticky if you haven't looked there yet.

[GMum]

Thanks Polliwog, I did look there but there are so many that look good! I was wondering if there were one or two that people particularly found helpful?

[ariahsmum]

Eeeeeeeeee! Did someone say adopting from Rwanda?

Our little man came home exactly a year ago, he is now 1.5. Books I have to recommend are not specifically adoption related, but must reads for Rwanda or for the soul:

Love in the Driest Season
Left to Tell (MUST READ THIS!)
Shake Hands with the Devil

Loved also books on raising black kiddos
such as
Why Are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla

HTH, I'm on the fly, but I'll check back to see if you have other questions!

Sooo excited for you guys and your little one to come!

[GMum]

Ariahsmum,

Ah, fantastic - thank you! That's exactly what I am looking for!!!

Those are awesome recommendations I'll look them all up and get to work. Shake Hands with the Devil we have a copy and on probably on our fifth or sixth viewing

So great to hear from someone who has been there done that with the specific country we hold in our hearts.


How is your little one doing? Do you have a blog? How have you found the whole process?

It looks as though it is going to take us a long time to build up the money for this adoption but I am so excited!

Thanks so much for replying.. that's made my day!.

[ariahsmum]

I am so glad you are excited and hold Rwanda in your heart. That is exactly the thing that is needed if you are going to do this. Rwanda is a country with heart, as far as I have seen and to date what draws you to Rwanda specifically has been important to the process. I know we were required to write a letter about "why Rwanda". It was likely the most moving thing I have ever written- I cannot imagine authoring it if it were just a place to get a kid, sigh. But I digress.

As for money, it really should not be to expensive and is WAY do-able compared to other countries or domestic programs. It is required to go indy and Rwanda itself currently assesses no fees anywhere along the way, nor does the orphanage. We (the second time around) came in right at the government tax credit amount so in the end typically you should break just about even, and that was with a long stay in Rwanda and three of us traveling. Just curious, what have you estimated for expenses?

(oh wait.. you are in Canada where you are required an agency on that end, right?)

As for our blog, I do not update it (lame, I know) but you certainly can go back and read and it is some good reading imnsho. I can't post the link as it has a donate button, but if you google "miryango" you will find its blogspot address. :-)

I might suggest using what money you have now to get paper ready and submit to the MIGEPROF in Rwanda. I don't know your financial situation, but it is taking a long time now for approvals and I'd love to see you get your dossier in the cue know rather than when you have the money for the bulk of it- travel expenses. Anyway to do that?

[GMum]

Thanks for all the wonderful advice ariahsmum,and more importantly, it's great to connect with someone who shares the same passion. I'm going to check your blog. We are just starting to lay everything out on paper/make some more formal enquiries to agencies etc. I really do hope we can somehow make this work! I might PM you soon if that is okay with you?