Doula for siblings at the birth?

[BaaBaa]

what do you do with the older brother/sister when you are birthing? I would love to have a home birth with my husband ONLY, or with a midwife who is around but VERY hands off (more towards UC...)

BUT what do i do with DD? We have no family local that i would like present at the birth. I do have a close friend, but she also has young children.

SO can i ask a doula to be there for my daughter? I dont feel like a normal sitter would be the right choice. I dont want a doula for me really, I want my husband, but DD is very high needs and she will need someone for her, as she may want to leave, come, go- im not sure how she will react.

So what do you do?

[St. Margaret]

That's what we're planning! Our doula from last time, hopefully.

[April422]

I'd check into postpartum doula. As a birth doula I've been hired to support mom and ended up being the babysitter. I didn't like it at all.

[grumpybear]

i was the other way around. We had a doula for me and my husband was dedicated to our son. They were still part of the birth though. Our doula made sure of that. So I guess in a way she was a doula for our family.

[rparker]

I posted a similar question a few weeks back: http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1222555

I'm going to be birthing in a hospital and we have zero good options for family/friends to provide last minute childcare. There is literally NO ONE whom we could rely on to be available 24-7 and my last labor was pretty quick. I've also decided that I'd like for my daughter to be there for/soon after the birth. I've talked with a local doula who is part of a volunteer collective. She says that providing support for an older sibling is totally within the realm of what her group does and that two of the members of her group would be willing to be available to attend my birth. (There are some logistical issues because I live an hour outside of their normal practice area.) I still have to meet with these two doulas, but it sounds very promising.

Our strategy at the moment is to plan on my husband potentially providing the majority of support for our daughter and the doula staying with me, but if Alice is relatively comfortable and calm with the doula we might do it the other way. I just know that I couldn't relax and birth comfortably if I was worried about Alice feeling anxious. If anything emergent/traumatic came up having the doula there would free my husband to go with me and/or the baby without having to scramble for childcare.

My guess is that something similar would be even easier for a doula in a home birth scenario?

[terrordactyl]

I would ask around some doulas may be ok with it and some may not just be really upfront about what you want before hand

[limette]

If you just want a babysitter then hire a babysitter.

For my previous birth with a doula (2nd labor and birth) the plan was to have my doula be with me throughout the labor while dh kept dd1 occupied and then when it came time to push the baby out, they would switch places (from crowning to birth). Dh could be there to catch and the doula would deal with dd1.

As it happened, dd1 fell asleep when I began the pushing stage and was still asleep 2 hours later when dd2 was born. So I got support from both dh and my doula.

[April422]

You could also see if any of the doulas in your community have older children willing to babysit, either at your home or at the birth.

I'm not into sibling care but I have volunteered my 17 year old daughter for the job. She's been to births before, so she's good with nudity, the sights and sounds of birth, but she's also an experienced babysitter who is CPR certified.