What do you do when 3 year old has no issues sitting in wet pants?

[AZ mom&teacher]

My son is three and juts got the hang of going potty. He has no problem going when remined and tells me he has to go when in the bath or pool. If I am with him and I see him squirm and I'll ask him if he has to go and he'll say yes and run for the bathroom. But... if I am not around and he is just sitting playing he will go in his pants and not say anything till I notice he is wet.. Tonight he wet my bed twice in an hour when he was playing. I went to ask him to go try and he said he didn't have to all sheepishly. I asked if he went in his pants and he said yes and I saw that he was soaked, the bed was soaked, but he was perfectly content to just continue playing. He was really upset that I put him in a pullup after that for bedtime, he wanted to wear big boy underwear, so obviously he wants to use the potty... but how do I get him to go on his own or at least tell me when he had an accident so that he's not sitting in yucky wet clothes?

[Dandelionkid]

Well my son is 4 and just started peeing in the toilet but still does not feel it when he poops and could have it in his diaper/underwear all day if I let him. I am just going with the flow for now and choosing whatever makes life the easiest for everyone. Which means diapers until he decides/matures enough to poop on the toilet. Maybe your son likes the idea of big kid underwear but isn't mature enough to use them yet?

[OTMomma]

I think its a pretty common thing actually. Having accidents at 3 is very common- somehow haveing to remember to actually GO to the potty is harder for some kids than others- and apparently if you've spent close to 3 years of your life in a diaper- it doesn't seem like such a big deal. If he wants to be in underwear, I would make a point of taking him to the potty about every 2 hours during the day, whether he thinks he has to go or not, and be sure to make him go before you leave the house, and then use a pull-up at night just in case.

With my oldest, I found that it was a long time before she didn't need me to remind her to use the toilet before she sat down to watch TV for example- otherwise she'd end up sitting in a puddle. I've found toilet training takes a lot of work on Mom's part- a lot more than I expected.

[meemee]

just give it time.

when my dd first pt, i had to remind her constantly in the beginning as she forgot/or didnt listen to her body urges/waiting till the last moment. even as she grew up she would have accidents once in a rare while.

very rarely does one go from diapers to underwears with no accidents. my dd had accidents for a couple of years after pt. rare ones but still accidents.

[ancoda]

Like the other posters have said it just takes time. At that age they are too into their play to want to take time to use the bathroom. It takes a lot of reminding from others that they need to take the time. Also my middle son still has accidents about every other month because he waits too long to run for the bathroom and he has been using the potty for almost 2 years now.

[mandib50]

moved to childhood years

[nina_yyc]

I have had to repeatedly encourage my DD to tell me about accidents and thanked her when she has. I have explained to her that we need to know because we don't want her getting a rash, and explained to her that we need to clean up a mess right away so it doesn't stink. DH hates accidents so I have had to repeatedly tell her that I am not mad if she pees, we need to learn from mistakes, and I've had to be really careful with my reactions. We have also talked about honesty and how it's important to tell the truth. I used to put her on the toilet every couple hours but DD never wanted to go and it was becoming a power struggle so now she goes bare bum in the house and she's responsible for getting herself to the toilet. She is sloooooooowly improving but it has been a long road. Some kids are just less in touch with their bodies than others.

[Banana731]

Yeah, it's slow going, like all the others have said. They make some really smart cloth trainers these days that look a lot more like "big kid undies." Maybe that would be a good compromise for both of you?

[AZ mom&teacher]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I never realized that potty training would be like this. All my friends had issues with fear of going, not wanting to sit or use public restrooms, so I thought we were in the clear. I guess I will just need to be more vigilant in the reminding, I am thrilled to be out of diapers though!!

[peaceful_mama]

With mine, because of outdoor play involving water, I used to ask her sometimes if it was water or pee, which led to a struggle when it *is* pee (she is 3.5 almost, has been using the potty for about a year and a half, consistently and totally out of diapers except at night for a year.)

She has a problem going on now though....I have had her checked for UTI and diabetes due to frequent peeing and accidents. We see a urologist July 1, finally.
The point is, she will often try to say she just sat in water, so now I just tell her she needs to change her wet clothes and offer help if she needs it. (really why does it matter? wet is wet.)

[cicely_m]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

The point is, she will often try to say she just sat in water, so now I just tell her she needs to change her wet clothes and offer help if she needs it. (really why does it matter? wet is wet.)

Mine does this, too. It happened twice, actually, today-- I noticed she had damp pants and I mentioned that maybe we should go to the potty and she said, "No, I just poured water on my pants!" I mean, I had been sitting RIGHT WITH HER for the last 2 hours, and she hadn't even HAD a cup of water for half an hour. I think I would have noticed. It takes everything I have not to get seriously visibly frustrated. Actually, I think I fail at that. I'm getting really tired of it.